It’s pretty meaningful the Barack Obama endorsed Mike Bloomberg as Bloomberg only paid $3 million for it when Obama obviously could have held out for a lot more. That means Obama really believes in him.

I was going to photoshop Bloomberg as a Borg from Star Trek and call him “Bloomborg,” but Bloomberg just sent me $300 to not do that.

KYLO: “I can’t believe it!”
PALPATINE: “Yes! It’s me! I’ve been alive this whole time!”
KYLO: “So what have you been doing the past 30 years?”
PALPATINE: “Strengthening the Dark Side by spreading hatred throughout the galaxy.”
KYLO: “So, Twitter.”
PALPATINE: “Yes, Twitter!”

Considering how little I use my middle name, it makes sense for me to sell it as ad space.
Frank [your brand name here] Fleming
Who wants to talk price?

Bernie Sanders would be the U.S.’s Corbyn who was the U.K.’s McGovern.

I don’t even know what McGovern’s politics are, but he must have been some stupid hippie or something to lose 49 states to Nixon.
“Everything should be free, man, and have flower prints on it.”
“Shut up, hippie! We’re voting for the off-putting, sweaty guy!”

Is Bernie Sanders a hypocrite because he’s a millionaire with three houses?
Yes. Absolutely.
But does that make you dumb to support him and his unworkable plans that luckily would never in a million years get past Congress?
Yes. It’s makes you very very dumb.

To me, the best thing about Bernie is that he seems more stupid than dishonest, which I definitely put as a plus for a politician. That would probably change, though, if he ever got more power than a mediocre Senator no one pays attention to.

I love how Bernie Sanders supporters argue:
“This economy is terrible! The average man can barely get by!”
and
“Basically everyone has three houses. It’s not a big deal.”

Bernie Sanders is a Communist! If he’s elected president, I’ll be like, “The President is a Communist!” and I’ll probably write a few satire articles where he quotes Ivan Drago. Do you want that?

If Bernie Sanders medical records show he’s in bad health, that could be a plus for him.
“I can’t vote for Bernie! He’s a Communist!”
“Yeah, but he most likely won’t live long.”
“Oh. That’s not so bad, then.”

Bloomberg, one of the wealthiest people in the world, is worth $64 billion. That wouldn’t even get you through a week of government spending.
Tax the government.

Wouldn’t a good way for Russia to interfere in the election is make it known they’re interfering in the election?

I’m fine with you supporting whatever politician you want as long as you don’t pretend the person isn’t a dishonest phony. It’s when we pretend that that we get in trouble.

I’m sorry, but maybe — maybe — you can argue nothing weird is going on if the socialist had only two houses, but it feels like gaslighting to act like three houses is normal. How many people do you know who has three houses?

“It’s actually pretty average for a socialist grifter to have three houses by that age.”
Who do you people hang out with? I know one guy with three houses, and he’s like really rich.

Sorry, I’m just tired of millionaires with three houses whining about billionaires when my family of six has to make do in but one single house.

So is it now the conclusion of Democrats that Obamacare was a complete failure that solved nothing?

I had to stop being humble as I got so good at it it was giving me an inflated ego.

If I had three houses, I wouldn’t constantly whine about billionaires because I’d be too busy worrying I left the oven on in one of them.

One of the reasons the Dems can’t stop Bernie is they’re too afraid to articulate why he’s a horrible candidate other than “he can’t win.”
It would basically be like taking a good portion of their base aside and trying to convince them Santa Claus isn’t real.

Putin got Trump elected with $15 in Facebook ads and now he’s trying to do the same thing with Bernie. Bernie must be defeated in the primary and then kicked out of the Senate; it’s the only way to defeat Putin.

Really, what else does Bernie Sanders have to do other than run for President? He’s old and lonely since most of his friends are dead… killed by the US military during the Cold War.

If you think conserving conservatism involves voting for a Communist, you’ve probably lost the plot.

If you people care about getting people health care as much as you claim, you don’t have to wait for the government to get involved. You can raise the $59 trillion yourself.

A big advantage Medicare for All has over the Republican proposal is that it exists.

So are we now going to get NeverBernies who say they left the Democrats to preserve liberalism but now sound like Charlie Kirk?

Bernie supporters want to give everyone health care in the same way a toddler with a hammer wants to fix an iPad.

You can’t say “Never Trump.” What if he was running against Adolf Hitler? Are you saying you’d support Hitler over Trump?
And what if he running against a Communist?

Started watching MasterChef, and man is there a big difference with MasterChef Junior.
MasterChef: “You should go in the garbage with your food because you’re garbage!”
MasterChef Junior: “Before I go get treated for salmonella, I just have to say great effort.”

People are mad at the Miracle on Ice team for appearing at a Trump rally, but were they supposed to support Bernie Sanders? He was probably rooting against them in 1980.

I think Trump is going a great job, but the Democrats have a lot of great choices for president too. However things work out, I’m super excited for 2021!

Bloomberg and Bernie just need to admit they’re both great candidates and people should be excited for either one.

Bernie Sanders says he things everyone should get health care, but he also doesn’t care that much if people are arbitrarily imprisoned and murdered, so I’m a little suspicious of him.

guy gets charged $1000 for insulin
“This is outrageous! This can’t go on!”
guy gets shot in the head for speaking out in Cuba
“Eh. It happens.”

Seems a little crazy to act like billionaires are a problem when you’re pitching spending plans that make their entire fortunes look like a tiny drop in the bucket.

The main gun loophole is the “criminals don’t obey laws” loophole.

Last time the Dems nuked the filibuster, we ended up with Gorsuch and Kavanaugh. I don’t know what they expect to happen if they do it again.