* Still no debt deal, and at this point I’m like, “Fine. Let’s just default.” How are we going to get them to stop spending unless we just take away the option to spend more? Sure it’s going to be scary and painful, but that’s just what real change is. It’s either this painful process or continue to hobble along as we ignore the problem and get worse and worse and worse.
Oh, everyone’s voting “hobble along.”
* Harry Reid has called Cut, Cap, and Balance the “perhaps some of the worst legislation in the history of this country.” Worse than laws allowing slavery? Of course it’s worse since those laws weren’t a personal affront to him making sure doddering fools spouting gibberish have less money and power. Again, I ask, what is this guy doing having any sway over the country and its prosperity? If he so loves power, can’t we put him charge of the activities committee at a nursing home or something?
* Obama prayed for a solution to the debt crisis. So basically he’s just taunting God now to smite him. I don’t think God will do it, though; He doesn’t want to get accused of racism.
* Obama lost $1.3 billion in bailing out Chrysler, and all I can think is that, compared to his other colossal blunders, that’s not that much. It’s way on the lower end of colossal. Might even instead be on the upper end of huge blunders. Makes you wonder what it would be like to have a president who only made huge blunders instead of colossal ones. What an impossible dream.
* Here’s the CEO of Home Depot answering a question about what he would say if he could sit down with Obama and talk about job creation:
I’m not sure Obama would understand anything that I’d say, because he’s never really worked a day outside the political or legal area. He doesn’t know how to make a payroll, he doesn’t understand the problems businesses face. I would try to explain that the plight of the businessman is very reactive to Washington. As Washington piles on regulations and mandates, the impact is tremendous. I don’t think he’s a bad guy. I just think he has no knowledge of this.
This is a theme we’re really going to have to hit in 2012: Obama is a complete know-nothing to everything important to this nation right now. If the biggest problem facing the country right now was people needed help on using teleprompters, President Obama would be right there to save the day. But with the actual problems we’re dealing with, the guy is less than useless. The best he could do is stay out of the way… which is asking far too much of him.
* Best of the Web has a pretty good take down of a Deepak Chopra opinion piece. I don’t know much about Chopra other than a) He has a ridiculous name. b) His political writing are the absolute dumbest I’ve ever seen in a major publications. Just complete utter garbage where he’s super right about everything and anyone who disagrees with him is evil and mean. Literally, a four-year-old could write with more nuance. Apparently his day job though is “New Age media personality”. I hope that means someone who sits in a booth and people pay to throw pies at him. If this guy actually hands out advice or something… wow, watch out for that.
* The Pentagon says it’s now ready to let gays openly serve in the military. I can’t help but wonder how this will go over in the Middle East. Already, our military is not supposed to have Christian symbols so as not to offend people and they ask women soldiers to cover their hair. So are gays going to get the instructions, “So as not to offend people in the Middle East, try not to be quite so openly gay.”? You know, they execute people for that there. Maybe this will get the ire of the gay lesbian activists (there are gay lesbians now?) and we’ll finally do what we should have done a long time ago: Tell people in the Middle East their culture is stupid and we’re not going to respect it. Of course, the gay lesbian activist only ever seem interested in pestering people who think gay marriage is silly and missing the point. As for Muslims who want to kill homosexuals, not so much their concern.
* John Hawkins has a follow up post on how independent, conservative blogs are doomed — DOOMED! Maybe I need to help IMAO by focusing more on a niche. I could be the go to political blogger for when the subject is astronomy or nuclear weapons. Or maybe I just need to join a bigger blog. Any bigger blog want to hire me? I’m very expensive… but you get free HIGH PRAISE for taking me on.
* Wisdom of the Day: “Makes you wonder what the national job situation would be without governors like Walker, Perry, Christie, etc., doesn’t it?” –Nathan Wurtzel
* Instead of just complaining, I thought I’d come up with some solutions, so here’s my three part plan to clean up the government:
1) Send all the politicians in DC to prison.
2) Make whining no longer a protected form of speech and punishable by deportation.
3) Fire.
Nice and simple. Maybe I should run on it. What’s your three part plan to clean up the government? I don’t want any four part plans as that’s too many parts. If your plan has only two parts, you’re only fooling yourself if you think that’s enough parts to clean up government. Best three part plan wins… HIGH PRAISE… and possibly saves the nation.
1) Read the Constitution
2) Respect the Constitution
3) For God’s sake, boys, follow the Constitution
Marko- Your plan is much too logical.
1) Forget the border…really big, electrified fence around DC.
2) Cut off all imports to DC…starting with argula and booze.
3) When they all die off in a month or two, clean out the area and start over.
My bet is that not a single one of the uninformed simpletons who think they should boss the military around will be serving in that same military.
DADT wasn’t very good policy, it was Clinton policy. I read something long ago about a proposal for Don’t Ask, Don’t Disrupt which was vastly more reasonable.
1) Release virus in DC causing an acute zombie apocalypse
2) Implement skills learned in video games
3) Prosperity!!
1. Change House of Representatives to Thunderdome of Representatives.
2. Start every session of both houses with reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, singing all verses of the National Anthem, and reciting the Lord’s Prayer (to identify any witches).
3. Citizens get one vote for each tax dollar paid to Uncle Sam in the previous year.
I ain’t fallin’ for that “High Praise” trap! IMAO High Praise is the kiss of Wasserman-Schultz!!!
Otherwise, this was one of your best Nuke The News yet.
Ok, I’ll try:
1. Nuke it from orbit. It’s the only way.
2. Send in Israeli bulldozers.
3. Celebrate.
1. Make all streets in DC one way; OUT OF TOWN.
2. Put a fence around DC. Big, electrified, mined and extremely deadly.
3. Send in some guy called Snake to take out the “Bad” guys.
1) Buy a IMAO t-shirt
2) Wrap it around the neck of anyone from DC you happen across and twist
3) Drink a beer
1) Execute all office-holding liberals, including Obama, Biden and Supreme Court liberals (Except Pelosi, who should caged and forced to watch the end of Socialism in the US as tourists mock and taunt her).
2) President Boehner pardons everyone that killed the liberals.
3) Repeat anytime a Liberal is elected or a RINO steps too far over the line.
1) Wash
2) Rinse
3) Repeat
(Who would have thought the solution to the mess in Washington was on the back of a bottle of Prell)
1) Kill all the lawyers.
2) Make it illegal for new lawyers to run for office.
3) Make all elected politicians pass (with at least 95% correct answers) a thorough and detailed test to demonstrate that they understand everything in the Constitution– the real Constitution, not the one that mysterously came ALIVE about a century ago. If they don’t get at least 95% correct- shoot em in the head.
Default? You mean not giving the Chinese, government workers, congress, and welfare recipients checks? Oh, the horror. The horror.
We need a “What is more useless than Hary Reid” thread. I’ll start with a rectal Wasserman-Schultz.
I bet with a name like Deepak the boy is a bit lite in the loafers.
One quick addendum to my post above:
1) Kill all the lawyers, including the disbarred ones like Barry, Moochele, and Hillary. Yeah I know Moochele isn’t techinially a politician, but in her case I think we need to make an exception.
1. Bring back moonshot program.
2. Load congress, potus, and all staff of both with a nuke into the rocket.
3. Nuke the moon !!
If I don’t have get the HIGH PRAISE this time, I’ll be forced to conclude that, as Coolidge articulated, you are nothing but a reactionary, Frank J.
P.S. PBunyan, that’s a nice buck. Where’d you get him?
Remove any law at doesn’t adhere to the constitution the way it was interpreted in 1790 (by the people that actually wrote it)
Any person that says the words “there should be a law …” gets a musket to the junk
Any person that wants to be a Politician is barred from office
Come to think of it, the last part of my #3 need above needs to be modified too, because if the politician is a Democrat, just shooting them in the head isn’t going to have any effect since it won’t damage any organs they actually use. Therefor my edited #3 should read:
3) Make all elected politicians pass (with at least 95% correct answers) a thorough and detailed test to demonstrate that they understand everything in the Constitution– the real Constitution, not the one that mysterously came ALIVE about a century ago. If they don’t get at least 95% correct- shoot em in the head if they’re Republicans. If they’re Democrats, rip their hearts out Temple of Doom style.
RE: P.S. PBunyan, that’s a nice buck. Where’d you get him?
Southwest Michigan. Very last morning of Blackpowder season. Got me into Boone & Crockett.
1) Predators (not the drone kind) to hunt down all politicians.
2) Unleash Aliens to kill all the Predators.
3) I dunno…I guess nuke it from orbit.
In all seriousness we have to pry them off the teat and starve em down if we want to see change. so…short of returning to a confederacy I would
1. Repeal the 16th amendment (IRS)
2. Repeal the 17th amendment (Election of Senators)
3. Forfeit the right to vote to Moochers (anyone who received from the Government more than they paid)
Amen to #20! All excellent and necessary.
Being the Deepak Chopra of IMAO, I have no hope of High Praise, Medium Praise or Low Praise. I”m just a sad little trooper sitting at his keyboard every day…”sniff”…(wipes tiny tear from eye)…
Have a Big Boy Conservative Convention a safe distance from Washington DC (No RINO’s Allowed)
Have a huge liberal festival in Washington DC including Planned Parenthood, Gay Rights, Global Warming Summit, Tree Huggers United, Sierra Club, NPR, Correspondents Dinner, Promised Obama Tranfiguration with Christ etc, etc, etc.
Super Saturation Bomb DC and then Nuke the Ashes to be sure. Reboot country and start over!!!
“John Hawkins has a follow up post on how independent, conservative blogs are doomed — DOOMED! ”
John Hawkins was a lot more right about a lot more things when he was a chubby nobody…now that he’s a chubby sorta-almost-somebody, he tends to write some stupider things. I hope he’s not coming down with Little Green Footballs Syndrome.
“Here’s the CEO of Home Depot answering a question about what he would say if he could sit down with Obama and talk about job creation”
First question from Obama in that sit down: “What exactly is a home improvement store?”
!. Shoot
2. Shovel
3. Shut up
Liberal solution:
1. Elect Obama.
2. ???
3. Profit.
1) 49 states secede from the union leaving only California in the USA and holding the bag for all of the debt.
2) Form a new United States with the same constitution plus a balanced budget amendment and an amendment banning purse-dogs.
3) Anyone who suggests raising taxes gets catapulted over the wall & alligator filled moat into California.
We may have to secede again to avoid paying all this debt off. The lefties can have the rust belt and the coast, we’ll take the Southeast and the middle of the country.
We may have to invade a little bit of Mexico for a Western port and some nice coastal property. Baja California would do.
1. Write a constitution that limits what the government can do. CHECK.
2. Get voters to only vote for politicians that honor the constitution. WORK IN PROGRESS.
3. Nuke the Moon. DEPENDS ON (1) and (2).
1) Don’t elect anybody anymore. Select people instead. Place them under house arrest while they’re serving.
2) Sell all their stuff. Invest it in a fund that tracks the government. If it does well, they do well. If the government goes bankrupt, they go bankrupt.
3) Don’t let them touch the tax code for their tenure. Can’t fiddle with the valves to improve their fortunes; it’s got to be the result of real growth and less spending.
Why, yes, I do read David Eddings. Why do you ask?
Rasmussen poll has Obama 41% vs. Ron Paul 37%?
1) RON!!!!11!!!
2) PAUL!!!!1111!!!!1!
3) !!!!111!!1!!!11!!!
After everyone in gov’t is gathered for State of the Union address:
1) Insert magazine
2) Release bolt
3) depress trigger and move muzzle of rifle from left to right so as to spread bullets evenly down range so you cannot be libeled discriminatory
1. Ready.
2. Aim.
3. Fire!
1) Have Industrialist build flying suit.
2)Discover unpronouncible magic hammer
3)Thaw out Steve Rogers.
Needs another couple of steps, but a good start.
Seriously, I like #20.hwuu’s plan the best.
sorry mine would be a 5-part plan
1) restart the space program
2) nuke the moon once we again posses the technology that would allow this
THEN Frank J’s plan.
If I had a 4th part it would involve changing the primaries and part 5 would involve moving the Supreme court to somewhere in Wyoming.
But I’m a big suckup when it comes to HIGH PRAISE.
1) Spay
2) Neuter
3) Release?
Frank, I’ll hire you. Need a new minister of building maintenance. Just have to talk to you about that vow of poverty.
1) Inscribe the text of the Constitution on a large blunt instrument, for example, a sledgehammer.
2) Hit the politicians with the sledgehammer.
3) Repeat step 2.
1) Cut
2) Cap
3) Balance
1. Cut.
2. Chop.
3. Puree!
1. Cut.
2. Press.
3. Decant.
Must be the ale.
1. Mexi-cannon all illegals into Mexico.
2. Mexi-pult all RINOs and everyone politically left of them into Mexico.
3. Nuke Mexico.
HOW TO CLEAN UP GOVERNMENT
1. No staff for Congress and White House until unemployment under 6% (also known as: “the Bush years”).
2. No dinners, drinks or travel on taxpayer dime for Congress and White House until budget is balanced.
3. Term limits of one (1) for all politicians. (lingerers must leave DC peaceably or be forced to live in Venezuela as Chavez’ cabana boy)
1. Line up.
2. Beat with stick.
3. Discard.
Inspired by Basil.
First off, HIGH PRAISE is NEVER free. Somebody always pays. And how!
(1) Dock the income of Congress in direct proportion to how over budget they go.
(2) Elect Frank president.
(3) Fly gets HIGH PRAISE!
4. Erect a anti lobbyist force field
5. Find the one person in the country who doesn’t want to be president (really doesn’t want to be) and hire him.
6. Put Maher and his coven on a deserted Aleutian Island and leave them with food and water but no way to communicate with anyone- after surgically neutering them. They’ll talk each other to death before they allow their inner cannibals out. (A much nicer sentiment that what the cabal suggested for Palin and Bachman)
I can’t improve on MarkoMancuso’s plan. The Founding Fathers (excuse me, Founding Persons) knew what they were doing.
So are gay lesbians women who like men? Oh, damn — I married a gay lesbian!
Here’s my plan:
1. Issue name tags to all members of congress with a letter for part affiliation; arrest any with a D or S or L.
2. Put all lobbyists for everyone, even my pet causes, all of them, on a really big ice floe and send them south.
3. Announce that everyone who wants the weenie policies that were ruining this country will be welcome in Mexico City.
But I dunno — I won HIGH PRAISE a few days ago and I tried to buy dinner with it tonight and the guy told me HIGH PRAISE is not valid currency anymore. Bummer.
4, 5, and 6 are thinking outside Frank’s three-sided box!
“5. Find the one person in the country who doesn’t want to be president (really doesn’t want to be) and hire him/her.” FIFY!!
And Crabby, #3 in Marko’s plan is currently a FAIL. That’s the problem. How do we make them/us follow it?
1. Cede DC to Mexico
2. Protect the borders
3. Profit
1) Make multiple Ronald Regan and Frank J. clones
2) Elect the clones
3) After the clones become corrupt in four or so years kill them all and make a new batch
#29 – Willy or #50 – Karen FTW!
1. Everybody open IMAO in multiple tabs at the same time.
2. IMAO becomes the most visited blog in history, becoming the foundation of a multi-national media empire.
3. Frank rides his fame and fortune to the White House and begins flinging nukes like they’re glitter.
1) Place gun muzzle against Congressperson’s temple.
2) Repeat this phrase, or close variant: “Now, congressperson, do you believe this pending legislation before you is important enough to fund by putting a gun against the taxpayers’ heads and confiscating their hard earned money?”
3) Screen resulting answers against the Constitution’s enumerated powers, and choose your next action wisely.
“Repeat” isn’t a 4th step as the process is a new addition to the standard operating procedure.
1) Think of something clever
2) Enter the something clever in the comments box
3) Leave my reply under the name “Bantha_Fodder”
Since the Almighty has been mentioned I just remembered a biblical account of what happens when one taunts God. Elijah and the priests of Baal held a little test to see who’s God was greater. They called on Baal for most of the morning but nothing happened (of course) When Elijah called on God he not only burnt the sacrifice but the wood, the stones on the altar the water in the trough. The priests of Baal however found their employment was no longer necessary.
Hippie Punchomatic 5000? WTF? That’s like the most awesome name ever! How can I steal it and get you booted from this site forever. Let me see how much jing or bling I have to send Frank’s way to make this happen… I’ll get back to you or you will eventually type in your name and email and it will say “that name is already taken”… Muwahahahahahah!!! Good job ma’ boy!!!
Why do you want to send all the DC politicians to prison? What have all the murderers, rapists, and other convicted felons ever done to you that begins to compare with the way the politicians have messed up your life? Leave the prisoners alone. Cover the politicians with honey, then stake them out on an anthill in the desert. I know where there’s a bunch of good anthills.
Constitutional amendment that allows for an annual hunting season for all elected officials and bureaucrats. Season would run for 364 days a year (take xmas off). You can hunt them for food or sport. Of course not even the hogs would eat Pelosi so just have her stuffed and placed at the southern border to scare off drug dealers.
1. Teach genuine U.S. History in the schools again.
2. Preach the Bible to as many people as possible.
3. Tell conservatives to have lots of kids.
After two generations, the government should be reasonably cleaned up.
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