Berkeley’s city council is considering an ordinance that would ban plastic drinking straws from its restaurants and coffee shops.
Why? Did a judge rule that using one is considered an act of free speech?
Berkeley’s city council is considering an ordinance that would ban plastic drinking straws from its restaurants and coffee shops.
Why? Did a judge rule that using one is considered an act of free speech?
The ban may seem like a small thing, but the National Parks Service reported that Americans use half a billion straws per day
A: Why the bleep is the National Parks Service concerned about how many straws are used every day?
B: So they’re trying to claim that every single person in the country uses 1.6 straws EVERY DAY? YEAH OOOOOOOOOOOOK!
Excuse me, I’m going to buy some straw stocks.
OK, lets walk this out a few more steps….
Ban the plastic straws. Fine.
Some people will simply do without.
Some people, like me, will use other kinds of straws. Like straws made from metal.
Except metal comes from the ground and can only be removed from the ground by the process of mining. Lots of people in Berkely are against mining because reasons and feels.
OK, so metal straws are bad. So lets go back to paper straws.
Except paper comes from tree’s and can only be removed from the trees by cutting down the trees, grinding them up into really tiny bits and forming them into paper to then shape into straws. Lots of people in Berkely are against cutting down trees because reasons and feels.
Plastic straws are bad because reasons. Metal is bad because reasons. And paper is bad because reasons. So what’s a straw user to do?
I suggest that we straw users rise up and fight the oppressors! They can have my straws when they pry them from my cold dead mouth.
Make straws from the hollowed out bones of people who voted for the straw ban.
Organic AND sustainable!
Bacon to you, o Wisest of the Wise! Organic, sustainable, and it decreases the surplus human population, thereby reducing the USA’s carbon footprint notwithstanding Trump’s unilateral withdrawal from the Paris Climate Accord. Brilliant!
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Only if they are handcrafted by Peruvian peasants.
I think you mean undocumented Peruvian Dreamers doing the work Americans just won’t do.
“Did a judge rule that using one is considered an act of free speech?”
No, no, it’s not free speech because it’s hate speech, and the government can – indeed, must – silence all hate speech. [Using a straw = symbolic “speech.” Using a straw = an act of hatred against Mother Gaia. Using a straw = hate speech. The government must regulate (and by “regulate,” we mean “eliminate”) the use of straws. Using a straw = fascism. Antifa is justified in whupping straw users upside the head with bike locks in socks. Alles klar?]
They “banned” plastic grocery bags in the PRC (Peoples Republic of Cambridge) and if you want a paper bag, they not only charge you 10 cents, they TAX YOU on the 10 cents so they’re actually 11 cents, all of which goes to the city, not the store that has to BUY THEM to begin with. AKA, A TAX ON A TAX and massive cost for the
storecustomers, on something that is far worse for the environment than a plastic bag when you consider the resources it takes to make them, the fuel used to transport them etc etc so as usual, their claim that it’s saving the planet is BULL$HIT and liberals are too damn stupid to figure that out.Sames goes for bleeping bike lanes (even a Prius gets 0 MPG when it’s not moving) because an entire lane on the busiest roads in the city are now gone. How does that solve the “problem”?
The People’s Republic of California has also banned plastic grocery bags and it is beyond a pain. Bike lanes are not nearly as problematic here as the so-called “HOV” (High Occupancy Vehicle) lanes on the congested, decrepit, wholly inadequate freeways, which the gov’t just passed a massive gas tax to raise money to repair, because for 40 years increasing portions of the budget have gone to government employee pensions and benefits, with zero spent on infrastructure, and now they can’t do one of the few legit things government exists to do, because shortfall. Meanwhile, we are spending BILLIONS on a “bullet” train from Ciudad Dejado de la Mano de Dios to Desolation Village, County of Nowhere, because it is not about solving the “problem” of traffic congestion – YOU are the problem, in your gas-guzzling, four-wheel-drive earth-raping-machine, and the “solution” is to tax and regulate and inconvenience you into abandoning your carbon-spewing, smog-belching, environmentally unsound Independencemobile.
Get out!
Get OUT!
GET OUT OF THERE!
It’s because the straws are white.