Straight Line of the Day: Feeling cranky? Irritable? Have you consulted your Climate Psychiatrist?
Feeling Cranky? Irritable? You’re Not Alone Amid Widespread Heat Wave
John Murphy | AccuWeather | Jul. 22, 2022“Almost everybody knows that they get really cranky and really irritated when the heat goes up,” Robin Cooper, the president of Climate Psychiatry Alliance, told AccuWeather National Reporter Kim Leoffler.
“You can’t be in the mindset that, ‘Oh, it’s a heat wave, it’s temporary, I’m just going to get through it.’ No — heat waves can be killers.”
and for the — shall we say, less perceptive? — out there:
“Don’t stay in overheated apartments,” she said.
And now for some hard-hitting reporting, not phoning it in at all:
Larger pets were also cooling off in their own ways, such as a Pembroke Welsh Corgi [“larger”? — ed.] named Fraya in Ontario, Canada. Freya could be seen, in a photo taken by her owner, Jennifer Stuber, after having apparently taken a dip in the cool water along Cherry Beach in Toronto.
“It was her fourth time this summer, twice this week since it has been very warm!” Stuber told AccuWeather.
That’s what you call an in-depth investigation. In depth. That’s a joke, son!
I’m still waiting for my psychic hotline to pick up ,
Obviously they know it’s you calling.
D’oh!
I’m here for my med management appointment? The voices have been getting louder.
Yeah, about that. We’re swapping out your lithium for a solar panel, your Haldol for a Tesla lease, and your Risperidone for this free coupon for 30% off of climate offsets. The voices won’t go away, but we can assure you they will be smug.
What stinkin heat wave? Just because the cows are giving evaporated milk?
The ones that haven’t been killed because they can’t afford to feed them?
And I was just looking into green heating alternatives – I understand lithium batteries burn well, at the slightest provocation…
Remember when temperatures ran away
According to the media chumps and I begged it
Just to stop because I’d go berserk?
WELL,
You cooked the data anyhow and
Then the reporting got worse and worse
And now you see I’ve gone completely
out of my mind,
AND
They’re coming to take me away,
Haha, they’re coming to take me away,
Ho ho, hee hee, ha ha,
To the funny farm
Where Life is Beautiful all the time
And I’ll be happy to see
Those Nice Young Men
With their climate modeling
And they’re coming to take me AWAY,
HA HAAAAA
You thought it was a joke,
and so you LAUGHED, YOU LAUGHED
When I had said that climate change
Would make me flip my lid,
RIGHT?
You know you laughed.
I HEARD you laugh, you laughed
At my protests that data
Was being ignored,
But now you know I’m Utterly Mad
AND
They’re coming to take me away,
Haha, they’re coming to take me away,
Ho ho, hee hee, ha ha,
To the Happy Home with Trees and Flowers
And Climate Limits and data weavers
Who sit and smile and
Twiddle their graphs and slide shows
And they’re coming to Take me Away,
HAHAAAAAAAAA
I cooked your charts,
I cleaned your lists,
And this is how you pay me back
For all my kind unselfish climate deeds
HUH?
Well, you just wait,
They’ll fine you yet,
And when they do, they’ll send you off
to Lagos, you mangy MUTT,
AND
Is it hot in here? No it ain’t.
He said scattered darkness toward evening… so I decided to stick with 1, 3. 5, 7, 9..
It’s 68 degrees at the airport, which is stupid because no one lives at the airport. Downtown is much hotter. Downtown is on fire man.
Recommended Rx just happens to be a regimen of carbon tax increases every 3 months.
Climate Psychiatrist: “How does the heat wave make you feel?”
Patient: “um…hot?”
Climate Psychiatrist: “uh huh…interesting…”
Tell me more about your hot Mother.
Following the advice of the great shrink Greta, I could just mootilate a cow
How dairy you?
Like it leather or not
When I started getting agitated, my climate psychologist told me to take a chill pill.
“Coming soon to ABC: The Climate Psychiatrists
They’re Jung and hot”
Bartender…I’ll have whatever Bob B is drinking…..say that again?…he’smoking what??…
Hey..Robin Coopers ok in my books…she told me I should turn the tinfoil shiny side out on my head shield so it reflects..the woman is a god I tell you….