The Republicans now need to keep the Democrats from getting sixty votes in the Senate so they can pass Obamacare. They might be able to do it, but just in case they can’t, here are some other suggestions to stop the Obamacare bill:
FRANK SUGGESTIONS TO STOP OBAMACARE IN THE SENATE
* Do an action filibuster. That’s where the Republicans hit the Democrats over and over with metal folding chairs to prevent a vote. It actually takes 65 votes to break this filibuster, which the Democrats are unlikely to organize, especially if they’re dizzy from being hit in the head with chairs.
* Do the Dark Ceremony. This will summon the restless spirits of the Founding Fathers who will then melt the faces of all who subvert liberty.
* Steal the bill and hide it. They can’t vote for a bill if they can’t find it. Make sure to hide it some place the Democrats would never look, like under the Constitution.
* Draw a line down the center of the Senate chamber and declare that the Republican side is now its own separate country. Preemptively attack neighboring hostile country.
* Add an amendment to the bill that the first one in front of the death panels is doddering old Harry Reid.
* As the vote is about to happen, play the sound of a police siren. Then all the Democrats will quickly grab their stash and flee.
* Weakly fight the bill, but let it get passed. Then reveal you put the “Obamacare” label on a bill authorizing the destruction of the sun. Explain that one to your constituents, Democrats!
* There’s always the old standby of getting the vote delayed because of a Mothra attack, but since the last three controversial votes were delayed because of Mothra, the Democrats might start figuring out she’s controlled by the Republicans.
* Carefully explain to the Democrats about liberty and individualism. That should distract them while we set all their cars on fire. WOLVERINES!
I wouldn’t be too sure about that, it’s not like they feel the need to read bills before voting for them.
The Romans originated this debating technique in 133BC when Tiberius Gracchus tried a landgrab as part of his campaign for election as tribune. Lacking metal folding chairs, they broke up the Senator’s benches and beat him to death with the fragments.
instead of metal chairs, can we rips their arms off and beat them with their own arms while yelling “stop hitting yourself?”
I vote for war.
I could suggest “ripping-off their heads and shoving them up their asses” but I wont. That would be plagiarism. But it would be a good plan.
This will do damage to most of the republicans, too. Careful with the dark magic.
* Carefully explain to the Democrats about liberty and individualism. That should distract them while we set all their cars on fire. WOLVERINES!
Why would any self respecting Democrat have a car? Hey, I made a funny! “Self Respecting Democrat”!!! Ha, Ha, Ha! I’m killing myself!
If the whole Senate is tarred and feathered, then they won’t be able to get the 60 votes. Just sayin’.
So this health care bill comes down to mathematics? adding up votes? Surely there is something in the realm of Science! that overrides basic adding!
I thought that was Biggus Dickus (coincidentally, also the ancestor of Rep. Alan Grayson).
Are you sure they won’t accidentally think ‘Mothra’ was John Murtha? That plan could backfire. I suggest Godzilla instead, since Democrats are repelled by anything with ‘God’ in the name.
Are tactical nukes off the table? If not, nuke the entire site from orbit. It’s the only way to be sure.
I have already stated my idea many times.
Take all of the worst Democrat offenders. Crucify them along all roads leading to Washington D.C. as a warning.
* Do the Dark Ceremony.
There would be no “senators” left.
I just wish there was some mechanism whereby treason could be tried, you know like a court or something. That’s all gov’t does anymore, there is no good left they even attempt.
I’m somewhat dubious about this whole “Dark Ceremony” business. For one thing, the Founding Fathers would probably reduce most of Washington DC to smoldering rubble with their supernatural outrage — and that’d just give lefties yet another occasion to complain about widespread Real Terrorism™ coming on a daily basis from angry white Christian males. (As opposed to the fake so-called isolated incident of alleged “resistance” perpetrated by Major Johnny “Nadil” Hasan. Which was only done in response to being called a ‘hanky-head’, is absolutely positively nothing to be concerned about, and probably only even has the slightest teeniest flimsiest connection to Fundamentalist IslaHEY! Are those nachos? Can I have some?)
For another, the Ceremony would have no effect on Reid and Pelosi, as their faces are half-melted to begin with.
Revolt would be so much easier if we had Star Trek tech.
11:00 – take an early lunch.
11:05 – teleport to Washington, DC.
11:06-11:30 – use phasers to stun security forces around the Capital.
11:31-12:15 – use tri-corders to find and round up all liberal politicians, where ever they may try to hide.
12:16-12:45 – use combination of agonizers, mindmelds and/or Vulcan nerve pinches to effect necessary attitude adjustments.
12:46-12:55 – Reinstate Constitutional Representative Republic.
12:55-12:59 – use replicators to make Big Mac and fries for all participants.
1:00pm – teleport out. Back to work.
Or just nuke’em from orbit – it’s the only way to be sure.
* Add an amendment to the bill that the first ones in front of the death panels
is doddering old Harry Reidare all those Representatives, Citizens, and Non-Citizens that supported it.FIFY
I’m with Marco! Let’s go green and use recycled plastics for our crosses!
Simply get up on the floor and remind all the democrats about the time they tried to play kickball on the playground and got hurt, or the time they were bullied because they looked funny and were too afraid to fight back. It’s nearly impossible to vote for a bill when crying uncontrollably on the floor in the fetal position.
“Americans may go mad when they make laws; but they recover their reason when they disobey them.”
– G.K. Chesterton, What I Saw in America