‘Zillions’ of Big Spiders Are About To Invade the East Coast
AccuWeather | 3/11/22 | Allison FinchAfter rapidly reproducing in Georgia last year, the Joro spider, native to East Asia, could spread to much of the East Coast in the coming year, according to new research from the University of Georgia, which also suggests the insects’ ability to survive certain weather conditions will influence just how far north they move.
The Joro spider is a part of the Trichonephila clavata species and is part of a group of spiders known for highly organized, wheel-shaped webs. The females have colorful yellow, red and blue markings on their bodies and can measure up to 3 to 4 inches when their legs are fully extended. The males have a brown body and are much smaller compared to the females. . . .
They use a ballooning technique, in which the spider uses its web to catch a current of air, to fly for 50-100 miles before latching onto a tree. . . .
“It looks like the Joros could probably survive throughout most of the Eastern Seaboard here, which is pretty sobering,” study co-author Andy Davis said in a statement. . . .
“Joro spiders present us with excellent opportunities to suppress pests naturally, without chemicals, so I’m trying to convince people that having zillions of large spiders and their webs around is a good thing,” Hinkle said.
Straight Line of the Day: Zillions of ballooning spiders are good because…

…not only can they make objects out their balloons they have also learned how to fly a kite.
…the Ukranians are training them as paratroopers to fight the Russians.
…all that webbing will keep the wind turbines warm when they are idled by winter…
… they can be harnessed to deliver ballots to an eager voting public…
Has a system been devised to ensure that the ballot recipients will vote Democrat?
They will be pre-marked.
… your standard KN95 mask is believed to be effective in preventing the inhalation of the spiders. Fully funded study to follow.
…they are exceptionally high in protein.
Zillions of ballooning spiders are good because…
It’ll be entertaining to see just how MSNBC will manage to find racism with it.
…they keep other bugs out of your large wooden badger.
…those flies have been getting mighty cocky lately.
…that’s easier than teaching them to fly A-10 Warthogs.
…they’re a sure fire way to trap Murder Hornets and Killer Bees. But they’re rumored to be no match for Love Bugs.
because it’s funny watching people freak out and/or have fist fights with the air when they walk onto one.
… anything that sobers up a university researcher is a good thing.
… if one of them became radioactive, then bit someone, we could have a Spider Man that flies!!!
…they know the definition of Woman
…a spider wrote this.
…the Booty Judge has asked Elon to research balloon/spiders as an alternate transportation choice.
… men who identify as women will not be able to squish them!
Zillions of ballooning spiders are good because…
Under Trump it would have been just thousands, and as we all know inflation is good for us……
Gives rise to the proliferation of much needed and desired Breakdancing Or Spiderjeebies memes.
Tap dancing monks unlikely to halt routines for Joros spider lamentation.
Impenetrable wall of flying lead will keep inner city areas Joros free, aldermen finally have something to brag about.
Makeup sales will soar as the plain brown males will want to paint themselves and identify as females…
Zillions of ballooning spiders are good because…
gazillions would have been too many.
What about the other spiders and insects these will eat?
Will it be more than the local systems can handle?
This could get rid of some of the helpful insects and cause a problem with overpopulation in the local area of the bad insects.
For the record, Joro spiders are not classified as invasive. Not considered harmful to the economy, humans, pets or the environment. Your average soy boy may get trapped in their big ol’ web, watching in horror as skeeters get Kamala’d but so far, nothing to worry about.
First sentence, 5th line, calls them “insects”. Spiders are not insects. So who made the mistake, Allison Finch or the University of Georgia?
Nice catch.
Like a fly in a web.
My money is on the journalist.
But then I’m not An Arachnologist.
I would like to welcome our new spider overlords and say I cam be useful to you and your growing empire.