“…so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
My Lawyer: “Your honor, this witness is clearly biased. He is a well-known anti-catite. We move to strike.” (I whisper to my lawyer)
My Lawyer: “Er…move to strike with a newspaper repeatedly.” (I nod in agreement while staring threatingly at dog)
“Lord get ready, I’m going to help a whole lot of people find you real quick.”
“They may not be scared of cuffs, they may not fear the gun, but they’ll start praying quick, when they learn I’m on the run”.
“…to tell the troof, the whole troof and nothing but the troof. So help me God.”
So help me dog.
AlpoKennelrationMightydogKibbelsBluebuffaloOlroy… SQUIRREL!!!!
“…so that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, in heaven and on earth and under the earth, and every tongue confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father.”
The ASPCA Complete Dog Care Manual by Dr. Bruce Fogle:
Read it – Learn it
Don’t break in half! Give me the whole snack! So help me God!
“You are to be my holy people. So do not eat the meat of an animal torn by wild beasts; throw it to the dogs.”
Happy thought — This dog will be sworn in as President of the United States before Hillary is.
Dog:
“I sure would like to hump me some Rodham Thigh about right now.”
“So it is Rin-Tin-Tin; so let it be done.”
“But I would not be convicted by a jury of my Pyranees.”
“Where did you apprehend the suspect?”
“Roof”
“How did the takedown go?”
“Ruff”
“No further questions, Your Honor.”
“The case of U.S. v. DamnCat is now in session. Call the first witness.”
My Lawyer: “Your honor, this witness is clearly biased. He is a well-known anti-catite. We move to strike.”
(I whisper to my lawyer)
My Lawyer: “Er…move to strike with a newspaper repeatedly.”
(I nod in agreement while staring threatingly at dog)
Their Lawyer: “Well, OK, he’s not so much an eyewitness as a seeing-eye witness.”
Their Lawyer: “Once and for all, I put it to you: Who’s a good boy?”
“Lord get ready, I’m going to help a whole lot of people find you real quick.”
“They may not be scared of cuffs, they may not fear the gun, but they’ll start praying quick, when they learn I’m on the run”.
Turns out the court clerk was dyslexic, totally confusing the witness.
Defendant whispers to Lawyer: “They warned me this breed could turn on you.”
(stolen from Gary Larson)
“Fauci’s the defendant? Oh yeah! Let’s do this!”
At least the dog won’t testilie.