…” I understand. You found paradise in America, you had a good trade, you made a good living. The police protected you and there were courts of law. You didn’t need a friend like me. But, now you come to me, and you say, ‘Don Obama, give me justice.’ But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me Godfather.”
Yeah, about that Hillary; we’re gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?
“…sorry Hil, got to consolidate the fringe left so I’m asking Roseanne Barr. Y’see, she’s got you beat in the shrill department, plus she’s down with the gays, batsh!t crazy like Joe, can sing the national anthem like no other…oh and she’s a wicked Choomette who shares her stash and doesn’t b!tch when I make an “intercept”. Not to mention that she’s guaranteed assassination proofing against Al Quaiders and Bitter Clingers.”
Yeah, uh, mmmm I need a veep thats -less- uh, mmmm androgenous than me. Makes me look like a uh, uh, uh, authority ahhhhh, figure. And Michelle doesn’t want to have 2 men running the country…. sorry.
…your cankles are too big.
…”let’s do lunch on you, instead.”
“You may not be qualified. Say something stupid”
What, and have TWO bossy women telling me what to do? I don’t think so!
Now how would that help me get that sandwich quicker, woman?
…I’m sorry, I couldn’t hear you. Joe was yelling something about red Skittles not tasting like apples.
…” I understand. You found paradise in America, you had a good trade, you made a good living. The police protected you and there were courts of law. You didn’t need a friend like me. But, now you come to me, and you say, ‘Don Obama, give me justice.’ But you don’t ask with respect. You don’t offer friendship. You don’t even think to call me Godfather.”
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said… Sorry Hilary but you’d have the exact opposite effect of Joe BPV Biden.
(bullet proof vest)
… after what happened to Vince Foster? I don’t think so.
“No thank you. I just sent Joe to his room for a while. He’ll be OK later.”
Sorry… we already have enough boobs around here.
…I’ll gladly trade the loose lipped sod for the moose hipped broad.
…course she’ll have to crouch or she’ll bang her head on that glass ceiling.
…sure she’d make a great Veep. H3ll, it’s not like the job’s important or anything!
“SERENITY NOW!!!”
…and all I have to do to get her to accept is to pull a monkey from my butt.
…sure, since you’re a woman we won’t have to pay you as much.
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said “I already got one crazy white guy to do the job why would I need two?”
…you want to fill Biden’s shoes? Start with his mouth.
…VP? You want to dump oil all over the Gulf of Mexico? You’re weird!
. . . China has a VP?
. . . yes, you are a vice. Er, I mean, I’m going to stick with Joe.
. . . Aw, I didn’t know you were in my fan club. Sure I’ll endorse you!
What the heck did i write. Funny how one word can make the difference. What I meant to write was
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said “I already got one crazy white guy to do the job why would I need another?”
…think of what we’d save on juice boxes and bandaids!
…having a chick as veep will show the babes that I respect wimmen’s rights.
…but you’re VP who’ll bring us coffee?
…I dont know…I was thinking of replacing Joe with Sarah Silverman. But what the heck…give me 5 minutes of your best standup material.
…not a bad idea. I’ve already got the crazy white guy demographic locked up, and you could help me get the ugly lesbian vote.
… sure, if you can get Bill to hook me up with some of his women.
“Pie Jesu Domine, (THWACK) donna eis requiem (THWACK)”
“Uh, I don’t think you’re humidor ready.”
… if you want to run for V. P. ok… if you actually want to be one, talk to Romney.
“Kiss it!”
Yeah, about that Hillary; we’re gonna need to go ahead and move you downstairs into storage B. We have some new people coming in, and we need all the space we can get. So if you could just go ahead and pack up your stuff and move it down there, that would be terrific, OK?
I do not think you could live up to the high standards Biden has set.
just give my telepromptor a minute to warm up.
Why, did you get turned down as first mate on the Titanic?
@29 Bacon to you, sir, for finding a way to “go there” without using the word “cigar”. That task had me stumped.
but so you really want to move into Joe’s living quarters. He’s not housetrained, you know.
that depends. Do you still have that reset button?
“When pigs fly!”
(But Blarg got it, I hope!)
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said… Let me run that one past Vince Foster.
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said… One megalomaniac Marxist on the ticket is enough.
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said…I’d like to but we can’t have Bill start referring to himself as the vice-dude.
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said… You already have a better no-show job.
“…sorry Hil, got to consolidate the fringe left so I’m asking Roseanne Barr. Y’see, she’s got you beat in the shrill department, plus she’s down with the gays, batsh!t crazy like Joe, can sing the national anthem like no other…oh and she’s a wicked Choomette who shares her stash and doesn’t b!tch when I make an “intercept”. Not to mention that she’s guaranteed assassination proofing against Al Quaiders and Bitter Clingers.”
…”No, we are keeping Biden.” Hillary replied, “Good. I can’t be seen with some who wears mom jeans as poorly as you do.”
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said, “POP QUIZ: It’s 3 am and you get a call. I have a bucket stuck on my head. What do you do? What do you do?!?!“
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said, “I have to ask mommy. I mean, Michelle.”
“Hmm. Black man President. Woman Vice President. ” Nods. “That could have a ‘Deep Impact’.”
… sure – come up with a good nickname. How does “Tea and cookies” Clinton sound?
Dude! I thought I had you sent back to England, but if I knew you could talk we could of had so much fun freaking out Joe and the dog.
“Do you think I’m suicidal?! The threat of a President Biden is the only thing keeping me alive.”
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said…
… “Sorry, but I refuse to let a woman have so much influence. Besides, Valerie said she doesn’t like you…”
I got 99 problems. Don’t be one.
…”I don’t know, the ghost of Franklin Roosevelt is advising me against it.”
Sure! right after I hire the food tasters!
“Over my dead bod-… wait…, no, that would actually make you just ‘President’, so, uh, uhmm… No.”
well, frankly Hillary, I already have the lesbian vote locked up.
Honestly, I was planning on dumping Joe for a woman candidate.
well, only if you can get Monica back too. I need a mule to smuggle in my Cubans.
Yeah, uh, mmmm I need a veep thats -less- uh, mmmm androgenous than me. Makes me look like a uh, uh, uh, authority ahhhhh, figure. And Michelle doesn’t want to have 2 men running the country…. sorry.
Sorry but Joe Bite’em is the only human alive that can make me look smart by comparison.
Joe is the only person that Americans are too afraid to let run the country to take me out.
….don’t ask me, ask Joe.
If he wants to quit, let me know.
What’s happening in Egypt, by the way?
talk to mitt
Hillary asked to be VP. Obama said…MIICCHHELLLLE, can I come in? I have another question to ask you.
No comments were moderated in the making of the above post.
with a puzzled expression, a what? What’s that? Like, a flavor? Hmmmmm VP ice cream….must call Garcia… may have cherries
Well, you’re already quite Pretentious, and while I may not describe it at “Vastly” it’s close enough to be indistinguishable.
Must I get the genital cuff????
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