100 Years Later Memoir

Mark Twain wrote a memoir he didn’t want published until a hundred years after his death (that’s this year). That was probably so he could speak candidly of people at his time without those people still being around to get their feelings hurt. I don’t know if that’s the same as talking about people behind their backs.

I might do the same thing. I’ll make a memoir that isn’t to be published until a hundred years after I die. Then, a hundred years later, people will be like, “I wonder what Frank J. had to say about his time; he was like the greatest person in all of history and took care of that big rock that used to orbit the Earth — I forget what it’s called.” But then they’ll read the memoir and be like, “Hey! This is actually trashing us!” That’s because I invented a time machine (I’m a super genius), went a hundred years in the future, found out all about the people from then, and went back to my normal time and wrote a scathing critique of society a hundred years from now. Then, they’ll be angry but won’t be able to do anything about it because I’ve been dead for a hundred years — except I’m not! I’m right behind them and I beat them up.

I don’t like people from the future. I think it’s because they’re a bunch of know-it-alls.

9 Comments

  1. “That’s because I invented a time machine (I’m a super genius), went a hundred years in the future, found out all about the people from then, and went back to my normal time and wrote a scathing critique of society a hundred years from now.”

    You went 100 years into the future and didn’t write down who won Superbowls, World Series, Kentucky Derbys, etc., etc. over the next few years so you could bet a fortune and win every time and keep getting richer and richer so you wouldn’t have to work and you could shower Buttercup with cool gifts? Instead you wrote a “scathing critique” of a society that ain’t even here yet? Some “super genius” you are. No wonder Buttercup is bidding her time so she can kick you.

  2. I guess he has coined a new term instead of “talking behind their backs” it could be called “talking over their graves.”

    Speaking of the future I was very pissed watching “The Book of Eli” to see the moon just floating there mocking that it survived the apocalypse without being blowed up!

  3. Hopefully for Mark Twain he didn’t mention anything in his memoir that might be construed as mocking liberal policies. If he did, all of his past works will be stricken from schools and colleges and burned, and his legacy will be revised to that of a hateful, racist, homophobe…all in the name of liberal free speech.

  4. We got it wrong. In a hundred years this wiil be the United States of Frank, with states like Frankelvania, Frankilaska, Califranka, and New Frankixco. It wwill be awesome.

    If you have a time machine, why didn;t you go back to Kenya and provide a condom to someone? (That comment wil send the liberals into a dizzy, which Frank can write about in his memoirs to be opened on one huindred years.)

  5. Years ago I read a collection of Mark Twain’s unpublished stuff entitled, “Letters From the Earth” (a book Mark Twain said would never be published because it would be illegal).
    It warped my fragile, young (well, youthful) mind for months.
    He had a very dark side.
    If this new work is anything like that one – keep telling yourself, “It’s only a book! It’s only a book!”
    I’m just saying.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.