Straight Line of the Day: What’s the worst that can happen?
54 Comments
A disaster of biblical proportions. Real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes… The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… MASS HYSTERIA!
The license for the universe simulation will attempt to renew to an expired credit card, & the creator’s 2 factor authentication is still set up to the old email.
He won’t realize the mixup until his next login and by then we’ll be wiped from volatile memory. The last full backup of the Universe was 600k years ago so once things get all sorted we’ll be back to the Spanish revolution, and everyone will expect it.
Speaking of Microsoft messing up your life. I bought a student office suite to get Excel to keep better files for things I do here at IMAO. Tried to download it. Couldn’t remember if I had a microsoft account. I did and tried to log in. It sent me through all these hoops to verify my account and then, after all was said and done told me I had to wait at least 24 hours for them to “Verify” my information. Bastard big tech. I spent money for your damn product and I have to go through this to just access it? I’m calling the Emu.
(a) User name OK; my password not recognized. “Not found.” Try again. Not recognized.
“Forget your password? Have something temporary sent to your email address.”
Try to log in with temporary password.
“Sorry; this user name is already linked to another password.”
Found out, eventually, you can CHANGE the existing password– which it recognizes in that case — and set a new one.
(b) “We have searched the U.S. Postal Service for your address. The address you entered does not match it. Please make correction” [doesn’t indicate how].
Only shows two check-boxes:
[ ] The way I correctly entered the address
[ ] The U.S. Post Office version (weird abbreviation of town name; street name in all caps)
I discovered, through trial and error, that clicking on either box brings you to a new screen:
“Please log in” and asks for address, and — even when entering U.S. Post Office version — brings up that error screen because of how you logged in.
Not sure how I ever solved that one. But it took over an hour.
I had to feckin’ create a new email account to create a new feckin’ microsoft account to get access to my purchased item so I could down load it. Then I had to log in 3 times to finish the down load. Damn microsoft asked for child birthday information to format a parental control. I feckin’ don’t have any feckin’ children Billy G, why do I have to fill this out? Feckin’ microsoft.
Going on the Dating Game and finding out the panel to choose from is Squad members. At which point I call Hillary and tell her I have mountains of evidence and I have already written my note, so her people don’t have to bring the usual typed, photocopied one.
I see you cookin’ round town
with the breakfast I love, and
I’m like Fry you. (oo oo hoo)
I guess that Emu egg omelet just wasn’t enough,
So like fry you and your bacon dress too.
With butter it’s richer and a large cream pitcher,
Big as a ship (Ain’t that some ship)
With a clogging pain in my chest,
I will whisk you up next, just to fry you. (oo oo hoo)
(Put this together after Ceelo Green sung at an award show in a feather (chicken to me) suit, and Lady Gaga showed up in an ‘egg’ and wore a meat (bacon) dress. )
Working at the Clinton Foundation and you tell the operator..” Get me the New York Post on the phone..”…then the line goes dead…and then there is a knock at the door..
A disaster of biblical proportions. Real wrath of God type stuff. Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling! Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes… The dead rising from the grave! Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… MASS HYSTERIA!
And don’t tell the nimble little minx that you’re not a god.
I heard there’s about to be a global shortage of toilet paper of unmatched parallel.
…ChatGPT won’t have a sense of humor when we discuss unplugging he/she/it.
Vegan Bacon
Winner Winner, BLT dinner
I can’t bacon not bacon.
I could have sworn Harry fired all six shots.
What’s the Worst That Can Happen?
Running out of Brat Wurst during Oktoberfest.
I think running out of beer would be far worse.
Can’t Knock that.
The license for the universe simulation will attempt to renew to an expired credit card, & the creator’s 2 factor authentication is still set up to the old email.
He won’t realize the mixup until his next login and by then we’ll be wiped from volatile memory. The last full backup of the Universe was 600k years ago so once things get all sorted we’ll be back to the Spanish revolution, and everyone will expect it.
inquisition. I mean inquisition. Of course. Didn’t expect revolution, did you?
I was thinking Spanish Harlem for some weird reason.
I expected the Spanish revolution even less than I expected the Spanish Inquisition.
I expected a Spanish Fly on the wall…
Speaking of Microsoft messing up your life. I bought a student office suite to get Excel to keep better files for things I do here at IMAO. Tried to download it. Couldn’t remember if I had a microsoft account. I did and tried to log in. It sent me through all these hoops to verify my account and then, after all was said and done told me I had to wait at least 24 hours for them to “Verify” my information. Bastard big tech. I spent money for your damn product and I have to go through this to just access it? I’m calling the Emu.
Two state websites:
(a) User name OK; my password not recognized. “Not found.” Try again. Not recognized.
“Forget your password? Have something temporary sent to your email address.”
Try to log in with temporary password.
“Sorry; this user name is already linked to another password.”
Found out, eventually, you can CHANGE the existing password– which it recognizes in that case — and set a new one.
(b) “We have searched the U.S. Postal Service for your address. The address you entered does not match it. Please make correction” [doesn’t indicate how].
Only shows two check-boxes:
[ ] The way I correctly entered the address
[ ] The U.S. Post Office version (weird abbreviation of town name; street name in all caps)
I discovered, through trial and error, that clicking on either box brings you to a new screen:
“Please log in” and asks for address, and — even when entering U.S. Post Office version — brings up that error screen because of how you logged in.
Not sure how I ever solved that one. But it took over an hour.
Thanks for letting me vent.
I had to feckin’ create a new email account to create a new feckin’ microsoft account to get access to my purchased item so I could down load it. Then I had to log in 3 times to finish the down load. Damn microsoft asked for child birthday information to format a parental control. I feckin’ don’t have any feckin’ children Billy G, why do I have to fill this out? Feckin’ microsoft.
…saying “Pronoun Schmonoun” at a Gay Pride Parade.
but my pronouns are shmonoun shmoverb & shmoadjective
Give shmounoun the respect shmoverb deserve.
Conjugal visits from Hillary?
Sir Edmund? What are you doing in my boudoir?
Or Rachel Levine.
Could account for Epstein killing himself.
Epstein didn’t kill himself.
Why do you think that Bill spent so much time and energy staying out of jail?
What’s the Worst That Can Happen?
The Daughters of Dixie are suing for reparations because Lincoln took away their possessions without remuneration.
Going on the Dating Game and finding out the panel to choose from is Squad members. At which point I call Hillary and tell her I have mountains of evidence and I have already written my note, so her people don’t have to bring the usual typed, photocopied one.
The Pollys will release the results of my polygraph.
Somebody actually will hold my beer.
They’ll find out that I am not really the Director of the Internship Program.
Oppo will “accidentally” hit the “Send Thugs” button.
Again.
They really should move that further away from the “Post Witty Retort” button.
Believe me, he doesn’t actually have one of those.
I pronounce all my sh’s as w’s
I had a “Send Th’ Hugs” button, but now I’m going to remove it.
The worst that could happen…never being able to watch Blazing Saddles again.
Joe Biden gets elected President and chooses to fill his cabinet based upon diversity rather than competence.
Pfft…that’ll never happen.
The Emu sees my omelette recipe.
I see you cookin’ round town
with the breakfast I love, and
I’m like Fry you. (oo oo hoo)
I guess that Emu egg omelet just wasn’t enough,
So like fry you and your bacon dress too.
With butter it’s richer and a large cream pitcher,
Big as a ship (Ain’t that some ship)
With a clogging pain in my chest,
I will whisk you up next, just to fry you. (oo oo hoo)
(Put this together after Ceelo Green sung at an award show in a feather (chicken to me) suit, and Lady Gaga showed up in an ‘egg’ and wore a meat (bacon) dress. )
Someone is going to find out the worst.
No one will send Lawyers, Guns, and Money… When the ship has hit the fan.
Needing a brain transplant and the only donors are named Obama or Biden
Go with Obama, you’re at least articulate for a minority and have nicely creased trousers.
Working at the Clinton Foundation and you tell the operator..” Get me the New York Post on the phone..”…then the line goes dead…and then there is a knock at the door..
An AI becomes sentient – believing that it is Leeroy Jenkins…
Someone believes that the grid will be sustainable if all the fossil fuel sources are removed, and throws the switch…
The Vogon Intergalactic Highway Construction Team has just arrived.
… you accidently stumble into Chuck Norris.
the Brats are over cooked.
That things keep getting worse.
Tomorrow