Straight Line of the Day: AOC has left you a voicemail ! What does it say?
“Leave a message after the “beep”? What are you censoring?”
“Leave a message after the beep? How will I know if the beep went first?”
OMG — TMI — YFKM! Am I supposed to spell these out? Questioning Face!”
{Oops, Rodney: I accidentally posted this too early last week… Here ya go: Number one response!– Oppo}
OMGWTFBBQ!
“The sink is growling at me again – what do I do?”
Put your hand down inside it to rub it’s belly. It just wants a little attention.
“I bought this new cabinet from IKEA, and it says “some assembly required” – do you have Carl Heastie’s number handy?”
“Sorry I abandoned you outside of that sleazy cantina in Tijuana – did you get out of jail yet? Call me…”
AOC has left you a voicemail ! What does it say?
She’s not saying it’s Aliens but…. it’s Aliens.
Hi, you have reached this many this many this many this many this many this many this many, please leave a message.
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeep………
Chewing noises, followed by a loud belch and maniacal laughter.
Hi, I’m calling because your Constitutional warranty has expired…
Like we don’t know what the replacement consists of, right?
AOC has left you a voicemail ! What does it say?
“Uhm, hi. Like, this is Alexandria. Uhm, and, you know, I was, like, calling to, like, ask you if, you know, you could, like, maybe not always make fun of meeeee. Uhm, could you, I don’t know, maybe call me back? Okay, bye-eee.
AOC has left you a voicemail ! What does it say?
This is Alexandria Occasio-Cortez. I am calling to arrange to have Walruskkkch testify about the lack of inclusion in the Babesleaga. There has yet to be any transgender humpbacks with cleft lips as contestants and, well, we find this to be a serious problem.
AOC has left you a voicemail ! What does it say?
Nothing but braying noises.
Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG. Zoom-Boing. Z’ nourrwringmm
Just the echo sound of a bunch of marbles rolling around on a very large gym floor.
Oh good, she found them. They’ve been lost for a while.
(on VOIP) “….I can’t leave you a massage… my fingers won’t fit through Al Gore’s Intertoobs.”
“You can’t fool me. You’re there…. I can hear your voice….”
…just the sound of someone trying to lick their elbows.
…”I’ve had enough of your patriarchy, I’m going to leave a voice femail.”
Would you like to buy some cookies?!
“Your voicemail message is in English only. That’s not very inclusive. What if I only spoke Spanish? I wouldn’t be able to leave a message because your voicemail only understands English.”
The flake is a lie.