Especially For zzyzx: What the rest of the country imagines they’d find in Alaska
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I’ll start:
Ice Road Truckers
People who know how to start a vehicle in forty-below temperatures
People who can do that without a heavy jacket on
Bears licking the SUV for road salt and human beings
Fiercely independent independence-protectors
Snow
Flare guns in the trunk
Shotguns in the trunk
Gold!
Mountains
Canadian immigrants coming over those mountains
An unobstructed view of Moscow…
Clouds of mosquitos so dense that day turns to night.
Wolves.
More snow.
Mushers and malamutes.
The frozen tundra that they export to Lambeau Field…
Igloos and Inuits.
No gbears
Bush planes with tires as big as a 747
All the people who fled to the end of the earth to get away from the likes of you.
Aurora borealis and ursus maritimus.
The sun at midnight and a star covered sky at noon (depending on the season.)
Is that Denali in your pocket, or are you just glad to see me?
Klondike bars.
I’d go to Alaska for a Klondike Bar.
Good theories gentlemen, however I live up here because this is the most beautiful state in the union…also one of the least taxed and absolutely one of the most free.
PS: The Klondike is in Canada.
Eskimo Pie then, sheesh!
Hey, this is PG.