Are We in a Depression?

The economy is pretty bad right now, and then we also have Obama stealing all our money to use on who knows what — giving cocaine to monkeys and things like that. If you think of the economy as a car — and who doesn’t — it’s like Obama got the car out of the ditch, put the gear in ‘D’, loaded it up with explosives, and crashed it into the mall while laughing insanely like the Joker.

Anyway, the point is I’m wondering if we now could actually be in a depression thanks to Obama suicide mission against our well-being and not just in a recession. Well, I looked it up and here are the signs the economy could be in a depression:

SIGNS OF ECONOMIC DEPRESSION

* Economy can’t sleep or sleeps too much

* Economy can’t concentrate or finds that previously easy tasks are now difficult

* Economy feels hopeless and helpless

* Economy can’t control its negative thoughts, no matter how much it tries

* Economy has lost its appetite or can’t stop eating

* Economy is much more irritable and short-tempered than usual

* Economy has thoughts that life is not worth living (seek help immediately if this is the case)

Hurm. Seeming a lot like we’re in a depression when you look at it that way. We may need to get the economy therapy and appropriate medication. We should also get it away from negative influences — like certain U.S. president who will go unnamed.

17 Comments

  1. We should also get it away from negative influences — like certain U.S. president who will go unnamed.

    Good news! Carter landed in North Korea today, so he won’t be around to drive the economy to commit suicide.

    Or were you talking about that other horrible democrat President, Carter II?

  2. Suicide prevention hotline. Can I help you?

    My name is Economy. American Economy. I feel ugly and fat, bloated and useless. When I’m not sleeping, I’m constantly eating. Most of my interest is in China these days. I just can’t get full!

    Economy, listen to me…Stop eating. Go to the gym. Do push ups and run until everyone around you says “Wow, you look great!” Then go to Washington DC and bitch slap a guy on the golf course with a bucket on his head. Don’t worry…it’s definitely his fault.

  3. Frank, I’m having a coffee and beer problem. Should I be worried about over-stimulation (the coffee) followed by too much depressant (the beer)? Or is that normal? And what about Irish Coffee? You know, Irish Whiskey in the coffee (simultaneous upper / downer – or a “mellow alertness” as I like to call it)? Should I put Scotch in it, instead?

  4. The US economy is scared of the Time Bombs that Obama has planted. Its just that simple. And it will stay in this frightened state until these bombs are located and defused.

    Personally I am afraid to spend or invest (in this country) as long as a Communist Muslim Illegal Alien is running things. At the present time there is no way of telling what will happen next or what will become of your money. The bottom line: You know things are bad when Hugo Chavez looks like a safer bet

  5. Taggart: I am depressed.
    Lyle: Excuse me, Mr. Taggart, sir, but I sure do hate to see you like this. What if me and the boys was to shoot that Economy dead? Would that pep you up some?
    Taggart: That might help.

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