Notice on Frank J.’s Stance on Sarah Palin

I’ve decided I need to shake things up at IMAO, so I’ve decided to hate Sarah Palin. I guess I was a little flummoxed on her resigning as governor, and now I’ve decided to run with that and turn it into full-blown irrational hatred. I can’t stand it any time she talks. I can’t stand it any time she posts to Facebook. I’m having trouble standing my own wife because she is also named Sarah (but that goes back a bit).

Sarah Palin is a dumb stupid who is going to destroy the Republican Party with her ignorance and not-reading-newspapersness. She’s going to teach our children that dinosaurs are thousands of years old which will make the unqualified for all the jobs in which knowing the correct age of dinosaurs is required. Also, she’s pro-earthquake.

So, I hate her and want her to go away. If you think I’m off base here, tell me in the comments. If you think I’m really off base, go around telling people how awful I am and that they should come visit IMAO to see how dumb and hateful I am and yell at me. And if they like Sarah Palin, tell them I think they’re stupid and should die.

56 Comments

  1. Personally, if we’re looking for smart Margaret Thatcher warrior-types, I’d support Malkin/Coulter or Coulter/Malkin.

    Either or both of those women would tear this country a new you know what!!

    I warned you about Palin not being well-read or knowledgeable about the federal government.

  2. Okay, in the past four comments, we’ve had Frank catching something from Andrew Sullivan, and getting the “overflow” from Charles Johnson. If this becomes one of _those_ comment streams, I’ve gotta go get popcorn…

  3. That’s it, I’m never reading this blog again! You can go and rot in your liberal filth-house of horrors!

    Is that what I was supposed to do? I’m hoping that this is all part of your plan to nuke the moon.

    PS. I didn’t really mean I wouldn’t read your blog again. Don’t cry.

  4. Have a special section ala Obie where you name the Sarahist person in the world
    Let slip that she’s head of the Tri Unilateralist Commission
    Accuse her of cycling with Chuck J
    Link her to the polar bear population explosion which is risking human lives

  5. Oh Frnak, after that awesome post earlier today about the Cheney campaign slogans, you go and post something like this. What are you trying to do, get an OBAMA Cabinet position or maybe a state-run-media lifetime appointment?

  6. Having now fully discussed with the Advisory Council of Elders the revealed wisdom set forth in the contents of your web log posting, I can now share a small part of their findings.

    Your reasoning is clear and ought to be uncontroversial, if our schools were in fact actual schools and not poisoned by forcing toddlers to memorize the Pledge of Allegiance. Mrs. Palin is clearly out to force the Republican Party out of Minority status, an act of extreme calculation on her part. The fly in the ointment for her is that as she drags the party kicking and screaming into the Majority, we may lose stalwarts like Lindsay Graham, Olympia Snowe, or even, in high-carbon irony, John McCain.

    You are right to oppose her.

    One wonders, however, why you have not called for her death? Is this now a site so wrapped in the cottony softness of political correctness that it cannot call down the fire?

  7. John McCain is a war hero and would have made winning against the Terrorists a priority. He’s also pretty good on spending contraint issues. He gets a seat at the table.

    Olympia Snow is a bit of a nitwit, but I don’t think we will get much better than her out of Maine.

    That brings us to Lindsy Graham cracker. He’s full of himself and stands for no principals other than the principal of compromise. The compromises of the past 20 years have incrementally led the nation to a sorry position. I cannot believe that we can’t do better than Lindsy in South Carolina. He deserves a primary challenge and I hope he gets one.

  8. Yeah, like Frank *hates* her about as much as he hates the conservative tongue in his conservative cheek.

    Why the hell DID she quit the governorship, anyway? (Ah… I was ‘gone’ then.) I would rather she had stayed the course, took Reagan lessons from Zombie Reagan, read all the history she could make time for, come out swinging every chance she got and proved to people she’s tougher than all the Democrat candidates put together. Now she looks weak, uncommitted, disconnected and a bit opportunistic. That comment she made the other day: “…if the American people will have me” doesn’t help, either.

    She’s just not going to get it done, guys and gals.

    So, is Frank trolling himself in jest, or is this break real (but exaggerated)?

  9. Frank! You are now officially shunned from your own website! Shunned on you! Another post like this one and the shunning shall be accompanied by smoting! Mr. Fred Thompson is not amused! I would securely lock up your rear end to keep your head from being shoved up it by Mr. Thompson!

  10. Oh my, this has you walking the same Northeast trail (or should that be Amtrak) as David Brooks. You really need to reflect. Perhaps you should nuke your own house just to prove how crazy you sound right now.

  11. So, basically your strategy is to insult your advertisers, alienate your readers, and drive your subscribers out of town on a very fast car. Who do you think you are, the New York Times or something?

  12. The thing with Palin trolls is that they’re genuinely afraid of her. Nobody really took Ron Paul serious because he’s so goofy looking. But the Darth Cheney crowd seriously believed he would and could cut the planet in half and send all of them into the sun if he was given the chance. They honestly believed he woke up in the morning and ate a big, heaping helping of evil for breakfast.

    Palin seems to gin up those same fears. It’s fun to watch their little brains do the blue screen of death every time she does something.

  13. I hate Sarah Palin for the same reason savages and cannibals hate explorers who tell them that their totem pole with the carved coconut for a head on it isn’t a real deity! And she has beautiful eyes, and her hair smells like cinnamon. Spit! Spit!

  14. As I scroll down pass the advertisement for Sarah Palin’s new book and past an ad for her recent interview I’m going to have to say that I completely agree. Finally. I thought I was alone in disliking her. Maybe I’d like her if she was a couple dozen years older. And she had an evil Spock beard. And she had a podcast called the Fred Thompson Show. But until her metamorphosis….

  15. OK, Frank, you don’t like Sarah Palin. You’re certainly entitled to your own opinion. I rather like what I’ve seen and read of her, and that’s my opinion. See how easy it is when you play with conservatives?

  16. Frank J is just jealous that Sarah P looks better in bike shorts than he does! Funny how Newsweek tries to make an light weight loser look more presidental by dressing him as Lincoln and tries to make a serious woman look less presidential by showing her legs. I don’t know if Sarah could save America but I am sure that “The One” intends to destroy it. Good thing we have an “independent press” or we would be in real trouble!

  17. This isn’t the way to artificialy boost you trafic for advertisement money. Next write an article about how Sarah Palin’s stances. Like SARAH PALIN not on board with the world getting HOT. or how she doesn’t have a platform on PORN. Those taglines will get you the traffic. And you won’t need to declair your livingroom Idaho’s 4th congretional district to recieve bogus stimulas funds.

  18. Sarah is an unusual woman. She is loyal to her family, yet she brought down the Alaska old boy’s network. She is polite and courteous, yet people are offended by whatever she says. She has the courage to face her fertility, while others avoid their own in myriad ways. Criticize her for what she lacks, if you wish, but she deserves support for what she has.

  19. Dont take the bait… frank is just distracting us from the real issues…. like his failure to make headway towards rocket launcher equipped dinos’s or Nuking the Sun. The real motivation for Franks dislike of Ms. Palin is that Frank knows she will get the Dino / Nuke the Moon thing taken care of quick, fast, and in a hurry.

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  21. Well, I’m stupid, but before I die I just have to say, “Gad! It’s refreshing to hear somebody talk straight (in a funny way) about their hatred of this woman, instead of using innuendo, smears, lies, and all that other indirect stuff that cowards** are using. Launch a rocket-armed T-rex at her — 5’ll’getya’10 that she, of all the pols out there (yes, she is a politican), can deal with it.”

    Also, you left out one BIG reason to hate her, but maybe I just spotted it because I’m an Olde Fartess: She’s YOUNG and she’s DOING WHAT WE BOOMERS SAID TO DO NOT WHAT WE ACTUALLY DID. That is unforgivable.

    Also, part dieux: Isn’t Todd gonna make an excellent First Dude in Washington?

    Go! Sarah, go!

    ** Chesterton, who was a journalist as well as a writer, in The Purple Wig: “It might truly be said of him, as for many journalists in authority, that his most familiar emotion was one of continuous fear; fear of libel actions, fear of lost advertisements, fear of misprints, fear of the sack [the British usage, meaning getting fired].” ‘Tis a partial list only, of course.

  22. Sorry–I’m on work break and in a silly mood, and FrankJ inspired me. I promise not to post another comment again (but still read the blog, of course!) for a whole month after this:

    Also, part whatever 4 is in French: There’s only one thing you can do when somebody launches a rocket-armed T-rex at you, and Sarah will know what it is: run away, call in an air strike, and get out the REALLY big casserole pans. (You have to marinate the meat almost a whole geologic epoch, but after that it’s really quite good; doesn’t taste at all like chicken…more like salamander, actually.)

    K, ai B gone 4 amonth nao. Thnxbai.

  23. This is pretty funny. You intentionally illustrating how ridiculous some people are, including some Republicans, who oppose Sarah Palin. Just about everyone I’ve talked who opposes Palin cannot give a rational reason, they just don’t like her personality but they cannot refute her on the issues. My fear is that a significant portion of the population and just about all of the mainstream media thinks like that.

  24. In fairness i think part of human soul gets torn and sent to hell each time it twitters or facebooks or even uses the terms in speaking or writing. I just sacrificed a part of my soul to bring you this warning.

  25. Palin is a true conservative voice. She will not make a good candidate but is an excellent voice for revving up the base and motivating them to action.
    Unlike the newly revealed LIberal Frank, {any trueth to the story Frank as a secret shrine to Olbermann in his closet?} Srah Palin will get people to actually punch hippies in their stupid faces as opposed to just talking about it. im know I’d punch a hippie for Sarah.

  26. It worked. I saw the twitter, and then came to the one line “I hate Sarah”, and then here. It worked. I came to see who would say such a thing. I’ve never been here before.
    Now I’ll go back to what I was doing…

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