Life’s too short to fret over “feewings”. Today’s kids are pussies, we at least had duck & cover films over real nuclear terror and civil defense drills once a month back in the day. Now it’s safe spaces, crayons & emotional support critters. smh…
“You CAN* have enough guns…you CAN’T have enough ammunition.” – HokieGomer
*This in no way is an endorsement NOT to buy another gun, just the fact that at some point you have a gun for each hand. If ammo is short, you are in Barney.
Life is too short to deal with pistachios, period.
That’s just plain nutty…walnuts or otherwise.
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
Life is too short.
In a game of “rock, paper, scissors”, Hammer smashes Pistachio.
No need for games…there’s not much that can’t be corrected with a properly sized hammer.
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
Be sure to use Basil not Basil.
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
Well I’m not saying it involves Aliens but… it involves Aliens.
…always remember where your towel is.
Always… uhhh, no, never…. I got nothin’…
When something miraculous happens near you, claim credit.
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
You can always buy more pistachios. Unless you keep voting for Democrats.
… four colors suffice.
Life’s too short to fret over “feewings”. Today’s kids are pussies, we at least had duck & cover films over real nuclear terror and civil defense drills once a month back in the day. Now it’s safe spaces, crayons & emotional support critters. smh…
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
Talking with idiots does not help make you smarter.
That’s why I never talk to them; I only reply to their blog comments.
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
You can’t depend on karma, so plot your own vengeance.
With a philosophy degree, you won’t be able to find a job, but will be able to come up with many theories as to why you can’t.
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
A scapegoat is better than plausible deniability.
Well, as long as we’re talking food …
Never trust a skinny chef.
“You CAN* have enough guns…you CAN’T have enough ammunition.”
– HokieGomer
*This in no way is an endorsement NOT to buy another gun, just the fact that at some point you have a gun for each hand. If ammo is short, you are in Barney.
“Never poke a bear in the eye with a stick, break that stick in half, and try to poke him in the other eye.” – HokieGomer
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
Always give them a estimated time to finish that is 5 times what you will actually need to complete the task.
When life hands you lemons, drink whiskey.
Huffing shampoo residue only gets you high if you have Joe Biden number of brain cells left.
It is best to have an unwritten rule to never write down any rules.
“LEEROY JENKINS!!!”
LIfe is short…. eat the dessert first.
small change can often be found under sofa cushions.
If you find you’re riding a dead horse…. dismount
And start beating it.
Where I work they’d form a committee to study how to make dead horses more productive.
In a diverse and inclusive manner I hope.
Where I work, it’s a cooking class.
There are no dumb questions…. but there are loads of inquisitive idiots.
Sometimes it is good to remember a Russian Proverb, “Better is the enemy of good enough”.
Don’t… just don’t…
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
Happiness is a warm gun.
Keep courting your wife after you marry her.
Now these are words of wisdom.
If you’re ever asked, ‘Who would you pick if you could speak with anyone either alive or dead?’ Pick the live one.
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
If you save up all the ones you can’t open, put them in a bag and leave them in your desk for that jerk to steal, it’s hilarious.
Mom to kids:
“Don’t be the reason someone makes a rule or a sign”
Never cross a Clinton when their interests are at stake.
Never get into a Land Rover war in Asia.
Life is too short to fret over the one pistachio that won’t open. What other wisdom have the years taught you?
Next time put up a struggle so they won’t think it is suicide, cause it wasn’t. — Jeffrey Epstein