* If you were afraid these debt ceiling negotiations might come to an end, Obama is open to a very short term deal so they can keep them going on and on and on past the August 2nd deadline. So we’ll get more of Obama demanding higher taxes and refusing meaningful cuts; in fact, maybe that could just be the rest of his presidency. Then, in January 2013, we’ll get a new guy to negotiate with who will cut spending, and Obama will be exiled to Antarctica, as is our custom… or will be.
Do you think Obama is going to keep trying to get on TV after we kick him out of the presidency? That’s an awful thought; I’m glad I got rid of cable. Well, maybe he’ll just stick full-time to golfing… in Antarctica. Watch out for penguins, though; they’re filled with bloodlust.
* Senator Tom Harkin has referred to the people who don’t want to raise the debt ceiling as a “cult fringe”. You know, that cult fringe who don’t think you should just keep spending money you don’t have, a.k.a., people with jobs, a.k.a., a majority of Americans. Are you starting to think there is a disconnect between regular Americans and useless nitwits who spend of billions of dollars of other people’s money with no accountability? Maybe we should all have an ice cream social together to get to know each other better. Or maybe to find out even more, we should have the politicians all waterboarded and interrogated in Gitmo. Because we care.
* Romney is now polling neck and neck with Obama, the only Republican candidate so far to do so. I know we all hate Romney, but he does have this primary strategy where he wears us out and we eventually learn to tolerate him. And now he has this argument that he can win, and he’ll be like, “Well, who do you hate more? Me or Obama?” And we’ll all grudgingly say, “Obama.” And then Romney will say, “So what are your opinions again so I can say that’s what I always believed?” And then we’ll write down our beliefs for Romney so he doesn’t forget them.
Romney 2012: When you’ve given up on greatness and just want something better.
* Five Democrat representatives are calling on Allen West to apologize for what he said about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz, calling it “sexist.” That’s stupid. What West said was the opposite of sexist. He said Wasserman-Schultz was not a lady. That means he accepts her the same as his male colleagues. What a progressive.
* The bones of Adolph Hitler’s deputy, Rudolph Hess, were dug up and burned. That’s what we’re reduced to since we don’t have new Nazis to kill; we have to go rekill old ones and to make sure they don’t become zombies. I guess we could kill Commies instead, but even they’re getting hard to find (though Obama did appoint one to his cabinet). I guess we can just stick to killing terrorists, but they’re just never going to be as threatening as Nazis. When is America going to get a good enemy again?
* According to a scientific study, exposure to the American flag makes people lean Republican. Yet another advantage of Republicans being the party that sorta kinda likes this country. I don’t know if there is a symbol that causes people to vote Democrat, though. Maybe they could do a scientific study on people’s voting habits when you casually leave a hammer and sickle lying around.
* The Shuttle Atlantis has returned, so now that’s it: America is done with space. We’ve pretty much explored all of space anyway. Like we went in orbit around earth and… well, I think that was about it. I’ve heard talk that man once went to the moon back in the late sixties, but that sounds like an urban legend. If we can’t get to the moon now with our iPhones and internet, how could they do that way back with sixties technology while having to fend off hippies? Yeah, I just checked Snopes; that was made up.
* CERN has found that cosmic rays are a big factor in cloud formation. They don’t want anyone to talk about this since clouds are a big factor in the planet’s temperature and that would mean something beyond human control is a major contributor to global climate warming change. I don’t know why some people cling so bitterly to man-made climate change; if they really push themselves, they can get out of their rut and come up with some new looming, unprovable disaster to blame on people’s behavior. My suggestions: The activities of man are causing squirrels to become slightly larger over time. It doesn’t seem like much, but as squirrels become larger they’ll eat more, and eventually squirrel largeness will damage our food supply and cause mass starvation. OUT: Man-made climate change. IN: Man-made squirrel enlargement.
* In a new survey, a plurality said that spending cuts in government will increase jobs. And long term they’re right, but basically this is just people showing common sense and knowing that unchecked spending is very very bad. Plus, it’s a complete devastation of the Democrats’ argument. Let’s celebrate by digging up Keynes’s bones and burning them.
* Lots of good answers on what it sounds like a “Wasserman-Schultz” is, but only one can get HIGH PRAISE and it’s DamnCat with:
The orneriest, laziest, stupidest breed of mule there is.
DamnCat, you brighten all our days with your wit.
* This is just funny:
Antarctica is a good choice. Plus, word is that there may be a brand new island there for him by that point, near the Sandwich Islands. That’ll also make it easier to get him on the plane. He’ll say, “What? A sandwich? Does it have arugula?” and off he goes.
Oh, Lord have mercy – I’m in for a beatin’ now!
Cats don’t have wit. The have blank stares.
Harkin is a useless moron. I once booed him at a parade, much to the chagrin of my wife.
Frank, make sure you get Buttercup some American Flag bed sheets, just to be on the safe side.
I like the implied “Doh!” after he responds to her question.
I googled “man made squirrel enlargement”. Besides the Viagra adds you do not want to know what I found.
When Apollo 11 launched hippies and “poor people” protested outside Kennedy becuause that was money not spent on welfare checks. Frank was right about sixties tech and battling hippies.
Forget Antartica, Obama would screw up the penguins. Send him to Detroit. No penguins to screw up there.
Did they chuck Rudolph Hess’s ashes into the sea and confiscate his pron? That’s what I want to know.
By the way, Damncat, near my office is a pet groomer. Once a month the CatSnip van pulls up to provide free “fixing” services. Ahem.
Sending Barry to Antarctica is no big deal. Facing that frozen, barren, unforgiving wasteland won’t faze him…look who he’s married to.
“Man-made squirrel enlargement”
My spam box is full of people trying to convince me this is a good idea…
@storm1911: Molōn labe
Damn Damn Cat! I heard that he’s been bending over for Bantha_Fodder to A) get tips on how Frank J likes his butt kissed and B) how to become part of the “in crowd” at IMAO. He just couldn’t take standing on the outside looking in.
Well it’s ok, Damn Kitty! We will keep fighting “the man” while you nestle your kitty lips up to his butt and smooch! I’ll be you are purring like there’s not tomorrow the whole time you twisted feline menace! Say, how was it to take it up the keister from a Bantha anyway?
So, like I didn’t win again! Like, what do you have Frank J, a degree from Carnegie Mellon or something? That will teach him…
I’d say go to hell, Cat, but, as a cat, you’re already there.
What did I tell you? I’m getting beaten like a rented Wasserman-Schultz.
Thank you congressman…that was indeed a classic example of the perfect squelch.
Hehe. High Praise from this outfit is like the kiss of Wasserman-Schultz.
Frank we have to stop the madness! Banta and Cats getting high praise, Human sacrifice, dogs and cats living together… mass hysteria! i HOPE to bring about CHANGE for peace so we can WIN THE FUTURE for the sake of the children. LET ME BE PERFECTLY CLEAR that I am willing to sacrifice yeah SHARED SACRIFICE with Cat and Banta to be awared “High Praise” for doing absolutely nothing of merit. Just the fact that as a man of the cloth I have the potential restore sanity to IMAO. I will accept the Nobel Peace prize I mean “High Praise” for the collective good of all.
Can’t you all see that the high praise has driven us all mad, boss man Frank? A self-admitted damned cat doing as cats do: begging for praise but then moving to complaints about his treatment.
And now Pastor Ed, a man of the cloth! A man of the cloth greedily begging for his high praise! May God have mercy on all of us.
Now, Frank, Frank, Frank. If only you would just give your old friend MarkoMancuso the high praise!, then things would be all right around here.
Cats…..more worthless than a Wasserman-Schultz
PAH on all this High Praise BS! Examples of REAL High Praise….
* Some guy in a bar picking a fight because HIS girlfriend is looking at YOU!
* Ranting homeless dudes suddenly becoming quiet and averting their eyes as you walk by.
* Your significant other bustinyerbalz cuz the waitress is being a little TOO friendly with you.
* Having a whole enemy unit surrender to an allied unit when they hear that your unit is moving up (See: Falkland War: ghurka).
* Having a terrorist organization put out flyers showing your digicam uniform and telling their fighters to avoid any units wearing that type of battle dress at all costs…even if they are just driving trucks (See: Iraq War)
* Having the right to wear the Eagle, Globe, and Anchor.
Personally speaking I’d rather see a President Romney make the next US Supreme Court selection rather than a President Obama.
40 sixpacks and nine years ago our blogging forefather, Frank J., brought forth on this interweb, a new blog, conceived in snark, and dedicated to the proposition that all hippies need punching.
Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that blog, or any blog so conceived and so inundated with trolls and spam, can award High Praise without uproarious complaint. We are met on a screen of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that screen to advertising, as a final resting place for those hippies who here gave their livers that this blog might live. It is altogether unfair, unbalanced and unmedicated that we should do this.
But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate — we can not pontificate– we can not bloviate — this blog. The High Praise men, living and dead, who guffawed here, have contaminated it, far above our dim witted power to add or subtract from it. The blogging world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what Frank J. did here! It is for us the unpraised, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who commented here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here inebriated to the great task remaining before us — that with dinosaurs with rocket launchers we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of punching — that we here highly resolve that those praised shall not have been praised in vain — that this blog, under Frank J, shall have a new birth of freedom — and that conservative humor blogs shall not perish from the earth.
He forgot to ask her if she has a degree in Journalism…and if the answer was yes, what was her GPA and how many professors did she sleep with to graduate?
Noble words, Jimmy, but let us remember that guys like me are down here in the muck while you politicians make your big speeches!
Hey, Marko, just remember that you’re High Praise winner from General Basil with an added bonus of +15 from me (the potato farmer)!
“Humor is hell!”
~ William Tecumseh Sherman
Holy good night! I got moderated for using the name of a Civil War General??!?!11?!?
For those of us without High Praise, IMAO has become RUM, SODOMY and THE LASH!!!
Or as Basil calls it…Date Night.
Winfield was a heck of a general, FormerHostage.
Contessa Brewer, representing for every smarmy college graduate of her generation that thinks that doing bong hits in a dorm for four years at their parents’ expense makes them smarter than people who have actual accomplishments. Unfortunately, sometimes they’re not the only college graduate in the room and the only play in their playbook backfires miserably…just like that.
You should have used an ümlaut on his middle name, FormerHostage. Like this: Tecümseh
Well, I’ll be darned, I never imagined there were any other Civil War generals with naughty names aside from Hancoock.
Extra o added for good reason.
Yeah, SOB, plus finding any two “economists” who agree with each other has about the same odds as finding two cosmologists who agree – or two lawyers.
Contessa? Really? Who the hell names a kid Contessa? Does she have a sister named Duchess?
They’re just asking Allen West to apologize because their first choice was to call him racist and well….that would mean that black people CAN be and we can’t have people thinking that. I’d love to hear what he really called her before his email got moderated.
That’s funnier than a mule. And just imagine what will happen when Frank comes out with HIGHER PRAISE and cats and banthas hafta look at all the HIGH PRAISE they’ve bled for and think, what good are you, you lesser praise? Praise inflation, me friends. Quantitative Easing of Praise. It is coming.
Global Warming Explained:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cdxaxJNs15s&feature=related
(Talk about ‘Fringe Cults’…)
Antarctica is about the best place to exile him…that’s still on this planet! I vote for the moon. Followed by a nuke.
“Romney 2012: When you’ve given up on greatness and just want something better.”
While that’s funny, I think slightly more accurate would have been ‘…something insignificantly-less-bad.’
When will they learn? Oh wait, learning implies a willingness to improve oneself. That very concept goes against their ideology of ‘everyone is fine as they are.’
What the hell is an umlaut and how did you get it above the u? I suppose you are using an old fashion typewriter, Jimmy! The rest of us slog along on computers!
Pêóple thãt usê Mãcs dón’t knów what ümlãüts ãrê.
¿ Jimmy, are you imþl¥ing that µÅÇ userš ªre unsoƒißticated?
Yes, FØrmerHostage. Also because they use a one (¹) ßuttoñ mouse iñstead of two or three with pleñty of other ßuttoñs añd scroll wheels! I don’t know what I’d do if I couldn’t right-click on §tuff. I’m a ®ight-click junkie.
So, lets field some incompetent, inflexible, inexperienced candidate so that the Anti-Christ can continue his work of destroying the only real Democracy in the world. I’m sure once the elections over all of the anti-Romney folks will be content to submit to the Death Panels and 60% tax rate that will permanently dismantle our once strong government. After all, it’s better that a nation to die than to have one of “those” people in the White House.
I would say that’s how I feel about several of the proposed candidates but that would be a lie. I do try not to allow my personal bias’ to influence my vote otherwise I’d have to vote “none of the above” in 2012.
The real measure of freedom is the ability to say “No”.
I intend to say “No” to the 0 as loud as I can for as long as it takes.
Then everything will be all right. (Until the next ‘genius’ with a plan to remake the world in his own image comes along.)
PS: Norway now has ‘home-grown’ teritzs!
Will the TSA begin treating blond-haired, blue-eyed people with PC (spits) dictated deference now?