Slogans for the Kwazy Kos Kids

DarkSyde at the DailyKos is trying to find a short, unifying slogan for the Kwazy Kos Kids. He has his suggestions, but here are mine:
* I’m Running Out of Tin-Foil!
* Karl Rove Stole My Weed!
* Stop Laughing at Me!
* “Don’t Eat Paint Chips” Is One of Bush’s Lies!
* You Say “Angry” Isn’t a Platform? YOU SHUT UP!!!
* You’re Either With Us, Or I’m Going to Bite You
* No, You’re Mentally Retarded and Probably Insane!
* Bush Lied, I Soiled Myself and Cried
* I Don’t Want the Pills! Don’t Make Me Take the Pills!
* Aw Tawt Aw Taw a Putty Tat!
* Why Do You Care If I Forgot to Wear Pants When There Is an Illegal War Going On?
* YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!
Come on! Help out the Kos Kids in their slogan search in the comments.

134 Comments

  1. “I’ve always been kind of a pacifist. When I was a kid, my father told me, “Never hit anyone in anger, unless you’re absolutely sure you can get away with it.” I don’t know what kind of soldier I’m gonna make, but I want you guys to know that if we ever get into really heavy combat… I’ll be right behind you guys. Every step of the way!” John Murtha

  2. Speaking $&#^ truth to ^%#@& power aginst those &%^#@-&%&^ %&$^^ in Washington who %&$#&#%& every *%&$#%$& they can %&$^^% and think they can %#$&%$* get away with it!
    %&#$%& them!

  3. ussjimmycarter,
    “Porto…you are a dickhead!”
    Such a smart, witty and fun comment!
    When you can not refute… Thank you a lot for the fun you make me have.
    Every decision is based on one of this feelings: fear or love. You have already chosen fear but I still love you.
    In relation to the excision it reminds me that you must condemn the female excision but support the male circumcision, or what?

  4. How about:
    Daily Kos – Where Every Day is Like Fitzmas!
    Rejecting Reality and Substituting Our Own Since 2001!
    Daily Kos – It’ll be different this time. No, really. Honestly. Why are you looking at me like that?

  5. Daily Kos: To Che or not to Che
    Daily Kos: You say Kim Jong Il with tourettes syndrome going through the terrible twos while on acid like it’s a bad thing. So F**k you!
    Daily Kos: And the D&D figures in my basement hate Bush, too! With a plus six die-roll modifier on casting magic sh*t-fit!

  6. Daily Kos:
    ‘It’s not FAIR! I should get my way, always!!!’
    ‘Gimme! It’s mine!’
    ‘We’re better then you, because we think we’re smarter.’
    ‘Our batting average is almost as good as Bob Ueker’s’
    ‘Yeah, we whine and cry a lot, but on the plus side, er….um…we’ll get back to you on that.’

  7. Oh, I truly loath my myself. The only thing I hate more is Republicans. Why can’t they disappear? Why can’t we all just disappear? If we had never existed, the world would have been a much better place. I feel so guilty. Why don’t the Republicans share my guilt? Don’t they realize that we have ruined the entire earth. They must be stupid. I wish all stupid people would disappear. Oh, wait that would be unfair. We should all disappear. Than there would be all those Chinese, Indians, and Europeans messing up the world. I wish they would disappear too. Wait, I can’t wish such things on other cultures. If they want to destroy the world it’s their business, but I won’t be part of it. Oh, I feel so powerless. Why don’t those Republicans feel and hopeless and powerless as I do? They just don’t get it. Why don’t they mind their own business and disappear. Yes, that would solve everything. We could all just never have existed. That would be excellent. We wouldn’t have any problems than.

  8. FrankJ:
    If you had actually read the post on Daily Kos you link to, you would know that they are looking for a Democratic slogan — not a slogan for Daily Kos and its members.
    Of course, you have never let facts or your lack of reading comprehension deter you from writing your pathetic attempts at political humor before, so why start now?
    That said, how about a new slogan or tagline for IMAO? Unfair, Unbalanced and Unmedicated is so early 00’s.
    Here are some suggestions:
    -Not funny since 2002
    -Humor for the deluded wingnut
    -Your single source for crappy humor AND crappy sci-fi.
    -Hide, hide, the immigrants are coming!
    -PLEASE PLEASE BUY OUR T-SHIRTS! WE NEED MONEY TO BUY MORE COOL GUNS AND SAMAURI SWORDS!
    Just some ideas. Feel free to use them.
    Peace,
    Monkey Faced Liberal

  9. MFL~
    If’n we’re gonna get off track in these comments, allow me to further derail…
    ALL~
    Now its time to give our buddy MFL the tag lines that he/she/it (whaddevah) deserves:
    “MFL~ Look at me… I got me a comment posted in a REAL Blog!”
    “MFL~ Trolling since… at least yesterday.”
    “MFL~ Kiss my multi-culti- homo-lovin’ delusional, lithium deprived Hind End”
    “MFL~ I wouldn’t know a sound argument if howard dean and the DK fed it directly into my brain through subliminal messages while I was high on my peyote.”
    “MFL~… What were we talking about again?”
    What else is there?

  10. Samurai swords are awesome.
    I am also quite surprised that MFL actually used correct grammar and spelling, unlike the vast majority of those who agree with his modern liberal ideals. You can practically see the spittle on the screen from some of the angry posts on dailykos and the democratic underground.

  11. To the lobotomised ussjimmy and J: If your best at humour is abuse and insult I can abuse and insult you in five languages and you would not even understand your own.
    Peace and Love

  12. MFL,
    If it’s straight up debate you want there are thousands of conservative sites where you can debate or troll to your hearts content. Many of them will even put up with a liberal troll such as yourself.
    Yet you come here looking for serious debate and complain when you are unfairly abused or lampooned. Of all the places you could go you try to critique an outrageous political satire site and pretend that it is a straight up representation of the political views of it’s readers. As I said, there are plenty of places to go if you want straight up political debate. Don’t pretend their isn’t.

  13. Daily Kos: Like Wal-Mart for Weirdos
    Dailiy Kos: We keep the Moonbats so you don’t have to.
    Some famous slogans, modified slightly:
    The Democrats: We take a beating and keep on cheating.
    The Democrats: A mind is a terrible thing to waste. So you’d better vote for someone else.
    Daily Kos: Breakfast of Moonbats!
    Daily Kos: Look Ma, no reality!
    Daily Kos: Every Kook begins with Ko’s.
    Got Kos? Sorry.
    Do The Screw! Daily Kos!
    I’ll stop now. LOL
    Orion

  14. porto
    “To the lobotomised ussjimmy and J: If your best at humour is abuse and insult I can abuse and insult you in five languages and you would not even understand your own.”
    Go for it, I’ve already been abused in several languages, what’s a few more.
    Personally, I prefer to abuse myself in Latin while lounging around nude, watching gladiator movies. I’ve also found that wearing lime green socks (3 of them) makes a perfectly dissonant accompaniment. Never fails to scare the hell out of the pizza delivery guy and the neighbor’s pets.
    Oh, enough of my strange fetishes. I thought that since we were off topic anyways, why not get way the hell off topic.
    Now where the hell did I leave my copy of Spartacus, anyway.
    PS: This wingnut hasn’t had his lobotomy yet.
    Still a danger to society,
    Neo

  15. Neo-andertal:
    “If it’s straight up debate you want”
    When did I say that I came here looking for straight up debate? I come here expecting to find biting political humor…. HA HA Ha.
    Tried to keep a straight face on that one. Sorry.
    Actually, I come here to help FrankJ become a better political humorist. It is part of me being a “bleeding heart” Monkey Faced Liberal — I care for those who need help.
    You see, good political humor requires one to accept the reality of the political situation — and then show the absurdity of that reality. (see P.J. O’Rourke, the Daily Show).
    Unfortunately, FrankJ is so busy living in his right-wing “fantasy world” he can’t embrace the political reality — and thus find the absurdity of it.
    Hopefully, I can help him break out of his “fantasy” — but I am not holding my breath.
    I mean, this is a guy in his 20’s who like to play with guns and swords. He thinks this pathetic excuse of a blog will help him become a successful author of sci-fi novels or political humor books.
    It is kinda sad really.
    Continued…

  16. Continued…
    “Complain when you are unfairly abused or lampooned.”
    When did I complain about being unfairly abused or lampooned?
    I have complained about the quality of the abuse or lampooning.
    I am a Monkey Faced Liberal for goodness sakes! Remember, the person you all dream of punching?
    Here I am, in your midst, and the best you all seem able to do in your so-called attempts to “abuse” me is make clichéd allusions to me being a homosexual.
    (And am I the only one freaked out a bit by ussjimmycarter’s references to sodomy or semen? I am just saying.)
    However, I refuse to buy into the “soft bigotry of low expectations” regarding commenters on bad political humor sites.
    I believe you ALL have the potential to respond to my posts with biting rejoinders that use facts and reason to weaken my points while also hurting my feelings.
    You just have to try harder. Come on — you can do it!
    Best Regards,
    Monkey Faced Liberal

  17. Thanks for the link porto,
    That was the dumbest thing I’ve read since last week when I mistook Walter Crackpipes bit for a real Moonbat rant. Only problem, Walter actually was making it up.

  18. Neo, I am goig to be magnanimous again.
    That dumbest thing is fact, not as Dan Brown fact. The Kos are only partly there or then they are on your side of the spectrum. I am not in the right left territorial ape spectrum.

  19. //MFL,
    Yet you keep coming back. Why is that?
    You like abuse, do you?//
    Such is why mfl critter does not complain about the abuse. This creature obviously lives for the abuse, enjoys it abundantly. Another reason not to reply; you’re feeding its sicko fantasy. The poor critter has no one to love it or pay attention to it(except Jesus), has a small ego in need of confirmation, is bored with the inane frothing at KOS, and thus it feels the negative attention it receives here confirms its existance and entertains it.
    Back to the topic, “The Democrats and KOS, not just represented by a braying jackass, but emulating one!!”

  20. Those weren’t very good slogans for me. Here are the ones that I use:
    “Look at me! Look at me!”
    “At least I have coprophagy to fall back on when my arm gets tired from flinging poo.”
    “Bitter because I’m too stupid to even be allowed to post on DK or DU.”
    “I threaten BusHitler every day on the internet and I can’t even get the Secret Service to notice me. So I try to get attention by posting here!”
    “I’m a liberal – I can’t be funny, just pathetic.”
    “Disgusting others almost as much as I disgust myself.”
    “Just because I live in a basement, have no sense of personal hygiene, no formal education, no respect for others, and I have an intellect beneath that of an especially dim fruit-bat doesn’t mean that you should ignore me.”
    Just wanted to make sure you don’t steal my slogans.
    Hail Satan,
    Monkey Faced Liberal
    p.s. My Kos slogan: “I’m one of Kos’ sacks!”

  21. “Attempting to polish turds on a daily basis.”
    “Logic is for Nazis!”
    “Unwashed Unthinking Unhinged 24/7/365.”
    “Thinking with our bongs since 2001.”
    “How can we be wrong when we feel so right?”

  22. “Keep in mind taking yourself too seriously hampers your ability to relate to others.”
    Unless of course you actually are lounging around the living room wearing nothing but three lime green socks and watching Ben-Hur and Spartacus for the 50th time.
    In that case you might want to take life a little more seriously before the cops show up and figure out something to arrest you for. There is such a thing as getting a wee bit too distracted by life’s absurdities too.

  23. “Fully supporting the candidacy of ”
    “Your daily source for meandering, uninformed, obscenity-filled ranting.”
    “Click on our ads or Karl Rove will eat your soul!”

  24. Neo-andertal,
    That was the recipe I took from a group advocating a Socialist overthrow of the government when I was on leave from the Navy in the early 70’s.
    Of course after they partook of their recipe, they were useless except to try to persuade others to do the overthrowing for them. That worked real well as you can tell.

  25. “Just ‘Kos’ you reached the bottom of the barrel doesn’t mean you should stop scraping!”
    “Where every day is Fitzmas.”
    “Rage Against the Meds!”
    “Your constant reminder of why you should never vote for a Democrat.”

  26. “To the lobotomised ussjimmy and J: If your best at humour is abuse and insult I can abuse and insult you in five languages and you would not even understand your own.
    Peace and Love
    Posted by: porto on June 21, 2006 02:08 PM”

    Porto~ Were you talking to me, too? Oh golly… can’t believe I missed that, moonbat! Wow~! Someone else hates me?! Gee golly!
    Can you speak five languages? Can you even speak one? I mean “peace and love” is good for that one Simpsons episode where they make fun of the X-Files and Monty Burns is all doped up and irradiated, but c’mon… that ain’t no language and you know it. I, on the other hand, speak four languages, but “Happy Hippy” is not one of them.
    So us all a favor… go to the store. Bypass the munchies and go to the hygiene section. Be cautious as they may call the Center for Disease Control to quarantine the area. If they haven’t quaratined the Piggly Wiggly, your next step is to pick up the following:
    -Shaving Cream
    -Razor
    -After Shave (Please, no brute or old spice)
    -Soap
    -Towel
    -Toothpaste
    -Nudie magazine (that is to mail to me, since you’re going to the store.)
    Got it?
    Now, when you get home, make sure you turn on the shower. (That’s that place in your house next to the porcelein throne you worship after a bad trip.)
    Turn on the water with the silver knob. Water will come out. Make sure you make a few adjustments as you don’t want to burn or freeze yourself.
    Apply above mentioned items LIBERALLY (which should come naturally to you as you already are pretty liberal) and then rinse off. The towel is to dry off afterward.
    Next, apply new PJ’s (a blogger must) and lounge around to the sultry sound of Tony Snow and Karl Rove…
    That is your mission… Should you choose to accept it.
    Oh, and one last thing… Pass this on to that Monkey Faced Liberal you pal around with.
    OUT

  27. MFL, you have a point? You mostly just say that whatever Frank J. said isn’t funny. How is that helping make him funnier? Oh wait, you were being sarcastic, right? So far your main purpose seems to be to say how superior you are to everyone here. Occasionally a person peeks through that pose, but overall you are tiresome. Less hateful than most trolls though. I’m hoping you will relax a little and maybe try to enjoy yourself, be a person here, not a liberal attitude. We conservatives can get a laugh out of the Daily Show, it doesn’t ruin our credentials as members of the VRWC. We won’t tell your compatriots if you chuckle once in awhile here too.

  28. Most Kos posts can be rendered down to:
    I HATE BU$HITLER-BURTON!!!!!!!!!! I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO I DO !!!!!!! I HATE’EM HATE’EM HATE’EM!!!! HATE BU$H HATE BU$H HATE BU$H! BU$H IS EVIL, THE DEVIL, THE SOURCE OF ALL THAT IS DARK, CRUEL AND INHUMAN!!!!!!!!
    NOTICE HOW EVERYTHING I SAY IS IN CAPS FOLLOWED BY ZILLIONS OF EXCLAMATION POINTS?!?!?!?!? IT MEANS THAT IM FULL OF PASSION AND THEREFORE CORRECT IN WHAT IM SAYING AND YOUR A STUPID REPUG POOPY HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  29. Democrat Slogans:
    It’s never too late for 1968!
    JFK died for your sins!
    Che died for your sins!
    We shouted out, “who killed the Kennedys?”
    When after all, it was a vast right wing conspiracy.
    McGovern wuz robbed in 1972
    Not in my backyard!
    No blood for oil!
    Girls say yes to boys who cut and run.
    We’re desperate. Get used to it.
    Left is right,
    Right is wrong,
    No responsibilities,
    And rights all day long.
    Screw the Man before he screws you!
    To Hell with the Truth. Speak angrily to power.
    Democrats: The Modern Robin Hood stealing from the rich and giving to our base.

  30. A decent slogan for KOS might be: “At least Monkey Faced Liberal and Porto don’t post HERE!”
    And guys, please stop picking on Porto. After all, he can insult you in five languages…FIVE! Doesn’t that scare you? If not, the fact that he uses a nickname that is epynomous with a portable toilet shows that he is very macho and not to be trifled with. Did I end that sentence with a preposition? Oh, no! Now he’ll surely use his super language powers to demonstrate that I’m an inferior sub-human! I weep!

  31. Children, children,
    MFL and porto are simply sponges for attention. Give it to them and they will never go away.
    Ignore them and their feeble attempts to engage and enrage and like the pathetic adolescents they are they will find other places to infect.
    As usual libs wouldn’t know satire and irony if it crawled up their legs and bit them on the butt. The only kind of humor they understand is invective, bitter, and hurtful.
    Hugs and Kisses

  32. seanmahair,
    Languages five speech i. Live in your puny world i do not. Love you with the fires of th moons of Mithra i do but your sick american culture makes you weak at the knees so you fall like your baby sister. Wake up and see failure of your leaden feet. Are you not amazed?

  33. with the fires of th moons of Mithra i do
    Who said anything about “mooning” Murtha? (BTW, porto, that’s called “satire” or “parody”)
    Live in your puny world i do not
    So, just what planet do you live on?

  34. BigOrangeAxe,
    Another coffee of cup you must have today, senor. Moaning Murtha is loving you yes. The planet I live on is east of the new vista with love and monkey-faces for all. Not in the sense that monkey-faces know love, but in the flavour of non-apish thuggery. Use good English and monkey-love will follow. Hoping love on you and yours, but not in the sense that you thought I meant.

  35. Hidy-Ho,
    I am not I Ither. I am, however, the better of you, not I but all that I am and am not for the time being as time is marked by I. I fear that I am all that I may be and yet may not be in the time that I set before I. I that I know not what love is I fear. I am not I I fear.

  36. I forgive your hate, j. I can do that. You know what’s really gay? That little squiggly thing you stuck after “Porto”. Gay, gay, gay, gay, gay~. I can forgive you in fourteen intergalactic languages that are inaudible to the human ear. I, for one, am hoping that I’ll never make another appearance on this blog. It’s too gay unfriendly and not at all into talking about female excisions in a manner that I would condone for I. Also, you made MFL cry. I say that not nice. Peace and love to you from a far away place…not be gay Jay.

  37. Porto~
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~.
    Oh, you know you understand. You master of intergalactic weasle linguistics, you.
    That and this:
    Did you follow my instructions or are you still unclean and unshaven much like your dead fantasy man, al Zarqawi?

  38. So back on topic!
    DailyKos: More reliable than TruthOut.org!
    DailyKos: We’ll endorse you for the low, low price of $3,000!*
    *Starting “consultaion” fee, other charges such as monthly rate may also apply.

  39. We need to step beyond mottos – and go straight to jingles:
    (sung to the Oscar Myer Balogna song)
    My obsession has a first name,
    It’s D-A-I-L-Y,
    My obsession has a sceond name,
    It’s K-O-S, oh my!
    I have to read it every day,
    And if you ask me why I’ll say,
    SHUT UP YOU F@$#NG
    RIGHT WING B#$&!&DS
    GO F%#K ROVE UP THE A#%
    DIE YOU A@%WIPE NEO-CON
    F#
    %@#G BUSHITLER C%#$TS
    or if you prefer:
    My obsession has a first name,
    It’s D-A-I-L-Y,
    My obsession has a sceond name,
    It’s K-O-S, oh my!
    I have to read it every day,
    And if you ask me why I’ll say,
    ‘Cause Markos Moulitsas
    Has a way with dispensing
    Bullshit every day.

  40. Raxter:
    “My obsession has a sceond name,
    It’s K-O-S, oh my!
    I have to read it every day,
    And if you ask me why I’ll say,
    ‘Cause Markos Moulitsas
    Has a way with dispensing
    Bullshit every day.”

    OH MY FREAKING GOD! Dude, I’m laughing so hard I’m crying. CRYING! Jesus, where’dye come up with that?

  41. //I, for one, am hoping that I’ll never make another appearance on this blog. It’s too gay unfriendly ..//
    It’s not that this blog is gay unfriendly. This blog is ridiculously stupid unfriendly and since being gay is ridiculouly stupid….

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