Previously on 24, there was a shootout, and Aaron grabbed Wayne and took him away. Jack interrogated Audrey until she asked about their relationship, and then he just freaking gave up, because he couldn’t stand to talk to her. But later they played kissy-face, and I yelled at the TV. Man-Girl told Jack where the nerve gas was going. Jack said it had to be incinerated. Chloe yelled at Jack to get out of there, man. Oh no! Is Jack dead? No, Keifer’s still in the opening credits, so I’m going with not dead yet.
BTW, last week, one of my commenters made a good point: If all it takes is incinerate the virus, then who cares if it goes out to people’s houses? They’re going to use the gas by incinerating it anyway… so big deal.

Audrey’s sitting with her hand over her face that Jack is alive. Oh yeah, Jack is alive and trying to revive Bierko, whom he carried out of the explosion.
Ok, now how many times do I have to say, “Is Bierko Robocop?” and how many times does Frank have to explain to me the difference between the two (Robocop’s in the car talking on the phone, Bierko is the Scottish-Chechnyan guy) before Joel Surnow realizes it’s just all too confusing? And how many times does Frank have to get frustrated and me explain to him that I have a medical condition that gives me a bad memory? And what was I saying? Oh yeah, and that medical condition is related to hormones, so he really shouldn’t mess with me, because hormonal women are scary.
Curtis says they need to go to CTU.
Jack calls Bill and Bill is walking away from Mr. F to talk, because she’s still trying to shut the place down. Jack tells Bill that he’s scared. I’m totally out on Jack. Pansy. Aaron wouldn’t be scared, he’d just kick pinkytoe. Tony wouldn’t be scared, he’d just kick pinkytoe. Jack’s now ascared.
Mr. F calls the Veep and Veep tells her to keep him informed and stop screwing up. Mr. F is talking to Mr. Sexual Harrassment, and SexHarrassman is talking about taking advantage of Audrey’s split loyalties.
Audrey and Bill are talking, and she doesn’t believe him that DHS is taking over. She says it’s impossible, but she doesn’t know she’s on TV. Anything is possible on TV. Have you ever seen ALIAS? You can fly to Korea from L.A. and back in a half-hour, with a pit-stop at the Trattoria Dinardi in Rome to boot, and don’t forget how many times people can die before they’re really dead. I think Irina’s been dead like 1200 times already, so anything is possible.
Robocop is talking to the men chasing Wayne Palmer. Wayne, in a deleted scene last week, apparently knocked someone out & took their big gun, then they fought back, and Aaron showed up and plucked him up and put him in his van.
Wayne tells Aaron that David had a source inside the White House, Evelyn (Marty’s assistant). Evelyn and David were emailing, and info she gave him got him killed. Evelyn is really trying hard to get away from the compound. Wayne and Aaron show up to question Wayne, and Evelyn says she doesn’t know nothing and starts crying. He yells, she says that her little girl has been kidnapped. She can get her daughter back if she gives them the evidence on the people orchestrating the day’s events. Aaron agrees with Wayne and says the bad guys will kill both her and her daughter because she knows too much. Evelyn agrees to give Wayne and Aaron the evidence if they’ll get her daughter back. Apparently this thing is super-big. Ok, now reality check (stay with me, I know this is fiction, but give me a moment). How long have they had her kid, because she only just this hour started acting hinky about it. When Marty was getting felt up by Walt, she didn’t seem stressed about anything other than Mrs. Logan.
Single White Harrassed Female and Chloe are working. DHS walks in in a big posse. Some blonde is taking over Chloe’s station, and Chloe’s like, who are you? You can’t have my keycard either! Mr. F makes the announcement that DHS is taking over. SexHarrassman asks to see Audrey in the situation room. She should accuse him of stuff and stuff.
Wayne is talking to Jack on the phone and tells Jack that Evelyn’s daughter is the new Kim. Oh yay, I was worried we’d only have one kid in the way this season! Now that Derek finally has a tissue, we get a new kid to focus on. Except she’s probably not as stupid as Kim.
SexHarrassman picked the wrong girl to try to convince to make a statement that CTU was totally at fault for everything that happened today. And Audrey isn’t playing, so SexHarrassman threatens to show her at fault too. She tells him to shove the statement up his pinkytoe, because she won’t help him justify his lies.
Audrey talks to Jack, and he says they really really need satellites and Chloe. Audrey says Veep Gardner told DHS to shut down CTU. Jack suspects the Veep. Jack says find a way to keep Chloe on. So Audrey goes upstairs and tells Mr. F and SexHarrassman that she changed her mind. She says the only way she’ll stick around is if Chloe stays and they assign Chloe to Audrey. Chloe’s gonna love that, having to hear every conversation where Jack and Audrey discuss their relationship while Chloe retasks a satellite every 5 minutes. Audrey signs the statement, with the name Audrey Heller Raines Bauer, and dots the i with a little heart.
Robocop tells his men to get moving on something or other, and there’s the little girl, and goodness, there always has to be a female to rescue. Kim, Audrey, Teri, Michelle, not Chloe (because she can totally take care of herself), Derek, and now this girl. Robocop says he’ll take care of the girl. I don’t think he means he’s making her oatmeal and tucking her in.
Evelyn talks to someone who says he’s on the way to meet her at her car.
Wayne and Aaron walk down the hall and run into the Veep, who’s super sorry that David’s dead and stuff. Aaron says Wayne came to bring him a trinket from David. Now the Veep is looking way too obvious, so I’m going with Estro.
Chloe looks annoyed at the DHS girl taking over her station. She goes to talk to Bill, who says it’s not over. She says, “It sure seems over, everyone is getting fired, end of season.” SexHarrassman tells Chloe she can stay, and she’s like, what if I don’t want to, and he’s like, Audrey signed something saying Bill screwed up everything. Bill says, but that’s not true, why would you do that? I’ve known you for years (18 months)! She says, but it’s true. You suck. She’s trying to say that she’s in a Flank Two position with her eyes, but Bill doesn’t get it.
The Veep goes into President Estro’s office and I’m realizing we haven’t seen Mike Novick in this episode. Veep asks Estro about Wayne Palmer being there, and Estro’s like, “What? He made it through all … uh… I mean, he uh… was here? What for?” and the Veep is like, “You’re sure he wasn’t here to see you??” and I’m thinking Estro’s doing super secret stuff, and the Veep is on to him.
Wayne & Evelyn are in the car on their way to meet Robocop. Robo calls Evelyn and asks why Wayne Palmer was at the compound. “Uh, I didn’t see him. Honest, I’ve never seen a black man in person!” Robocop says if she’s lying, Kimmie Jr. is gonna suffer. She raises her voice, so he believes her. He gives her an address, and Jack calls Audrey to tell her what he needs the satellite for. Chloe tells Audrey, I hate you, you’re a jerkface! You go away! “But Chloe, Jack needs you.” “Oh, Jack needs me? How may I be of service? Can I get you some chamomile tea?” And Audrey tells her she had no choice but to say that stuff so she could keep Chloe. Meanwhile, Bill gives Audrey the “Flank Off” look as he’s walking out the door.
Evelyn and Wayne go to an old abandoned farmhouse (is that the same farmhouse from Hannibal?) (you know, abandoned farmhouses are great meeting places. If anyone ever wants to meet me at one, I’ll bring my own pinata, and we’ll have a grand old time in the dark in the middle of nowhere. I’m all for having parties at abandoned farmhouses.).
Jack meets them there and has Chloe check out the satellite. She says there are 10 bad people. Wayne, Evelyn, and Jack go to get the girl. Wayne really wants to go, Jack says no at first, and then Wayne says, “Jack, I’m a Marine.” Jack says, “You never saw combat. There’s a difference between training to kill and actually killing.” SarahK says, “But he trained to kill Marine-style, I think he can handle himself.” I’m thinking Kimmie Jr. lives and Evelyn dies.
Chloe is helping Jack and Wayne, Evelyn has left and is going to get her daughter and give up the info. Wayne and Jack start in toward where Robo’s men are.
Robo’s checking in, the men don’t see Evelyn. Jack checks out his real-time satellite images on his Treo and kills 1 of the 10 with a suppressed pistol. Help! Help! I’m being suppressed! 10% down! Jack says they’re running out of time so they have to split up. He changes his mind, kills another, then tells Wayne to go. Wayne makes his first kill, and he’s all cool with that, because Marines were made for killin’ and protecting the innocent. Jack slits one’s throat. 4 down. Jack makes his latest kill’s radio all distorted and talks through it, tells Robo that everything’s ok.
Evelyn gets her daughter back, there’s a big shootout, Evelyn is hit in the leg (shocker!), Kimmie Jr. is ok, Estro is shown on the phone with Robocop asking why there was a problem with Evelyn. Well, I didn’t expect Jack Bauer to show up.
And where’s Curtis? Did he get fired? Is he coming back? Are they getting rid of the field agents too? Is Wayne the new Rico Suave? If so, I’ll be sorely disappointed.
Next week, Estro tells Robocop that Jack is Robo’s responsibility. Jack tells Audrey that they can’t trust anyone, and I’m going, well, I don’t so much trust Audrey. How do we know she’s not in on it? And why isn’t Tony alive yet? Audrey tells Chloe, “It’s starting. My period. It’s starting. This is a bad time for that. Can I borrow a tampon?” And Chloe grimaces and says, “Borrow? No.” Mr. F says no one can stop Audrey from meeting with Jack because they need that meeting to take place (yay! maybe Audrey dies!). Jack sports a loverly Walther P99 (my, that’s a pretty gun, I’m so glad I have one). Jack tells Evelyn he’s gonna get her to a hospital. Aaron tells Jack that every military agency is going to be after him. Jack decides to rob a bank and gets trapped inside by a tank and Robocop’s guys.
questions: so the whole thing with Walt… Estro did know about it? didn’t? is a good actor? is Mike in on this? Is Estro ever going to get punched? Is Aaron going to do the punching?