Random Thoughts

If the fear is government health care will do nothing while we’re dying, it doesn’t really help to name it after Ted Kennedy.

Get Rich Slow Scheme: Save just one dollar a year and in a million years you’ll be rich! (not adjusting for inflation)

Wife got me the stylish jeans with the pre-worn marks. I feel like such a tool.

I e-mailed the president and got back a response threatening my family if I didn’t keep quiet. I think it was a form letter.

I don’t know how people can just go about their daily lives knowing a collision can theoretically be found for SHA-1 in 2^63 operations.

Why did the military stop using flamethrowers? To be a credible threat, our enemies need to know we’ll set them on fire.

Once Obama’s magnificence eliminates all our problems, brooms standing up by themselves are going to be the lead news stories.

Who ever gave David Brooks the ideas he’s smart? His dry cleaner? Whoever is out there convincing useless people they’re smart, please stop it.

“Jewed” is a recognized Scrabble word? I thought that was a term Cartman made up.

17 Comments

  1. What’s up with the pre-worn marks on jeans? What’s next, shirts with ring around the collar? Socks with a hole in the toe? Shoes with the tread worn down? Underwear with skidders already in ’em? Society is falling down all around us!

  2. Why did the military stop using flamethrowers? To be a credible threat, our enemies need to know we’ll set them on fire.

    I don’t know why they stop using flamethrowers, but I’d love to have one for the hood of my SUV.

  3. I imagine the military stopped using flame throwers for the same reason they switched to 9mm in their pistols. Useless people, who were told they were smart, decided it would be a good idea. More proof that we need to tell useless people that they are useless and to go away.

  4. Wife got me the stylish jeans with the pre-worn marks. I feel like such a tool.

    You’re not wearing them, are you?

    Holy cats, I despise the very notion of “stylish” jeans with pre-worn marks.

    Other “stylish” products:

    * Pre-used dog. Comes with broken leg and anger issues.
    * Pre-used gun. Blows up in your face when you pull trigger.
    * Pre-used liberal slave. Comes with broken vocal chords (from chanting “Yes, we can” over and over).
    * Pre-used Soviet car. Or any Soviet car, for that matter.

  5. Actually, the military just switched to a better flamethrower. Instead of shooting out a tongue of flame endangering friendlies as well as the operator, they now use a gizmo that holds four “cartridges” filled with jellied gasoline and an igniter. It shoots out the cartridge, which goes SPLAT! on the target, and ignites. No fuss, no mess, just lots of crisped zombies.

  6. Stylish Jeans With Pre-worn Marks

    My ex-wife tried that once back in the ’90s. Note that I said “ex-wife”.

    Not that I’m suggesting that course of action, mind you… but it was a logical outgrowth of the stylish pre-worn jeans.

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