New Dick Cheney Assassination Squad Sighting

Wacky disgraced Congressman Eric Massa has accused General Petraeus and Dick Cheney of meeting together in some sort of “treasonous plot.” Do you think this could be about the Dick Cheney Assassination Squad? I find it encouraging, at least. No matter how bad things get, I know out there are Dick Cheney and his handpicked squad — probably led by General Petraeus — riding dinosaurs and armed with laser rifles ready to put things right.

14 Comments

  1. Let’s work this backward. General Petraeus and the Right Honorable Dick Cheney hatch a plot. The first person they contact to join this plot is Eric Massa. Now, I’m not a conspiracy guy, so I don’t buy it, but if I were a conspiracy guy, it makes perfect sense in the same way that the mob chose Jack Ruby to assassinate Lee Oswald. Like Ruby, Massa is so loopy that even if he does squeal, no one, including me, would believe him.

    This doesn’t mean that Cheney has disbanded his crack assassination team. I just don’t think Massa is a part of it.

  2. Maybe I’m missing something, but a General still has voting rights. It might not be the best thing for his public image to suggest that he wants the current CIC replaced; but put in the context of an election, as this alleged conversation is reported, doesn’t qualify as treason.
    Is this guy suggesting by extension that every member of the Armed Forces absolutely must always vote incumbent and encourage others to do the same?

  3. Hummmm! Let me see if I have this right. Eric Massa the famous tickle fight champion and former non-homo congressman is told by four generals about political shenanigans between Cheney and Petraeus. He claims he was told by the four generals this plot was hatched at a secret meeting. If this meeting was so secret how did the four generals know so much about it and why in Gods name would they go to a well known political bozo to reveal the plot???? Me thinks this is total bulls**t!

  4. His tea leafs suggested that four generals (none of whom are named clark that ran for president as a commie) suspected that General Petraeus is a real American that they told him that they suspected the tea leafs were right. And that joose biden is not really a crab person.

  5. As a proud member of Dick Chenney’s Elite Assasination and Goon Squad, I can assure you we don’t have any on going plots involving Congressman Massa. Dick wouldn’t have us waste a perfectly good bullet on the whinny little idiot, and he’d never confide in such a whinny little liberal loser anyway. In fact, the mere thought offends him.

    Gen. Petraeus is such a bad ass he don’t need no steenking dinosaurs armed with laser rifles. Just a laser stare from his eyes will do.

  6. General Petraeus is good to go. Republican candidate with winning power….not so sure. Dick Cheney should just run himself, on the premises that A) I shot a lawyer in the face, and I LIKED him. B) If he is elected all Democrats will have to wear oversized diapers when conducting official business for 1 year C) He will attempt to ressurect dinosaurs, and heavily arm them…and let them loose on the border with Mexico…and what the heck…Canada too. (Kudos to the Dino-Riders link) I think Massa is being a pouty baby because maybe he tried to play footsie with Petraeus and got a knuckle sammich!

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