One of the two red belts on Jupiter has gone missing:
What the...
This is a big deal.
…Well, it’s seems like a big deal. This is like something big enough for hundreds of earths to fit inside and its just disappeared. What does that mean? What do we do if other stripes on Jupiter start disappearing?
What if this means Jupiter is about to explode?
Well, you’d think we’d just hide behind the sun. One problem: On September 24, Jupiter at its closest to Earth.
I think it’s up to something.
You know, we have to remember that all other planets in our solar system are enemies and need to be treated as such. Who knows what they could do except that it probably won’t be to the benefit of Earth. One of the worst things we ever did was remove Pluto from the planet watch list; now no one is paying attention to it. Why, it could be sneaking up on us right now.
Yeah, so try to sleep at night thinking of all the planets out there and how we have no idea what they’re even up to.
Who knows when Neptune will plant a truck bomb in Times Square, or Venus launches another virus on the net. Just last week I had to tell Saturn to get off of my lawn.I say we nuke ’em all.
That was the wall that was constructed to keep illegal Mexicans from invading the nice section of Jupiter. Liberals have now torn it down…and the nice section of Jupiter is now crime-ridden.
Can’t nuke ’em without proper t-shirts now, can we? We might have the Chicoms taking credit for it. By the bye, didja see that article about how the Chicoms feed their astronauts dog meat? Not Tang. Not astronaut ice cream. Dog Meat.
It’s all the happy meal toys, and slick fast food advertisements. Jupiter just couldn’t control itself. When will Michelle Obama spring into action to save the solar system from the corporate greed of big food?
Jupiter got fat on all of the goodies that the first sasquatch shot into space to kkep our kids from eating that its second belt no longer fit.
Because it was red, they put it on a reservation.
Because it was red, that clown in the WH, claimed it as his own and makes policy based on its color.
So what? the red disappeared, you only care because you’re a racist. — keith oberdouche
NASA is too busy building an ethanol plant! What are we going to do? Are we going to contract this out to Ben Affleck?
AJW caused the loss of the belt.
Alienogenic Jovian Warming has been shown to weaken the trade winds in the Southern Equatorial Belt. The effect, attributed at least in part to alien-induced climate change, could disrupt food chains and reduce the biological productivity of Jupiter’s Southern Hemisphere.
But there is something you can do to help. Send me all your money, or I’ll get Barry O to take it.
How will that help? It will help me to buy another luxury home.
Jupiterians are well known for their control of evil asteroids, it’s no accident Jupiter sits just outside the Asteroid Belt. The Jupiterians are going to use the missing belt to kinda sling shot a few of those evil asteroids towards Earth to see if they can repeat their earlier success using an asteroid to wipe out the dinosaurs. Except this time they hope to wipe us ’cause the Jupiterians have finally had enough of us beaming moronic shows like “American Idol”, Dancing With The Stars”, “Lost” and “24” at them. I think they also got the pictures of Kagan and they’ve decided if that’s an example of a human being, we don’t deserve to continue our existence. Frankly, I can’t blame them.
Or maybe Jupiterians are into smaller, narrower belts. You know how fat belts can make an already fat planet look fatter. Does this belt make me look fat? Yes, it does. You never know what Jupiterian fashionistas will come up with next.
It got wind of the plan to nuke the moon and is busy Organizing For The Solar System. Has anyone seen Andy Stern?
Cheers, Proud Infidel: Wide horizontal stripes are not flattering to a chubby planet. Seems Jupiter is reading Vogue and discovered the new looks for the season. It’s camouflage. Jupiter is hitting on Saturn, but hasn’t noticed her rings, yet. The solar system is like a corner bar, and every planet is trying out its A-game, just hoping to score.
Jupiter’s getting close to the Earth? Must be part of the 2012 doomsday calendar of events. New Michael Moore movie…check. Arnold speaking at a commencement…check. appointment of Kagan to SCOTUS, even though not a judge…check. Asteroid slinging planet on collision course w/ Earth…we’ll see how the Dems do in the mid-terms.
Stay tuned, folks.
Another symptom of the massive manmade
GlobalUniversal Warmening! Stop driving your SUVs before we destroy the Universe!I would assume a mega volcano started or stopped in order for the color to change.
Jupiter is becoming more white. Those racist bastages!
The weather on Jupiter is calming! Global Cooling! All life there will be destroyed! Quick – freak out!
OR! We are looking at two different sides of the planet…….
No. We should totally freak out.
“One of the two red belts on Jupiter has gone mission.”
Someone call the White House and see if the First Klingon is wearing it as a boob belt.
It is only Jupiter’s way of complaining to Obama that it still has claim to being the largest gas giant.
TtheT wins!
Let’s note a few things.
1. Jupiter is like the daddy of the planets.
2. Jupiter takes off its belt.
3. Jupiter comes closer to Earth.
Clearly, Earth has done something wrong, and we’re about to spend some time thinking about it with a sore South Pole.
I’d suggest putting ace attorney general Eric Holder on the case but he’s too busy investigating the CIA. So I guess this mystery will just have to continue being….a mystery.
When asked to comment on Jupiter’s missing belt, Eric Holder said, “I only glanced at it.”
When the other planets are up to no good, you had better watch Uranus.
One of the two red belts on Jupiter has gone missing:
It’s the Mother of all advertising stunts.
“Wow.”
Duh! It’s man-made global warming! Our reliance on oil and polluting the air causes disturbances through out the solar system. Whenever you start your car you send out pollutants that leave Earth through the hole in the ozone layer and bombard the other planets.
Michelle Obama likes belts. Big belts. I’m just saying.