Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
For $400,000, former President Obama will make a speech saying…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
For $400,000, former President Obama will make a speech saying…
Let me be clear.
If you like your doctor, you can keep your doctor.
I didn’t know about that until I read it in the newspaper.
Ya di buckety, Rum ting phutaow!
Yi ni ni, yaoooow!
Ladies and Gentlemen, take my advice.
Pull down your pants and slide on the ice.
When in danger,
Or in doubt,
Run in circles,
Scream and shout.
“It’s still Bush’s fault.”
For $400,000, former President Obama will make a speech saying…
Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!
Or I, I, I, I, I…
For $400,000, former President Obama will make a speech saying…
I’ll be quick, got a tee time at noon.
Money can’t get you everything that’s true, but what it can’t get I can’t use!
I want my MTV.
“Epsum factorial non deposit quid pro quo hic escorol. Olypian quarrels et gorilla congolium sic ad nauseum. Souvlaki ignitus carborundum e pluribus unum. Defacto lingo est igpay atinlay. Marquee selectus non provisio incongruous feline nolo contendre. Gratuitous octopus niacin, sodium glutimate. Quote meon an estimate et non interruptus stadium.”
“Spend, spend, spending spent, spent, spent, spend on spending, spent. Spend a little more…”
…”Later, suckas!”
For $400,000, former President Obama will make a speech saying…
“399,998… 399,999… 400,000… yup, all there. PEACE OUT BITCHES!!”
“If you like your ex-President, you can keep your ex-President – for $400,000 a pop!”
For $400,000, former President Obama will make a speech saying…
there really are suckers born every minute, $400,000 worth just in this room
the usual, nothing of relevance and nothing with a smidgen of truth
guilty as sin, free as a bird
“guilty as sin, free as a bird”
So his speech was ghostwritten too?
For $400,000, former President Obama will make a speech saying: I do think at a certain point YOU’VE made enough money…but I haven’t.
You are a fluke of the universe. You have no right to be here.
Deteriorata. Deteriorata.
Go placidly amid the noise and waste,
And remember what comfort there may be in owning a piece thereof.
Avoid quiet and passive persons, unless you are in need of sleep.
Rotate your tires.
Speak glowingly of those greater than yourself,
And heed well their advice, even though they be turkeys.
Know what to kiss, and when.
Consider that two wrongs never make a right, but that three do.
Wherever possible, put people on hold.
Be comforted that in the face of all aridity and disillusionment,
and despite the changing fortunes of time,
There is always a big future in computer maintenance.
Remember The Pueblo.
Strive at all times to bend, fold, spindle, and mutilate.
Know yourself. If you need help, call the FBI.
Exercise caution in your daily affairs,
Especially with those persons closest to you –
That lemon on your left, for instance.
Be assured that a walk through the ocean of most souls
Would scarcely get your feet wet.
Fall not in love therefore. It will stick to your face.
Gracefully surrender the things of youth: birds, clean air, tuna, Taiwan.
And let not the sands of time get in your lunch.
Hire people with hooks.
For a good time, call 606-4311. Ask for Ken.
Take heart in the bedeepening gloom
That your dog is finally getting enough cheese.
And reflect that whatever fortune may be your lot,
It could only be worse in Milwaukee.
You are a fluke of the universe.
You have no right to be here.
And whether you can hear it or not,
The universe is laughing behind your back.
Therefore, make peace with your god,
Whatever you perceive him to be – hairy thunderer, or cosmic muffin.
With all its hopes, dreams, promises, and urban renewal,
The world continues to deteriorate.
Give up!
And thank your lucky (Hollywood) stars!
Five (5) stars! Plus, bacon on your sammich!
…”I got my mind on my money, and my money on my mind…”…
Youngbloodz will do it for a quarter of that…
Let me be clear. What difference, at this point, does the size of the fee matter? Because at this point, I haven’t made enough money.
MONEY!
It’s a hit.
Don’t give me your do goody-good bull$hit!
For $400,000, former President Obama will make a speech saying…
…and the opening bid for me to shut up and go home is $100,000, do I hear $150,000? $150,000 from the fat cat in the suit, do I hear $200,000? $200,000 from the typical white person over there, do I hear $300,000? Did I mention the wife is here and wants to speak too? What do I hear to keep her quiet?
Noooooooooo…she’s gonna speak too!? You fiend!
Whatever the teleprompter tells him to say.