Straight Line of the Day: Al Gore Is Proposing a $15 Trillion Carbon Tax, the Revenues From Which Will Be Spent on…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

Al Gore is proposing a $15 trillion carbon tax, the revenues from which will be spent on…

33 Comments

  1. It doesn’t matter how it’s spent. The point of the tax is to :

    Spend, spend, spending, spent.
    Spend, spend, spend spend SPEND!.
    Spend on Spending.
    Spend a little more.

    Mr. Obama taught us well.

  2. . . . a fleet of private jets, armored limos, and a large force of armed security agents to escort Al Gore, Chelsea Clinton, Hollywood celebrities, and other non-deplorable people to various Earth Day celebrations and climate change summits all around the world – excuse me, I mean The Earth – so that they can convince the ignorant masses of the urgency of the situation with their concerned frowny-faces, their vituperative excoriation of h8ful deniers, their total sincerity (about the vituperative excoriations, anyway), and their general awesome awesomeness (especially Chelsea Clinton, that precious treasure, who carries the Tremendous Burden of her Sacred Political Heritage with such grace and dignity – no, seriously, it says so right here in Vogue, and in the New York Times, and in the Washington Post, and . . .).

    [How long before TPT – That Precious Treasure – follows every mention of Chelsea Clinton, like the durood PBUH follows the name of respected Islamic prophets? “Chelsea Clinton, TPT, arrived in Washington today to pick up another award for her amazing charity work in distributing Clinton Foundation funds to various deserving caterers, decorators and servers who helped make her recent Gala to Raise Awareness, hosted at her beautiful vacation home, and featuring A-List celebrities, such a rousing success . . . ]

    • No! A search for this critically endangered species would only disrupt its habitat, rape the Earth, and cause Greenpeace members to wet their diapers. You must accept the existence of manbearpig, sight unseen, because Al Gore (PBUH) has told you it exists, and each one of you must contribute your fair share of the trillions needed for extensive government programs to preserve, stabilize, and regulate its habitat, or be denounced, persecuted, and preferably prosecuted, as an anti-Science! manbearpig denier.

  3. His brand new Hawaii vaction home, on his private island that is only accessible by helicopter and/or boat. With multi levels and powered by spewing unicorn, it’s a 50 rooms that houses Al and friends (so he’s usually there alone).

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