In the GMail

Obama wrote me back to my e-mail from the other day:


I know change is scary and confusing, but that doesn’t mean you should direct all your cracker rage at me. I’m sorry you had plans for your money, but we don’t all get what we want. What’s more important is that I get what I want which is what the country needs. We all other than me have to make sacrifices. And I borrowed your golf clubs.

President Obama

Graaah! What a jerk! Here’s what I wrote back:


YOU’RE THE CRACKER!!! You don’t have any plans! You don’t even know what’s in those bills! And you don’t get what you want, which is to not suck so much! What this country needs is for you to announce to everyone, “I’m a stupid dummy dumb.” And then you should resign and get a job more to your skill level like Walmart greeter.

And you should have asked before taking my golf clubs! I need those to control the local squirrel population!

-Frank J.

I told him good. Hopefully he’ll resign now and return my clubs.

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  1. Can you imagine him greeting Walmart customers with that pious, preaching, ghetto-pulpit voice of his?

    Obama: “Hi. WELcome to WALmart, folks”

    Walter: “Get your sh!t and get out.”

    (Kind of a Jeff Dunham role reversal kind of thing…)


  2. @Jimmy

    That new Jeff Dunham show has been a lot funnier then expected. Now and then i roll my eyes but sometimes i spit up fluids they may be spinal fluids im not sure thats normal maybe i should get thasdfasdfuiwefnbalwe;jklfjf


  3. For those of us that are GMail clueless, does your correspondence first go to a central location called the G-Spot?
    What does that ‘kthxbai’ stand for? Pretty sure it doesn’t mean hugs and kisses.

    A Havahart trap and a drowning tank is a much more effective means of controlling the squirrel population. Just make sure to bury the bodies deep enough, so that your dog doesn’t dig them up again.

    Why would you want to spoil our Wal-Mart shopping experience that way, Frank?



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