Previously on IMAO, I quoted Bill Maher saying “Whatever a liberal says, no matter how sensible.”
Commenter FormerHostage [High Praise!] suggested that was like saying:
“whenever Michael Moore takes pride in his personal appearance and hygiene” or “when Keith Over-man gives a calm, reasoned response” or “when Bill Maher is funny.”
Good point.
So let’s roll with it. Here’s 10 more Liberal Oxymorons:
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1) When Barabara Boxer ducks to walk through a doorway.
2) When Robert Reich shaves.
3) When Obama cuts spending.
4) When Joe Biden goes off-teleprompter and no one gasps in awkward horror.
5) When Al Sharpton sympathizes with the white victim of black thugs who beat him while yelling about “justice for Trayvon.”
6) When Hillary Clinton wears a dress.
7) When Eric Holder prosecutes a Black Panther.
8) When Occupy protesters clean up a park.
9) When Michelle Obama decides a vacation would be too big of a burden on taxpayers.
10) When Nancy Pelosi chose to grow old with grace and dignity, shunning elective surgeries and chemical skin-rejuvenation techniques.
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“When a liberal finds ‘Obama ate a dog’ jokes funny” isn’t on the list because that actually happened.
* When Jay Carney gives a straight answer to a question.
* When Warren Buffet pays the tax rates he claims he wants to pay.
* When Debbie Wasserman Schultz makes the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.
OK – I just grossed myself out there.
* When Janet Napolitano actually arrests a terrorist.
* When Al Gore shuts the hell up.
* When Harry Reid produces a budget.
* When the DOE and EPA start promoting energy independence.
Poodlicious. No wait, they’re the same….
– Honest Democrat politician
– For that matter, honest Republican politician
– Sensible liberal
– Sensible environmentalist
– Straight-shooting Obama spokesman
– Tim Geithner’s tax return
– Joe Biden’s Mensa membership
– Obama’s normal childhood
– Anthony Wiener’s wiener
– Barney Frank’s girlfriend
– Harry Reid’s planning and leadership abilities
– John Boehner’s planning and leadership abilities
– Marion Barry’s sobriety
This is too easy…
(And, because when I hear comments about the oxymoron that is my branch, Military Intelligence, I always reply with my favorite two)
– Honest lawyer
– Happy marriage
Sorry, a few more:
– Limited Federal Government
– GM’s profit
– Supreme Court wise decisions
– Successful government-subsidized solar manufacturer
– Cost-cutting bureaucrat
– Efficient green power plant
– State sovereignty
– GE’s federal tax bill
I think I could go on forever. The left is 100% hypocrites and living, talking oxymorons. In addition to being regular morons.
Ummmm…..need I point out that #7 on Harvey’s list did not need the word “Panther” ?
CTC – I was being kind 🙂
“When Debbie Wasserman Schultz makes the cover of the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition.”
BAD KITTY!! No Tuna!!
When journalists report the news truthfully
When clinton doest actually not have sex with that woman
When the occupant tells the truth
When he really just wants to eat his waffle
When he prefers waffles to dogs
When sasquatch diets
Conservative Jew, or Jewish Conservative; another deceitful oxymoron.