Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The most interesting feature incorporated into Google Glasses…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
The most interesting feature incorporated into Google Glasses…
…they allow you to Go Ogle someone without looking directly at them.
…the eye movement drone control feature that was only supposed to be added to Obama’s pair
…the rose tinted glass.
…they compensate for beer goggles so you never end up going home with an ugly chick after last call.
…They automatically pop the IMAO Straight line of the day at 12:00 noon EST
…will be filters that block the user from seeing ceratin things, like Veteran’s Day, Easter Day, Memorial Day…
… is that they will leave the wearer with an inexplicable hatred of Apple.
… will be collecting everything you see and sending it back to the Google mothership. (Sadly, this is probably true, not a joke.)
…is whatever the Chinese Communist Party says it’s most interesting feature is.
… is that they will use rodney dill’s avatar as their spokesman.
is that they require 2 D batteries (not included)
… is how it manages to put banner ads into your every waking moment.
… is that one guy with a blue smiley face icon where his head should be.
… is now you can ignore the world around you without even having to look down at a screen.
…is that the redneck version will preface each recording with, “Hey y’all watch this!”.
… is that they will (like Google) be polarized.
… is that you can look up “look up” while you look up.
… is that you can giggle at a gaggle of Google goggles.
…is how Rowdy Roddy Piper will force some people to some people to wear them.
…is the entitlement detector.
…is that it’s compatible with the Obamaphone, which unlocks the “evil rich people” detector function.
…they allow you to watch porn during sex.
…is free refills.
…is that it’s actually a drone in disguise.
I don’t always use The Most Interesting Feature Incorporated Into Google Glasses…but when I do it’s the one that mimics the sunglasses from “They Live!”
@Oppo #9, I resemble that remark.
(Actually I borrowed Marvin the Martian’s eyes)
. . . is that the glasses watch you while you’re watching other things.
…they have a miniaturized translation device that let’s you understand Joe Biden perfectly… It’s really kinda scary.
…is their ability to update Java without reminding you every 15 minutes
…is their peculiar requirement to be fed blood twice a day
… is the blue button on the side of them that activates the Omega 13
…is how when you look at a politician, they automatically translate liberal-speak to CCTL (common conservative truth language)
…is how, after wearing them for a few hours straight, you can hear a voice telling you how you will be assimilated
…is how they make my sunglasses cower in fear
…they make everyone look like XKCD stick figures.
…They make a half empty 16oz. cup look like its really half full.
…is the photo gallery of famous socialists that appear across the lenses during every Christian holiday.
…they won’t tell you if the glasses are half empty or half full, but will tell you the glasses are over-designed by 100%.
…is ObamaVision. The public will now be able see what Obama sees. And Obama only sees poverty, he sees sick old people without medical, he sees gun shot victims and gays who only want to raise children as loving caring married parents.
…is the Obama-prompter feature. No longer will extra vehicles be needed to transport teleprompters saving the taxpayer 1 trillion a year. However Congress has already made up for that difference and vowed to add an additional 2 trillion in spending to make up for it.
…is the ability to take video of your friends while they taunt you for being a big enough loser to wear Google glasses.
…is how its transmitter fries your brain.
“This is a healthy brain…” 😎
“This is your brain on Google Glasses…” ┌∩┐(◣_◢)┌∩┐
…is curing you of not having a lazy eye.
…your mugger will not have to stupidly post his crime on Facebook himself.
…your perv quotient will equal the number of times you accidentally use the bathroom.
…every single right to privacy advocate will post every single waking moment on the internet.
… is the ability to give people cursor-y glances.
… is that they include thousands of cookies every day.
… is they come with a lawsuit template, for the first person who walks into a pillar while googling “Lindsay Lohan.”
… is that you can criticize the specs on someone else’s eyes, while ignoring what’s beamed into your own.
The most interesting feature incorporated into Google Glasses…
…will be the automatic recording feature asked for by the DHS, for the safety of the nation.
…will be the new “Funhouse mirror” feature.
…will be the price.
…will be the one that you don’t want.
…will be advertised on the backs of Comic books.
If you try to call up IMAO.US it displays the error message: PCLOADLETTER.
… is that you’ll be able to use your heads-up display while your head is down. How messed up is that?
…they can even make Michelle’s butt look small.
is the x-ray vision that allows us to see under women’s clothing that was promised to us so many years ago in the back of the comic books
… is the option to use Bingnoculars instead.
…is if your head is where the sun don’t shine, you won’t see sh!t.
The most interesting feature incorporated into Google Glasses…
…is that they aren’t really yours.
..is that they included “historical imagery” on a personal basis, which together with “birds eye view” ……
…are the three styles available, gay, straight and bi focal.
…is the expected windfall profits from the sale of Google-Burkas.
…is the sticker that says “Will the last person left with any dignity please turn off your rights or turn on your lights”.
…is the jingle:
I wear my Google Glasses at night
So I can so I can
See the ending of my dignity…
They will get me kicked out of all the places I would rather be. bars, strip clubs, movies, bars . Did I say strip clubs? other places too.
…is the way you end up looking like Geordi LaForge without the awesomeness of ever actually being on a starship.
…you get to experience the world in 3D. -Just like the movies.
…They make going outside not suck by superimposing the internet over real life.
…it functions as a wearable teleprompter.
…Like all google products, they will constantly bug you to sync everything with social media, even though not having to talk to people is the reason I use the internet in the first place.
…You can watch TV anywhere in the world, but EVERY single channel will have Obama’s State of the Union Addresses start to finish just like regular TV.
…It comes with a port of Ad Block Plus already installed that also blocks ads in real life, like billboards and democratic party fund raising commercials.
…advanced audio sensors that listen to your significant other for you.
…a live feed from the debt clock
…a reinforced casing that lets you clutch it furiously while screaming “It’s Over 9000!” without breaking.
…it’s so ugly that it automatically cancels out other people’s desire to punch you in the face for being a smug hipster that can drop $1500 on goofy sunglasses
…a HUD that displays your remaining health, shields, ammo, and grenades as convenient status bars
…it downloads memes, videos of animals being adorable, and porn directly into your face
…it won’t have that annoying Windows Update thing that restarts your computer unless you click on it every 15 minutes
… the ability to hack aircraft autopilots remotely
…a retractable robotic middle finger to automatically flip off flight attendants that tell you to turn off your angry birds.
…gaydar?
…All your speech options are listed for you in a dialogue box, just like Skyrim or KOTOR. Biden is required to wear one, or he doesn’t get ice cream for desert.
… LAZOR VISION!!twelve!!
…it allows IP owners to monitor your behavior with DRM 24/7 for cheating and piracy. I hope you paid for that copy of Beauty and the Beast….
…a GPS map service so much more accurate than Apple Maps that it can find a G-Spot.
…it gives you the power to punch wood from trees, just like in Minecraft.
…I Know Kung Fu. Oddly, the only other thing that works this way with Google Glass are TV Tropes.
…it makes the real world’s graphics almost as realistic as Crysis 3.
…will turn your rush hour trip into Grand Theft Auto
… is the “On Oaf” switch.
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