BTW, here is something to check out while I’m not posting if you want more humor.

I’m going to be real busy this next week, so there may be a shortage of free ice cream. I’ll try to come up with a new Rumsfeld post on Wednesday, though, unless everyone is tired of those 🙂
Anyway, so as to thank my readers and not leave you empty handed, here is something I wrote a long time ago (I believe Freshman year in college, so either in ’97 or ’98). See if you can come up with any additions.

Because of the end of the Cold War, much of the focus on Communism has ended, and thus many people are now ignorant of exactly what is. Some people may even be Communists and not even know it. So, for the benefit of all, I present this helpful list of the symptoms of Communism.
You might be a Communist if…
…when you were five you asked Santa for a pony, a teddy bear, and a dictatorship of the proletariat.
…a troop of Boy Scouts earned their merit badge for defending democracy by kicking your ass.
…you ever wonder aloud, “I bet we could pay more in taxes.”
…you prefer small, fuel-efficent cars.
…you wish to end the embargo on Cuba for any other reason than that you like Cuban cigars.
…you’re lazy and want to get paid for it.
…you prefer red grapes to green.
…every conversation your in moves to the subject of the dissolution of private property.
…your name is Richard Gephardt.
…you sympathized with the villains in 80’s action films.
…as a child you admired the structure of the Smurf society.
…you’re for the metric system.
…you think that religion is the opiate of the people, and, besides, you prefer marijuana.
…you don’t mind being poor and miserable as long as everyone else is equally so.
…you read Animal Farm and admired the sheep’s loyalty.
…the mention of the name “Reagan” causes you pangs of fear.
…you thinks warts are a distinguishing feature.
…you’ve been offended by much of this.
…every time you walk into a room, people shout, “Hey! There’s that dirty Commie!”
…you’re stupid and evil.
…every time you speak, you piss me off. (also a symptom of environmentalism, feminism, socialism, gun control advocacy, being a Democrat, and general stupidity)
Remember: the only good Commie is a dead Commie.