Straight Line of the Day: President Trump Wants $3.6 Trillion in Spending Cuts. The First Thing to Go…

Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.

President Trump wants $3.6 trillion in spending cuts. The first thing to go…

33 Comments

  1. Tootsie Roll Pop research. Just when they’re about to discover how many licks it takes to get to the center, Trump has to go and pull the plug.

    Research on why hot dogs come in packs of 8 while buns come in packs of 6.

    Preparations for a zombie ninja apocolypse.

    UFO Welcoming Committee.

    Using satellite lasers and 50 mirrors to remove the crust from bread and light cigarettes.

    • I did a longitudinal study on how many licks it takes to get to the Tootsie Roll Center of a Tootsie Pop. Between 1997-1999 I did tests on:
      -multiple flavors
      -dome side vs. ridge side
      -relative humidity
      -drinking a beverage vs. not (during testing)

      Some variables included:
      -air bubbles
      -pre mastication fractures
      -melting outer layer sticking to wrapper

      This is important research but I understand the need for private grant money as opposed to government funding this avenue of knowledge.

      I’ve got the results in a spiral notebook somewhere.

  2. President Trump wants $3.6 trillion in spending cuts. The first thing to go…

    is any thought that this is going to get passed without so much adding and inflation to render any benefit meaningless.

  3. . . . will be imaginary “cuts” from future projected spending – because in government-ese, “cut” means failing to increase spending by as much as you had anticipated.

  4. …. eliminating 1,000,000 instances of one kind of fraud:

    Massachusetts woman pleads guilty to $3.6 million food stamp fraud scheme
    Hot Air | 10/7/15

    . . . or another:

    Obama’s golf weekend with Tiger Woods in 2013 cost taxpayers more than $3.6M: GAO
    The Washington Times | October 26, 2016

  5. … digging into the coiffeurs?

    Well, Trump exemplifies the old saying: “Big Hair Full of What You Want. You May Get It.”

    (*Big Hair is a copyrighted trademark of Harvey. Unauthorized duplication will be persecuted to the foulest extent of DaneLaw.”)

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