[via ThinkGeek]
My First Bacon(tm) is a ThinkGeek exclusive plush toy that will delight your little ones. Even if they’re not on solid foods yet, your progeny shouldn’t be deprived of the joys of bacon. Soft and snuggly with big giant eyes, My First Bacon(tm) is both friendly and reliable, just like actual bacon.
Squeeze him and he says, “I’m Bacon!”. No matter what the situation, he says, “I’m Bacon!” This reminds children that no matter what happens in life, they should be true to themselves and always be proud of who they are. Which of course, means bacon lovers. What child on this planet wouldn’t want to befriend a piece of mostly meat held together with fat and love? And don’t just think about the kids, adults enjoy My First Bacon just as much as the kids do. Sometimes a little too much.
I don’t know. I’ve always been a little concerned about the food chain among stuffed toys — bears and dogs hanging out with rabbits. This is already butchered meat. With transplanted eyes. I think it would give me nightmares, let alone the kids. As we know from The Restaurant at the End of the Universe, you can’t eat something with which you’ve had a conversation.
He kinda reminds me of Mr. Hankey.
We are all sausages. Sausages with eyes.
Ah, you’ve stumbled upon The Conspiracy. My First Bacon is part of a plot to keep vegetarians from re-thinking their abstinence and coming after our bacon. We butcher the animal, cure the meat, slice it to unrecognizable form, then put eyes and a smile on it. “Don’t eat me, bro!”
why does the bacon not have a nose? eyes, check. mouth, check. no nose.
If bacon had a nose, it would know how good it smells.
Auto-cannibalism would inevitably follow.
ThinkGeek puts out at toy that says ONE thing over and over? Lame.
There should be a 4-core microprocessor in there with multiple sensors that knows what the hell is going on and can really talk
turkeyBACON!Wow, if they just offered a version of My First Bacon holding a gun, we could drive lie-berals instantly insane (a very short drive) by giving it to their kids…
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This toy must be made specifically for mentally challenged children spawned by liberals. Because any normal child is born with a genetic predisposition to immediately love bacon.
Toys like that used to be full of beans.