Don’t let anyone tell you what you can’t do, whether they be a physicist, a psychiatrist, or a police officer.
Archive of entries posted on 14th September 2009
Frank Slogan Ideas
So, SarahK and I started watchin Mad Men
FRANK SLOGAN IDEAS
* Hunt’s Ketchup: “When for some reason you can’t get Heinz.”
* Taco Bell: “It’s like Mexican food.”
* Maglite: “Just try bashing in someone’s skull with our competitor’s flashlight.”
* Windows Vista: “The future is..#&..X$E.. Unrecoverable slogan error 0x63F5E1.”
* Arby’s: “It’s like food.”
* RC Cola: “The Switzerland of the cola wars.”
* Spam: “Release your inner hobo.”
* Coors Light: “When you want alcohol and you don’t care what the delivery system is.”
* Toyota Prius: “Still not as gay as riding a bike.”
* Band-Aid: “It’s a brand name, dammit!”
* Coffee-mate: “As seen on Mythbusters.”
* Chips Ahoy!: “Betcha you’ll bite a chip… which will be nice respite from the dry, flavor-less cookie.”
* Bic Pens: “Can never find a pen? Try the @#$% store!”
* Hostess Twinkies: “Expiration Date: When the sun swallows the earth.”
Random Thoughts
Obama is stupid. When do we get a new president?
Women news anchors? When there’s breaking news she won’t be able to tell us what’s going on because she’ll be crying from the stress.
The stupidest part of the liberal is their brain.
I think the most fundamental principle any liberal has that guides all his political actions is the sincere belief that he’s very smart.
It will be great for Obama after 2010 because then his complaints about Republicans blocking him won’t seem so silly.
More people need to speak out against the earth. We never chose this planet and it’s kinda mindless to pretend we like it so much. One day we’ll find a planet without earthquakes and tsunamis and we’ll all say, “I can’t believe we used to like Earth. It really sucks.”
I think Obama’s biggest problem is that he hasn’t been on TV enough. I’m glad he’s going to remedy that.
In a free society, having the government decide what your kids should know will always make public schools a square peg shoved in a round hole.
I’m fine with my kids getting indoctrinated by Obama as long as they don’t tell my wife they exist.
Liberals are very smart and if you disagree with them they will bite you.
If you ever saw Garofalo talk about politics, it does always look like she’s just on the edge of savagely biting the person nearest.
“I don’t agree with what you say, but I’ll fight to the death for your right to say it. And then I’ll bite you.”
Sometimes I want to beat myself up because I get jealous of how awesome I am.
I heard that during the vetting process Van Jones bit off someone’s finger and that still didn’t disqualify him. Also, he urinated on one of the forms, but no where in the rules does it say you can’t do that.
Maybe we’re overreacting. People just tend to get suspicious of black Vans.
Not only suspicious of Van Jones, but also of Czars Truck Smith, Boat Collins, and Segway McGillicutty. At least Obama didn’t rehire Scooter Libby.
HOLY CRAP! RAINFORESTS ARE WET!!!
Obama Speech: “The time for action is cow! …D’oh, I messed that up!”
Obama Speech: “You can’t trust doctors. They make you pee in a cup and throw it on you. I saw it in a movie.”
Obama Speech: “With my plan, nothing will change for you and your doctor. You will still both be mammals.”
Obama Speech: “What is this ‘FaceBook’? And why do they keep irresponsibly publishing the words of Sarah Palin?”
Great. Now everyone is going to start shouting “Liar!” during Obama’s speeches.
To be clear, no one is disputing that Obama was lying, just that was not the proper way to point it out?
Obama’s health care plan will be deficit neutral because we’re going to steal everything from Canada.
YOU LIE! (sorry; just had this feeling that somewhere Obama was talking)
Is it just me, or does Pelosi actually look less creepy in Joker makeup?
If Tea Party protesters aren’t racist, then how come they’ve only protested black presidents since the stimulus?
Bible Irony Alert: Numbers 12:3. Traditionally, Moses is said to have written the Book of Numbers.
Half the world’s problems are caused by religion. The other half by lack of religion.
POINT OF ORDER: I can think Kanye West is an unbelievable jackass and not be a racist, right? I’m just confused on the rules of criticizing someone who is black (who is not a conservative). Maybe white people do stuff like that all the time at the VMAs and I just don’t notice because of my racism. Also, I never watch the VMAs which would also contribute to lack of notice.
So should we blame Joe Wilson for Serena Williams’s and Kanye West’s outburts? I certainly do. If you start shouting at the president, soon nobody knows when to shut up.
People are right; it’s Bush’s fault. If he just had his secret police open fire on protesters, we wouldn’t have these problems today.
NEW POINT OF ORDER: Am I a racist if I get concerned if Obama invites 19-year-old Taylor Swift over for a beer summit?
Obama: “We’re going to have to keep open Gitmo as it’s the only place large and isolated enough to contain Kanye’s ego.”
Kanye West is such a jackass than even Obama has better sense to be his friend.
I’m Back!
I would like to give a special thanks to Mr. Right for guest blogging (and thanks for the gift!). He was very funny and you should probably consider visiting him at his blog if he has one. Also thanks to Harvey and Basil for keeping things going as well (and a special thanks to Basil for keeping IMAO safe.
Now I guess I should think of posting something. Anything happen in the news while I was gone? I heard someone interrupted Obama during a speech shouting, “You lie! I’m going to shove this ball down your throat since Beyonce was robbed!” And then there were a bunch of racists who descended on DC to say racist things like how they don’t like Obama’s health care plan. Anyway, I’m confused. I hope Obama gives another speech to explain things to me.
26 and 43
There are a couple of birthdays today of people important to me. But important for way different reasons. And in way different worlds.
In real life, my daughter turns 26 today.
And, if my online life, one of the bloggers for whom I have the utmost respect turns 43 today: yes, Harvey, we remembered.
Harvey may or may not have a post up today. Update: he does. And, his last one at his blog was a real serious one for 9/11. So, I’m unsure if I should wish him happy birthday here, or at his blog. I may do both.
But, now, it’s your problem. To figure out how to tell Harvey “happy birthday.” I’m sure you’ll think of something.