In my biggest honor yet as a blogger, I have now been named Emperor Misha’s Imperial Secretary of War. I plan to honor this position by responding to all slights to the Empire with excessive force, by solving everything with violence, and by never choosing peace when war is a viable alternative. Some may disagree with these policies, and accordingly, some will die!
Idiotarianis delendae sunt!
Archive of entries posted on 4th February 2003
Links of the Day
Rachel Lucas now has merchandise, and the result is both cute and right-wing.
Oscar Jr. has insulted me and tried to outdo my scientific survey of bloggers’ ages (mine still has more digits). The official stance of IMAO is that we (meaning me) hate him. I have added a him to my blogroll so I can later de-link him (the ultimate insult to a blogger).
Tiffany has found a really short and silly libertarian quiz. Take it; it’s fun!
Watch Out, Everyone; They’re Prepared!
While everyone is distracted by the Columbia tragedy and increased movement on war with Iraq, North Korea want to remind us that they’re still frick’n nuts. They’ve announced they’re now prepared for us, saying, “Our military and people are in full combat readiness to cope with U.S. imperialist warmongers’ indiscriminate military and political moves under their strategy to dominate the Korean Peninsula.”
Okay, I need everyone’s help for this. Hold out your hands in front of you, palms facing outwards. Now pivot your hands side to side on your wrists while saying in a higher pitched voice, “Ooh, I’m scared!”
So you’re prepared for us, North Korea? Really? So, have you developed radar to detect our stealth bombers? Have you cruise missile proofed your buildings? Have you got a less goofy-looking leader? Did you develop pills you can swallow to keep you from being blown into a jillion pieces by a one-megaton blast? Do you all have magical powers now?
The only way North Korea’s military is “prepared” is if everyone is prepared to die. Soon as some weekend comes along when we have nothing better to do, we’ll just storm through that Commie country like they’re nothing and then dress Kim Jong Il in one of those court jester outfits and make him ride a unicycle for our amusement.
So what’s South Korea going to do with North Korea now that it’s on the brink of nuclear war? They’re going to send tourists there. They’re pretty sure they’ve cleared mines for a path through the Demilitarized Zone, so now they want to send tourists through that path to vacation in a country they’re technically at war with. First, to prove it’s safe, they’re going to send one hundred officials along that road. Everyone must be jumping to be a part of that party. Sounds like I found a new use for Democrat politicians, though: Demilitarized Zone testers.
Maybe at least it will be a new way for North Koreans to escape to South Korea. It’s pretty pathetic that anyway one in this world has to flee to China to escape oppression.