Every once in awhile I think to myself “self, you should write something”… And then I read Iowahawk and Dave Burge reaches out from his blog and slaps me hard and nasty and says “take that you little bitch!” It’s kind of like some homo sitting around his basement with an electric guitar thinking he can play…and then listening to John McLaughlin… We just stand in awe…
Well, mainly because there aren’t many conservative writers who go off their nut and make people laugh like you and Harvey do (and the Basil Historian, Crazy Spacemonkey, Nightmare Cadet and the Non-blogging Rightwingduck) – and people like Iowahawk. Oh, and Rachel Lucas makes me laugh, too, but she isn’t a conservative. She’s “in de pen dent.”
Of course, then there’s people who rip heads off and stuff them up asses or all the one-liner experts here who reduce commenting to a one-sentence art form. I’m working on it but it’s pretty nigh unreachable for me and other engineers. On the flip side, there are completely sane philosophers here who have trouble being funny ’cause they’re so serious all the time, seanmahair. Not to mention certain Greeks who have their tongue stuck sideways in their cheeks and a certain way with words.
“If your canoe springs a leak, drill a bigger hole to let the water to drain out.” – Arapazowee (extinct tribe)”
And AReidPelosi tribe, apparently, if this “stimulus” bill is any indication.
According to Websters:
“STIMULUS: something that rouses or incites to activity: as a: incentive b: stimulant 1 c: an agent (as an environmental change) that directly influences the activity of a living organism or one of its parts (as by exciting a sensory organ or evoking muscular contraction or glandular secretion) ”
So THAT’S why they have hundreds of millions in sex stuff in the bill! It all makes sense now!
And to think, during the Clinton years we kicked out a Surgeon General for saying we should teach masterbation in high school. (Considering she looked like a black Janet Reno, I guess this is her sum total of knowledge on the subject). As one viewer faxed to Dennis Miller at the time, “If we fail to teach this in high school, we’ll be graduating students who masterbate at an 8th grade level”.
Well, that would explain what we’ve seen democratic politics the last … um, forever. Was there ever a gap between Jim Crow and post-1968 acid trip nonsense? Were they EVER sane?
Wow, this is the gift that keeps on giving when you click on the links from IowaHawk.
“Now Al Gore has uncovered yet another generic African proverb of universal application: ‘There’s an African proverb that says, ‘If you want to go quick, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.’ We have to go far quickly,” former Vice President Al Gore told a packed, rapt house at the Benedict Music Tent Wednesday.”
So in corporate-speak, the lesson learned here is:
Quick = Alone
Far = Together
Far Quickly = Must travel alone yet together = Kill traveling companion (thus both alone and together at the same time) and eat their body Donner-Party-Style along the way instead of pulling into Maid-Rite.
Don’t judge another until you have waited an hour in his emergency room for free health care because you also send your insurance money to relatives in another country.
With six guys, two shovels, and a truck full of cold mix, you can fill a pothole using only an alderman and $100. — Ancient Chicago Proverb
I’m too serious Jimmy, you wound me. Truly, blood is seeping onto the carpet as I type, creating a pool…….wait there’s lightening and now LIFE has begun in my tiny little pool of bio hazard waste. It’s twue, evolution is twue…….
“A wise man offers his millet to be shared among the village, for his gift will be repaid a thousand times in gratitude. A wiser man takes somebody else’s millet and offers it to the village. Guess what? Same gratitude, and extra millet for good ol’ numero uno.”
Ethiopian
HMMM… considering our President perhaps this should have been Kenyan?
I would never wound you, seanmahair. But I do worry about you – and all people in Kansas – who have to listen to the phrase “You’re not in Kansas anymore” while Obama is President.
We’re all just hoping he cabinetizes our governor. Kathie goes to Washington sounds really good to most of the people of Kansas. She is an embarrassment to the state and we hope she will do the same for “His Royal Hindedness” as well.
Great to have you commenting again, I miss you when you’re gone.
#13 Jimmy – “wounded warrior”.
That reminds me of a couple of great charities: the Wounded Warrior Project. http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/, and the Warrior Foundation, http://www.warriorfoundation.com/
If you have been looking for worthy charities with no PC BS, these fit the bill.
I’ll be funny next time. OK, I’ll be as close to funny as an engineer can be.
Brilliant! Now I don’t have to feel all left out at the UN meetings; I’ll be all enlightened and stuff. Hey, if Gore and Hill can quote Africa, so can I! Take that! lefties!
…because you can’t leave comments on most post there.
Yeah, those proverbs are hilarious.
Both blogs are on my everyday reading list.
post=posts. oops.
…and by can’t leave comments, I meant at Iowahawk, not Big Hollywood.
Sheech.
Have a good day.
The words “Senator Al Franken” popped into my head after reading that. But the Samoan one killed me.
Every once in awhile I think to myself “self, you should write something”… And then I read Iowahawk and Dave Burge reaches out from his blog and slaps me hard and nasty and says “take that you little bitch!” It’s kind of like some homo sitting around his basement with an electric guitar thinking he can play…and then listening to John McLaughlin… We just stand in awe…
Well, mainly because there aren’t many conservative writers who go off their nut and make people laugh like you and Harvey do (and the Basil Historian, Crazy Spacemonkey, Nightmare Cadet and the Non-blogging Rightwingduck) – and people like Iowahawk. Oh, and Rachel Lucas makes me laugh, too, but she isn’t a conservative. She’s “in de pen dent.”
Of course, then there’s people who rip heads off and stuff them up asses or all the one-liner experts here who reduce commenting to a one-sentence art form. I’m working on it but it’s pretty nigh unreachable for me and other engineers. On the flip side, there are completely sane philosophers here who have trouble being funny ’cause they’re so serious all the time, seanmahair. Not to mention certain Greeks who have their tongue stuck sideways in their cheeks and a certain way with words.
It’s too early, I need coffee with _______ in it.
“If your canoe springs a leak, drill a bigger hole to let the water to drain out.” – Arapazowee (extinct tribe)”
And AReidPelosi tribe, apparently, if this “stimulus” bill is any indication.
According to Websters:
“STIMULUS: something that rouses or incites to activity: as a: incentive b: stimulant 1 c: an agent (as an environmental change) that directly influences the activity of a living organism or one of its parts (as by exciting a sensory organ or evoking muscular contraction or glandular secretion) ”
So THAT’S why they have hundreds of millions in sex stuff in the bill! It all makes sense now!
And to think, during the Clinton years we kicked out a Surgeon General for saying we should teach masterbation in high school. (Considering she looked like a black Janet Reno, I guess this is her sum total of knowledge on the subject). As one viewer faxed to Dennis Miller at the time, “If we fail to teach this in high school, we’ll be graduating students who masterbate at an 8th grade level”.
Well, that would explain what we’ve seen democratic politics the last … um, forever. Was there ever a gap between Jim Crow and post-1968 acid trip nonsense? Were they EVER sane?
I guess I will read Iowahawk. Can’t read Ace or Jawa now. Must be some jihad against mu.nu or something.
Wow, this is the gift that keeps on giving when you click on the links from IowaHawk.
“Now Al Gore has uncovered yet another generic African proverb of universal application: ‘There’s an African proverb that says, ‘If you want to go quick, go alone. If you want to go far, go together.’ We have to go far quickly,” former Vice President Al Gore told a packed, rapt house at the Benedict Music Tent Wednesday.”
So in corporate-speak, the lesson learned here is:
Quick = Alone
Far = Together
Far Quickly = Must travel alone yet together = Kill traveling companion (thus both alone and together at the same time) and eat their body Donner-Party-Style along the way instead of pulling into Maid-Rite.
Don’t judge another until you have waited an hour in his emergency room for free health care because you also send your insurance money to relatives in another country.
With six guys, two shovels, and a truck full of cold mix, you can fill a pothole using only an alderman and $100. — Ancient Chicago Proverb
Wait, I’m confused. You have to teach masturbation?
I’m too serious Jimmy, you wound me. Truly, blood is seeping onto the carpet as I type, creating a pool…….wait there’s lightening and now LIFE has begun in my tiny little pool of bio hazard waste. It’s twue, evolution is twue…….
No wait …..it was just a bad light bulb.
Never mind.
If you replaced the light bulb, then you have seen the light! Behold it has lightened your heart also, oh wounded warrior.
“A wise man offers his millet to be shared among the village, for his gift will be repaid a thousand times in gratitude. A wiser man takes somebody else’s millet and offers it to the village. Guess what? Same gratitude, and extra millet for good ol’ numero uno.”
Ethiopian
HMMM… considering our President perhaps this should have been Kenyan?
I would never wound you, seanmahair. But I do worry about you – and all people in Kansas – who have to listen to the phrase “You’re not in Kansas anymore” while Obama is President.
I thought no one else knew Britny Fox.
The Mulleti quotes were entertaining say I.
We’re all just hoping he cabinetizes our governor. Kathie goes to Washington sounds really good to most of the people of Kansas. She is an embarrassment to the state and we hope she will do the same for “His Royal Hindedness” as well.
Great to have you commenting again, I miss you when you’re gone.
#7 Kent says:
“If we fail to teach this in high school, we’ll be graduating students who masterbate at an 8th grade level”.
I’m still laughing over that one. I must admit, I didn’t see that one coming.
So to speak.
The tawny kitten writhes before the white snake?????????????????????????
#13 Jimmy – “wounded warrior”.
That reminds me of a couple of great charities: the Wounded Warrior Project. http://www.woundedwarriorproject.org/, and the Warrior Foundation, http://www.warriorfoundation.com/
If you have been looking for worthy charities with no PC BS, these fit the bill.
I’ll be funny next time. OK, I’ll be as close to funny as an engineer can be.
(sigh)
Yearning for the days when a writer/speaker could be:
a. Humorous and
b. Not vulgar
Maybe it’s just too boring, and too challenging anymore to be creative AND clean…getting too old for this brave new world…time for a nap.
Brilliant! Now I don’t have to feel all left out at the UN meetings; I’ll be all enlightened and stuff. Hey, if Gore and Hill can quote Africa, so can I! Take that! lefties!
From the book of Proverbs: Even a fool if he shutteth his lips is esteemed a wise man…..
Because IowaHawk never blogs!