M&M’s To Make ‘Inclusive’ Candy Featuring More Masculine Female Characters, Male Character With Anxiety
National File | 1/20/2022 | Tom Pappert
Today Mars, Inc., the company behind those bags of M&M’s, has announced that the sugar coated chocolates are going woke.
Specifically, they’re making the female candy characters more masculine in a bid to make the sweet treats “inclusive.”
Straight Line of the Day: Candies that could show more emotion: …
Candies that could show more emotion: …
OMG, Henry!
Defintately Milk Duds…they are such duds. Should rename them Milk Dorks.
Candies That Could Show More Emotion:
Fruitier Skittles
Candies That Could Show More Emotion:
Snickerers.
Candies That Could Show More Emotion:
Her, she’s having another breakdown.
Candies That Could Show More Emotion:
Reese’s Going to Pieces.
…by Patsy Cline!
Twizzlers will now be called Tranzzlers, the candy with a surprise.
Could “Almond Joy” become even more intensely ecstatic?
Yes! In a relationship with Laffy Taffy!
I think Jujy Fruits could actually dial it back a little.
Candies that could show more emotion: …
but some are hard.
Candies that could show more emotion: …
by melting in your hand and not in your mouth.
Candies that could show more emotion: …
but that would assume they are sentient.
Airheads should show more anger at having been named after AOC
” I am ashamed to admit that I am an “EATMORE” bar after people badgered anorexic victims with my name..oh the horror “
Nerds
The bi-polar Smarties.
(Canadian and U.S. ones are entirely different)
Mounds