Straight Line of the Day: Admit it: if you were aboard the starship Enterprise…
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… I’d be tempted to shout, “Hey, where are da green women at?”…
… I wouldn’t stand close to anyone wearing red…
I would ask “Why the hell don’t you guys use seat belts on the bridge, instead of getting tossed around every time something hits the ship?”
Follow up with a question about the efficacy of using hand grenades as fuses.
My Holodeck history would get me court martialed.
I would unplug the holodeck at the most akward time for other users.
“Hey, where’d Audra Barkley go??”
…the replicator would be cranking out more tuna than Starkist.
Tribbles is practically tuna.
Yeah. They’d have to rename that episode “Trouble for Tribbles”.
…I’d do a Survival Kit contents check (one forty-five caliber automatic; two boxes of ammunition; four days’ concentrated emergency rations; one drug issue containing antibiotics, morphine, vitamin pills, pep pills, sleeping pills, tranquilizer pills; one miniature combination Russian phrase book and Bible; one hundred dollars in rubles; one hundred dollars in gold; nine packs of chewing gum; one issue of prophylactics; three lipsticks; three pair of nylon stockings) and head straight to the Holodeck.
…kill Spock before he could suggest a good reason to time travel back to 2020.
1) I’d suggest they look into these things called “seat belts” and “fuses” for the bridge.
2) I’d change out of this red shirt immediately.
3) I’d tell Sulu to scan for Klingons around Uranus.
I don’t think you have to worry about point 3. It’s already his favorite pastime.
Admit it: if you were aboard the starship Enterprise…
well I’m not saying I would finally get to see real Aliens but… I would finally get to see real Aliens.
Again, you mean?
Not saying that.
Just no Gorn
Gorn Lives Matter.
The infamous Gorn Pop from Biden’s past.
Sorry, there’s no Gorn back.
Top o’ the gorn to you.
Admit it: if you were aboard the starship Enterprise…
I would have to admit that it was really, really good acid.
Admit it: if you were aboard the starship Enterprise…
I would use the transporter memory to use my younger copy to get my hair back.
Admit it: if you were aboard the starship Enterprise…
I would boldly go where no man has gone before…
…the Planet Tau Espilon, nudist colony for women.
It’s not what your imagination is telling you. It never is.
Remind Lt. Uhura if she’d clean the earwax off of her headset maybe she would
get something on the hailing frequency for once.
Or maybe just ask Kenneth for the proper frequency.
I’d tell the ship’s computer to ask the ultimate question to life the universe and everything.
Don;t get space herpes!
Stolen from that classic, Ice Pirates.
I’d use the transporter to steal all the Twinkies.
I would… start…. talking…. like this….
I would use the transporter to place invaders inside the large wooden rabbit….Then there wouldn’t be any need to build a large wooden badger.
…I’d repeatedly ask McCoy to do something not in the medical field.
Dammit Jim!
“I’m a doctor, not a script writer!”
I would use phasers to fry “Pigs In Space”
…yielding “Bacon In Space”
…earl gray, hot, would find it’s way onto Wesley’s face. Every. Single. Day.
If You Were Aboard the Starship Enterprise…
I’d explain command responsibilities to Captain Kirk and give him the book, “Captains don’t leave the ship.”
I would treat Starfleet General Orders and Regulations as more like guidelines, than actual rules.
Star Fleet General Suggestions.
Do not interfere with an alien population’s technological advancement.
wink wink
Let’s just say that the restaining order would have me working in the nacelles any time Yeoman Rand was aboard.
… you’d suggest going to Warp 11 “just to see what happens.”
Chekov, spinal tap it.
… I’d get a lot of confused looks when I ask what they plan to do about the Cylons.
Throat punch every hippy Romulan.
I would launch photon torpedoes at the moon!