The first rule of taking the high road is don’t talk about how you’re taking the high road.

— Nate Silver (@fivethirtyeight) August 16, 2012

Nobody would feel safe around a house cat the size of a golden retriever.

— Dan McLaughlin (@baseballcrank) August 16, 2012

If you look at a clock in the mirror it tells you the time in China

— FREE FACTS™ ! (@FREE_FACTS) August 16, 2012

Remember the time when Joker bashed Batman with a wrench and said “Meanwhile, back at the WRENCH” I was totally on his side for that moment

— Carly Monardo (@whirringblender) August 16, 2012