Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Hillary’s new excuse for losing the election…
Works like this: I feed you Moon Nukers a straight line, and you hit me with a punch line in the comments.
Hillary’s new excuse for losing the election…
…Triumph ‘broke’ her.
…-“Those meddling kids!”
…-“We misread the key “Frank J.-birthday-celebrator” demographic…”
…Americans dislike corrupt, grasping, besotted, harpy politicians. How could she hope to win against such bigotry?
…the news media who were totally in the tank for Trump.
…all the celebrities who failed to endorse her – and the ones who did endorse her too.
…the Secret Service who failed to stop Russian agents from putting her email server in her bathroom.
Worse yet, they put her campaign into the toilet.
…her server closet got infested by Russian rats.
…Bill dïcked too many bimbos at home.
…she ran out of Scotch.
…she got everyways tired.
…she couldn’t convince people that, like Obama, she had a scandal-free administration.
Maybe she ran out of hot sauce
…her constituents thought she was ‘putin’ on the ritz.
…she thought election regulations prevented miners from voting.
…that pesky
Parkinson’sflu bug kept coming back.…Chelsea was just not pretty enough.
…she attended too many Podesta ‘pizza parties.’
I wonder how many here know about the ‘pizza parties’ reference.
I’m one. Lots of very weird coincidences (smoke) for there to be zero fire. A fake conspiracy or a genuine scandal? I’d love to hear the true story. Or probably hate to.
See, the real problem is it’s too disturbing for normals to even think about.
.. Trump wouldn’t leggo her eggo.
… archaic election laws still require the outdated 18th century practice of “counting” votes.
Hillary’s new excuse for losing the election…
the Rio Grande was running higher than usual this past November.
She couldn’t get the Russians to hack Trump’s email.
never got far enough into the Constitution to get to the part about the Electoral College.
Satan’s October surprise that she had no soul to sell.
I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire! I didn’t have change for cab fare! I lost Bill’s tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!
Crap, I didn’t see this when I posted mine!
Hillary’s new excuse for losing the election…
The 2.5 score she got in the Diving Into The SUV competition
The voters, who refused to ignore the lack of qualifications and intelligence of the messenger, as they had in the previous two elections
Her unlisted phone number for the 3 am phone calls from pollsters
She was too busy washing blood off her hands to campaign
“Let’s Finish America Together” might not have been the best marketing slogan
…her thighs couldn’t take the pressure of the Trump squeeze.
…she wasn’t eating her minimum daily requirement of fetal tissue
…is continued on next page and I haven’t read that far yet.
…saddle blanket chafing made her rear on her hind legs when approached by brokeback cowboys.
…Trump’s hair gel reflected shark born laser beam debate rebuttal tactic.
…bull headed attacks on Trump offset by bulldog face attacks on our optic nerves.
…still sounds like a banshee wailing.
…a misprint on her campaign goodies. It was supposed to say “I’m With Her”, but came back from the printer saying “I’m Withered”.
It was all Bush’s fault!
What…. she’s tried every other excuse so why not go back to some classics?
….Trump’s flatulence during the debates.
….Trump had more fake Twitter followers than she did, obviously all created in..where else : RUSSIA!
(she actually did say that)
She lost her “essence” when a foreign substance was introduced into her precious bodily fluids without her knowledge, and certainly without her choice. It was a post-war Russian conspiracy.
As a former First [sic] Lady [sic], that would make her Jackie D. Ripper.
…she got tangled in a web of deceit and got eaten by web crawling spider.
…swamp gas from a weather balloon was trapped in a thermal pocket and reflected the light from Venus.
Hillary’s new excuse for losing the election…
the bullpen was shaky and she wasn’t getting timely hitting in clutch situations.
piranha.
Awiens!!!
Madonna’s oral sex offer if you voted for her. No one wanted to appear THAT desperate!
(Or lazy <- punch line to an old joke)
…Tim Kaine.
Or his thug son.
I completely forgot about him! Bacon!
I ran out of gas! I got a flat tire! I didn’t have change for cab fare! I lost my tux at the cleaners! I locked my keys in the car! An old friend came in from out of town! Someone stole my car! There was an earthquake! A terrible flood! Locusts! IT WASN’T MY FAULT, I SWEAR TO GOD!