Chapter One: A Study in Scarlett Johansson
Chapter Two: The Mysterious Case of CornPop
Chapter Three: Joe Biden: The Hound of the Baskin-Robbins
Chapter Four: A New Hope
Chapter Five: The Adventure of the Copper Breeches
Chapter Six: The Maltese Millennium Falcon
Chapter Seven: The Big Sheep
“Oppo Breaks Down the Door to the Wrong Place Again “
The door started it. You all saw it!
That’s his story and he’s sticking to it
Chapter Eight: If the interns don’t fit you must acquit.
And Then There Were Pun
“A Squatter Is Caught While Squatting (Awkward)”
“Oppo-ration Petticoat”
“Oppo Has a Mysterious Body-Cam Malfunction Again”
Starting the day with a feather of the Emu that bit you
Chapter 8: The Big Sleep – The Biden Years
Lies, damned lies, and statistics (The totally made up tale of how I padded my resume)
Dude, where my pants?
A tale of an ambitious ambiguous typo
“The Big Wooden Table Round by the Station Is Indicted for Police Brutality”
Chapter 9: Mongo Goes Rogue and Does Chippendales
Chapter 10: Sweet Home Alabama Where The Skies Are All Blue And The
Chicks Wear Stars & Bars Bikinis.
Damn! That’s a hairy (noun)!
Mad Libs anyone?
It IS a children’s book after all.
Chapter 23: It’s Not Assault if the “Victim” Is a Hippie
Chapter 11- That Was a Tip, Not a Bribe
…or “In for a Penny, In for a Pounding “
Chapter 5. Oppo the Old Grey Elephant Has a Birthday, and Gets Pulled Over
Chapter 86 … well, you know.
Chapter 77: Kids Will Be Kids
If you don’t eat your meat, you can’t have any pudding!
How can you have any pudding if you don’t eat your meat?
Oppo the Coppo’s Sargent Boss:
“Cut the crap rookie Oppo or I’ll have you moppo the entire office…and no, you can’t wear your Dirty Harry 44 magnum while doing it.”
Sergeant’s Secretary: “He’s after your head today. You’d better not go in there.”
Oppo’s Boss: “You’re a loose cannon, Oppo! You don’t fit in! You gotta play by the rules!”
Oppo’s Partner {two weeks from retirement}: “Oh, I’m getting too old for this.”
Oppo’s Criminal Arch-Enemy: “We’re still not so different, you and I. Just on different sides of the badge.”
D.A.: “I’ll have your badge for this!”
Corrupt Rich Guy: “Why don’t you play ball? There’s someone else in your department who already is.”
Corrupt Rich Guy:
“Looks like I’m going to need more tax shelters now. All I was doing was trying to find one when I found out the Dems were going to try and have me arrested.”
FBI Woman: “So what makes you tick, Oppo? Why did you get into this business?”
“I’m not sure if you’re interested, but we’re going after the Mika twins – want to come along?”
Biden gets arrested in his Hello Kitty underwear, a touching story.
What’s really cooking in those Easy-Bake Ovens.
Elmo gets the choke hold, Kermit gets prosthetic legs and little Susie gets counseling.
What’s really in those Easy – Bake ovens?
Clifford the Big Red Dog:
“I not only killed Snoopy but I’m baking him for my Vietnamese neighbors.”
Testing 8 9 10