Yay! Frank Answers™!
Denny from Oklahoma asks:
If a tree fell in a forest and no one was around to hear it will the Green party ever win an election?
No. To win elections, Greens have to make sure we hear about every single tree that falls in the forest and then care about it… and we won’t.
Damn dirty trees can rot in hell for all I care. We have plastics and metals which are superior building materials to wood, and nice grass fields gives us plenty of oxygen. Forests are useless and should all fall and be unheard.
Dave F. from Burlington, CT writes:
I see that California is planning to issue drivers licenses to illegal aliens. Why would someone that drove here in a spaceship need a license?
Space aliens come to kill us, and it’s too hard to hit pedestrians with a spaceship.
Earl from Paris, France asks:
How come you can only make time for “Frank Answers” when you have shirts to sell?
Because I like money. I’m a freank’n capitalist; what do you want from me? Oh yeah, I forgot to mention it today – BUY MY SHIRT! They should be ready well before Christmas and are a perfect gift for anyone you know who doesn’t like terrorists.

Please keep the questions coming, <a href=”mailto:THISISSPAMTHISISSPAMace you’re from, I’ll randomly select one.