Frank Advice for Liberals in Power

Posted on January 19, 2009 12:03 pm

Since liberals are soon going to be in charge of the country and I like this country, I thought I’d give them advice so they don’t screw things up too much.

FRANK ADVICE FOR LIBERALS IN POWER

* No matter how much he looks like he needs one, never give a murderous dictator a hug.

* If you bomb enough of a country’s infrastructure, including fossil fuel burning power plants and factories, war can actually be carbon neutral.

* If you don’t like a government policy, don’t march down a street shouting about while burning an American flag; just go ahead and change the policy.

* Protesting troops as baby-killers is considered a faux pas when you’re the commander in chief.

* As easy as 100% taxation would make things for funding your programs, most economists agree you have to let people keep at least some money.

* You may love peace, but if an enemy country actually invades the U.S., people are going to expect you to respond militarily even if you personally think that would be an overreaction.

* If the American people turn against your policies, don’t just shout, “I know better than you, you inbred, sky fairy-worshiping hillbillies!” That hardly ever helps.

* No matter how smart actors may seem, they really aren’t the best foreign policy advisers.

* It would be great to capture Osama bin Laden, but giving him a plea bargain so he’ll testify against the real terrorist, George W. Bush, probably won’t go over as well as you expect.

* Just because some more foreign countries may like us doesn’t mean they’ll actually be anymore useful.

* No matter how sure you are that conservatives are evil and just like Nazis, you can’t round them up into camps.

* Blaming Bush for problems is going to be harder the longer it’s been since he was in office; you’ll eventually have to find a new scapegoat. The Jews tend to be the popular choice.

* Though you probably want to reduce military engagements, you’ll actually have to expand war to all parts of the globe if you don’t want the military’s enemy body count to look racist.

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10 Responses to “Frank Advice for Liberals in Power”

  1. Abigail says:

    * No matter how sure you are that conservatives are evil and just like Nazis, you can’t round them up into camps.

    Now that’s funny, Frank J.

  2. Plentyobailouts says:

    * If you bomb enough of a country’s infrastructure, including fossil fuel burning power plants and factories, war can actually be carbon neutral.

    Careful Frank, batboy waxman is probably gearing up the B-52s for strafing runs on Pennsylvania as we speak.

  3. Browncoatone says:

    The scary thing is some people really need to be told some of that.

  4. Tommy the Towelhead says:

    Calling troops “baby killers” while giving your full support to NARAL and Planned Parenthood is kind of hypocritical.

  5. ussjimmycarter says:

    Men really are not all that attracted to really really angry women that don’t shave their legs or arm pits and wear no make up, even if they are good at “sharing their feelings” just like they learned on Oprah…

    If you want to be a liberal man, fine but expect to get your ass kicked because to be a liberal man you must be a sissy. Sissies have been getting their asses kicked by non-sissies since the beginning and shall be until the end so get use to it.

    It’s ok to make your young boy wear a full-face motorcycle helmet, knee and elbow pads before he climbs on his bike, but he’s going to get his ass kicked!

  6. Terry_Jim says:

    * No matter how sure you are that conservatives are evil and just like Nazis, you can’t round them up into camps.

    Sez who? Just some dead white guys who signed some old outmoded document.
    Hope and change are way more relevant now.
    God, help us.

    I find that my depression lifts when I sing:

    We shall overcome,
    we shall overcome,
    we shall overcome someday.
    Deep in my heart,
    I do believe,
    we shall overcome someday.

    http://www.thepeoplescube.com/red/viewtopic.php?p=52869#52869

  7. 4 of 7 says:

    Greater expectations leads to greater disapointments, and your base isn’t all that stable even at the best of times.

  8. Maverick says:

    If Obamacare has taught us anything it’s that the last line of defense against socialism is Democrat incompetence. With a majority in the House, a filibuster proof Senate, and the Presidency, Democrats were in the red zone. The healthcare ball was 1st and goal at the 1. And all they managed was 2 trick plays and a punt. If the circumstances were reversed, we would have achieved hope and change, social security would be privatized, Gitmo would encompass all of Cuba, Iran would be overthrown, and Keith Olbermann would be driven back into the sea.

  9. BornLib says:

    Blaming Bush for problems is going to be harder the longer it’s been since he was in office; you’ll eventually have to find a new scapegoat. The Jews tend to be the popular choice.

    It looks like the administration actually read this list after all.

  10. IMAO » Blog Archive » Did Liberals Take My Advice From Two Years Ago? links:

    […] had forgotten all about it, but right after Democrats took power in January 2009, I wrote a post on advice for them now that liberals were in power. I originally wrote it for Jonah Goldberg who […]

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