Scientists say the moon is shrinking. I don’t know what to think about that. It could be making itself smaller to throw off any tactical nuclear strike, but it could be even more sinister than that. Maybe it testing out new Ant-Man type powers, and then one day we’ll look up and be like, “Where’d the moon go?” Ends up, it shrunk down to the size of a golf ball. Then it will wait until the time is right to sneak up behind us and suddenly go back to normal size. Then we’ll turn around and be like, “Aieee! The moon!” And we’ll all shoot it, but it will be no use. And then we’ll throw our empty guns at it in frustration, but that probably won’t help either.
We’re going to need smarter moon defenses, people. And by smarter, I mean giant robots.
Buy cream cheese call options.
Maybe the Moon is just cracking up watching us.
Is there a super-villain named Gru involved in any way?
Its all that cheap helium we squandered in party balloons that’s lost to the earth forever, lost to the earth forever. Its finally made it too the moon and is wreaking unholy havok! We need to raise the price of party balloons to $100 and add a 200% tax immediately to abate this lunar shrinkage. There is no time to debate! We must start spending immediately! Double expire the boosh tax cuts! Screech screeeecchhh!
It heard about some people wanting to nuke it and it’s kind of scared so I think it’s trying to get as small as it can get so we won’t notice it.
We’re just crazy enough to do it!
It must be due to the alien colony on the dark side of the moon. I figure they have developed some sort of technology to manipulate the moon, so they can perform twisted psychological experiments on us as they watch us squirm in confusion. But that’s fine with me, because it beats getting probed.
…Or it could be from the Bush administration. One or the other.
Science! tells them that a crack in the moon is unusual. Common sense tells me that every moon I’ve seen has a crack! Haha butt joke!
Its shrinkage amounts to 0.00000260143651% over a period of a billion years. Who’s to argue?
Oh, criminey! The darn thing shrinks every month or so – then it fills right back out again. Stupid scientists.
If that rat-bas@#d floating rock thinks I dont have the stomach to nuke a Midget-moon it is sorely mistaken.
The moon has a molten core like earth. With no atmosphere or plate tectonics to absorb the blow in the past when it was hit with large rocks the glowing lava would seep out through the cracks. I can only imagine what huge veins of glowing lava would look like from earth. All the smooth spots you see on the moon are from these lava flows.
The Moon is shrinking? Oh come on!! Don’t we already have enough to fear?
The next thing ya know Ultra Conservative Glenn Beck will be supporting Gay marriages and Ann “never been married” Coulter will become a Gay Motivational speaker.
Well, now that Obama has taken over NASA, along with everything else, the Obama administration has reduced the size of the moon in order that money usually spent to maintain the moon will be diverted to rebuilding mosques in foreign countries here on the US. However, he is not a Muslim. I repeat, he is not a Muslim…even when he says he is.
Somehow, I keep thinking about the Man In The Moon. He’s old, you know. And he’s been trapped there for billions and billions of years. Could be he’s tired, got wrinkly skin and is in a bad mood like a grumpy old man. He probably just needs a hug.
Nuke the bastard.
Frank, sometimes you think too much. Robots are one of humanity’s greatest enemies. They are second only to monkeys. They do not need air and would naturally side with the Moon in any conflict.
I guess our moon is a total wuss, then.
Termina’s moon didn’t need to shrink itself to get the drop on people. It just crashed into them as it was.
I thougth all our moons got wrinkly and smaller as we got older.
Oh, and it’s Bush’s fault !!! The cracks are formed by the drilling for Dick Cheney’s Secret Underground Killer Death Robot Base.
Is it really smaller, or just farther away?
Hmmm. The moon shrinking…. Then it gets bigger…. I think I’ve seen this pattern before.
In those famous two words of Elaine… “It Shrinks?”
Nuke it before it gets any smaller!