New Party
Newt Gingrich was talking about the possible need for forming a new party. As we all know, third parties are for crackpots and nut cases and crazy people and the insane and people who live in their parents basement and the socially inept and goobers and hippies and people who turn their skin blue and rejects and freaks and owners of ferrets and weirdos and your mom, but at some point we may have to consider it… or at least consider a name! Here are my ideas:
FRANK IDEAS FOR NEW POLITICAL PARTY NAMES
* Freedomitaritans
* Bitter Clingers
* The Super Awesomes
* American Ronin
* Crat Cutters
* The Anti-Tax, Gun-Loving, Terrorist-Killing Super Fun Group
* Liberty Ninjas
* Cyborg Dino Freedom-Lovers
* Hippie Punchers
(46 votes, average: 4.98 out of 5)
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April 3rd, 2009 at 12:57 pm
Shouldn’t really be the Dinosaurs with Lasers Party?
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:44 pm
The Sons of FRED.
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:45 pm
I don’t care what the formal name is, whether it’s “Constitution Party” or “Conservative Party” or whatever. Every party has a nickname, and that’s what’s important. Republicans are “the GOP;” Greens are “the environutjobs;” the Peace and Freedom Party is “those commies,” a nickname they share with the Democrats. The new party’s nickname has to be the Browncoats, and the first commenter really should have caught that.
Then we can punch the gorram hippies.
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:49 pm
FREEDOM ISN’T FREE,IT’S PLAIN TO SEE,
BUT ALAS IT’S FLEETING FROM THEE AND ME,
THE GREAT UNWASHED IN ALL THEIR GLORY,
DEVOURS IT’S CORPSE OH SO GORY,
UPON DEAF EARS WILL FALL OUR PLEA.
THE DECK IT IS STACKED, DON’T YOU KNOW,
DEWEY AND HIS BOYS PLANNED IT FROM THE GITGO,
BRAINWASH THE YOUNG, AND THE TRAP IS SPRUNG,
THEY WILL GROW UP LOVING MAO TSE TUNG,
THE CHAINS OF SOCIALISM THEY HOPE TO BESTOW.
NOT TO BE OUTDONE BY THE PEDAGOGUES EXTANT,
WE ARE CONSTANTLY BOMBARDED BY MEDIA CANT,
THE TRUTH TO THEM, IT IS A STRANGER,
FREEDOM AND CAPITALISM THEY PERCEIVE AS DANGER,
THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM THEIR LEFTIST RANT.
NOT TO BE LAST TO THIS CLUSTER FOXTROT,
THE POLITICAL WHORES ARE HOT TO BE BOUGHT,
THESE SPINELESS EUNUCHS ARE ALL A TWITTER,
PRANCING AROUND IN ALL THEIR GLITTER,
NARY A ONE IS WORTH A BUCKET OF SNOT.
morons
April 3rd, 2009 at 1:53 pm
SSTBO==socialism sucks the big one.
FUBIJAR==f–k you buddy, I’m just a republican.
KMAGYOYO==kiss my ass guys,you’re on your own.
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:04 pm
While “Liberty Ninjas” has a nice ring to it, “Hippie Punchers” already has name recognition thanks to your FredShirt (I wonder if TheFred ever bought one of the shirts, now that he knows about IMAO? *shrugs*).
The “Super Awesomes” is reserved for the Fred & SarahP Conservative Independent ticket in 2012….dang, I just got a tingle up my leg thinking about that level of awesomeness in the White House.
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Anyonebutobamatarians,
[I'm tired of running against. America is super awesome; there is plenty to run for. -Ed.]
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:13 pm
Conservative Gun Toters – “Conserving ammo by shooting straighter”
Money Keepers of America – “Get your hands out of my pocket or I’ll cut ya”
The Achievement Party – “Shut up and maybe we will keep feeding you… maybe”
Anti-Global Support Party – “We’ve had enough of the rest of the world taking our money”
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:18 pm
I like “Liberty Ninja-Pirate Hippy Punchers”. Course that much awesome is probably illegal.
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:27 pm
The Last Real Americans.
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:37 pm
American Ronin is the best suggestion I’ve heard in forever. Now bring back your 1911 logo.
April 3rd, 2009 at 2:50 pm
Wolverines!
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:07 pm
I like the Hippie Punchers…..How bout the Desendents of Liberty? Or even the kick the snot outta you stupid hippie,commie, socialist pinko a$$holes party.
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:32 pm
I keep thinking about Nebraska’s non-partisan, unicameral legislature approach to politics.
But I’ll play anyway:
“The Second American Revolution Party”
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:33 pm
I completely agree, the republican party has been so tarnished by RINOs we might as well be liberals.
but for the name
supersonironifonicans
funscott
monday tuesday wendsday thursday friday saturday sunday
or my favorite “THE RESISTY!”
the first group was from ATHF, and the second, from Invader zim.
or my own idea:
WOLVERINES! (damnit, i just checked again if anybody beat me to it….oh well ONE MORE VOTE FOR WOLVERINES!)
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:38 pm
I, of course, cast the third vote for “Wolverines!”
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:47 pm
The Borg.
Not your father’s Republican Party.
Big Brass Ones!
We aim to misbehave.
The Adult Party.
April 3rd, 2009 at 3:59 pm
How about the “Puppy Blenderers”? It’s kinda catchy.
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:03 pm
I vote for American Ronin.
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:07 pm
I like option #6.
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:18 pm
Why not just “The AMERICAN”party ? ’bout says it all, doesnt it
April 3rd, 2009 at 4:32 pm
I only hope Newt, the conservative ideal, virtuous, righteous, steadfast, loyal and true will be there to lead us to the promised land.
Newt campain rally song:
I’m a cheater, I’m your leader
Hey I’m white, that makes it right
The women I choose, I abuse
But vote for me Newt, so I too can loot
The nations wealth, with cunning and stealth
I’ll stop greenhouse gases, by selling you passes
Restore white pride, take my fantasy ride
Make America stronger, and diddle longer
So Vote Newt now, I’ll show you how.
An American hero, like Bill and Zero
A new day, a new tomorrow, Newt wipes away all your sorrow.
Campaing themes:
Newt, the best that America has to offer.
Contract on America
Cheaters always win and smilers always lose
Want O to turn your stomach or me?
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:11 pm
Aquamen!
The Moon-Nukers!
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:12 pm
I like American Ronin
and Wolverines
Where would we hold the meetings? Will there be bacon? Will you carpool with me?
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:24 pm
Seriously, how about “The Individualist Party’. It’s all inclusive and all about freedom.
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:40 pm
#24 carpooling is a hippie thing. you could be punched for that. However, if you bring bacon, you may be forgiven.
April 3rd, 2009 at 5:43 pm
Wouldn’t it just be easier to go back to having a SECOND party?
[Yeah, but then we don't get the fun of coming up with a name. -Ed.]
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:00 pm
-Mavericky Ninjas
Gotta love ninjas…
“Peace… except for you.”
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:02 pm
Yes! Let’s all be individualists together!
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:07 pm
How ’bout the LiveFreeOrWe’llPunchYouForBeingAhippie Party or LiveFreeOrWe’llSendYouToTheSwissSuicideCompany? Also the PalinAerialWolfKillers has a nice ring to it.
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:07 pm
“Yes! Let’s all be individualists together!”
Gimmie a break…you what the hell I’m talking about!
April 3rd, 2009 at 6:13 pm
Sons of Fred has my vote.
“Bitter Clingers” can be the nickname.
April 3rd, 2009 at 7:08 pm
I don’t know, the ‘Sons of Fred’ sounds like some kind of ultra right-wing paramilitary force established to punch hippies and secure the borders.
When did you say the meetings were held?
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:04 pm
Guts Girls and Guys
April 3rd, 2009 at 10:40 pm
* The Crazy ’76s
* Free Will-O-Crats
*
The Jeffersons* Rightards
* Re-Republicans
* Kiss
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:35 pm
The Anti-American Socialist Party.
The leftards won’t know what hit them.
April 3rd, 2009 at 11:51 pm
Thought-criminals! Because that’s what we are going to be if things keep up at this rate! It’s so descriptive.
April 4th, 2009 at 1:18 am
The Pee Off The Porchers
April 4th, 2009 at 2:01 am
“I am all too afraid that a historian, a hundred years from now, will footnote America as a historical curiosity where people once enjoyed private property rights and limited government but it all returned to mankind’s normal state of affairs – arbitrary abuse and control by the powerful elite.”
– Walter Williams, A Minority View (column) 4/2/09
Au-thor-i-tar-i-an (a thor ‘i tar e an) adj. Blind submission and absolute, unquestioned obedience to authority. authoritorian n. authoritative adj.
The Anti-Authoritarian Party.
April 4th, 2009 at 2:20 am
island girl, you forgot the guns
how can we incorporate james bond and batman into all this? they didn’t take no stuff from no one.
#11 shawn…good call, gotta bring back the 1911 logo…LONG LIVE THE UNDERGROUND!
HEY! What if we are the Mole Party, you know, the underground dwellers?
April 4th, 2009 at 6:38 am
The Neofederalist Party
Conjures up comparisons to the parties of the founding fathers’ day.
Indicates a primary objective: Re-assert Constitutional limits on the scope of the federal .gov’s duties.
Guns. Lots of guns.
Sounds a bit like New Federalism which was a Nixon talking point. Any invocation of Richard Nixon will instantly make hippies’ brains melt.
We should have propaganda featuring Liberty and Justice making out.
April 4th, 2009 at 8:38 am
The Neofederalist Party? I’d join that in a heartbeat.
April 4th, 2009 at 9:59 am
So what is the Republican Party for? Buncha little kittens with balls of yarn.
I agree with 27. Son of Bob (h/t) despite your comment. But if you insist on cool names, then let’s dig back into history for our founding principles, and re-launch the FEDERALIST PARTY. National problems do not generally require Federal solutions.
April 4th, 2009 at 10:44 am
41. George guy: You must’ve got your post up while I was writing mine. Good thinking!
April 4th, 2009 at 1:30 pm
The Testicular Fortitude Party (TFP)
Sons of Washington
GOP (God and Ordnance Party)
April 4th, 2009 at 3:54 pm
FIX-ITT Party
Free men (et al human beings)
In
Excellence
Instead of
Traitorous
Terrorists
April 4th, 2009 at 9:27 pm
Down with the socialist bullshit party!
Fighting laser squirrels could be our symbol
April 4th, 2009 at 10:01 pm
How about the Ty Cobb party!!!
Or maybe the Anti baby scraping,automatic weapon carrying,Man woman marraige loving,SUV driving,let failing company fail agreeing,no daddy= no more babies preaching,my kid IS better than you kid,teleprompter smashing,no I am not paying for your house and car bitch,taxes are for pussys,1000 mile fence with gun towers building,Tim Giethner imprisoning,Nancy Pelosi bitch slapping,Great American take back OUR country PARTY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Or just the New Patriot Warrior party.
Problem is ,no one has the balls to step up.
April 4th, 2009 at 11:07 pm
The Ferocious Federalists
The Socialist Snatchers
April 4th, 2009 at 11:08 pm
I get a lot of “your comment awaiting moderation” and sometimes they don’t make the grade here…
April 5th, 2009 at 12:49 am
All the good ones seem to be taken, and Frank wants something positive, but negative, like the anti-communists…
How about,
April 5th, 2009 at 12:51 am
Sorry, posted before I was ready,
How, about the Beer Drinking, Gun Shooting, Pro-America Testicle Owning Party.
April 5th, 2009 at 12:52 am
that should be not negative, not but negative.
April 5th, 2009 at 5:40 pm
How about:
Donkey Punchers
Moon Nukers
Bacon Aficionados
We could have a motto “BBQ Pork, Not Government Pork” Meetings would involve BBQing and beer.
April 5th, 2009 at 9:34 pm
Warrior Cowboy Party
Gunfighter Freedom Party
Comanche Ninja Party
American Samurai Party
Ass Kicking Super Warrior Party
Freedom Loving Fighter’s Party
Jacksonian Party (for Andrew Jackson)
April 5th, 2009 at 10:37 pm
So far we have 4 votes for Wolverines,
3 votes for Sons of Fred,
3 votes for American Ronin,
3 votes for The NeoFederalist Party,
2 votes for The Individualist Party,
and 1 vote each for everything else suggested.
That’s the problem with rugged indivdualism; we’re all a ‘Party of One’. Organizing Conservatives is going to be like herding cats. The libs (ptui) have it easier. Their core constituancy WANTS to be led. We just want to be left the h*ll alone.
The Leave Us The H*ll Alone Party.
April 6th, 2009 at 11:28 am
The Constructionist Party. Strict Constructionism applied to all law would kill the bad ones out of the gate and ensure the bad stuff stays out.
April 6th, 2009 at 12:31 pm
The People’s Front of Judea.
April 6th, 2009 at 1:10 pm
Per chocolatier007 suggestion, I amend a party name to:
The Guts Girls Guys and Guns Party
April 6th, 2009 at 10:27 pm
Thanks to Joel Leggett for leaving Southern Appeal. My votes on your party names:
Warrior Cowboy Party ***
Gunfighter Freedom Party *****
Comanche Ninja Party **
American Samurai Party **
Ass Kicking Super Warrior Party *****
Freedom Loving Fighter’s Party ***
Jacksonian Party (for Andrew Jackson ****
April 6th, 2009 at 10:38 pm
Oh, and 2 votes for Hippie Punchers. Sorry.
I wanna change my vote.
make that 2 votes for Guts, Girls, Guys and Guns Party.
April 6th, 2009 at 10:44 pm
The Constructionist Party
Suggested motto: “I’m a Constructionist, not an Obstructionist!”
Too many syllables?