… that “naughty” and “nice” were oppressive remnants of the patriarchy, so Santa will be switching to a “woke” scale of disenfranchisement to determine gift worthiness…
So 2020: Santa has decided this year…
To emancipate the Reindeer and use Emu until he found out the elves had unionized and had made Biden ballots. Now he’s closing up shop, freeing the Reindeer and eating a gun after terminating the elves. Literally.
…to tell all the elves that they needed to mask up and social distance, cancelled the Christmas party, then had the reindeer fly him and Mrs. Claus to Aruba for a conference with the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny.
So 2020: Santa has decided this year…
The take a holiday vacation without a mask.
So 2020: Santa has decided this year…
there was something fishy about the late surge to the good list on Christmas Eve.
So 2020: Santa has decided this year…
Basil, not Basil, gets two presents this time.
So 2020: Santa has decided this year…
well I’m not saying that Aliens will be getting presents but… Aliens will be getting presents.
… that before next Christmas, coal futures would be a sound investment…
So 2020: Santa has decided this year…
he was expected to be Satan to dyslexic children.
… that “naughty” and “nice” were oppressive remnants of the patriarchy, so Santa will be switching to a “woke” scale of disenfranchisement to determine gift worthiness…
So 2020: Santa has decided this year…
To emancipate the Reindeer and use Emu until he found out the elves had unionized and had made Biden ballots. Now he’s closing up shop, freeing the Reindeer and eating a gun after terminating the elves. Literally.
Since the elves unionized, Santa has put them to work building toy-making robots. For Easter he’s giving them all one-way tickets to Wuhan.
Dark and gritty, both of you.
Fun Fact: He bought passage for them on Malaysian Air…..
So 2020: Santa has decided this year…
…to tell all the elves that they needed to mask up and social distance, cancelled the Christmas party, then had the reindeer fly him and Mrs. Claus to Aruba for a conference with the Tooth Fairy and Easter Bunny.
So 2020: Santa has decided this year…
…to give the bad boys and girls miniature solar panels instead of lumps of coal.
…to give Democrats large wooden badgers… filled with coal… then hit ’em with a carbon footprint tax.
Warrants murder hornets in our stockings
Biden/Harris in a box
Dr. Fauci bearing gifts: Rules and regulations
Deadlier than ever was a pox
“Release all the prisoners, there’ll be freedom in our time
Except for Trump supporters
Conservative thought is a crime”
Schools closed, churches barred
Race and gender of your choice
The best gift of all
Bigger government as our voice