The only way to be 100% sure your food mascots aren’t racist is to make them all white.

I guess it’s because the nature of a mascot is a little bit demeaning.
But no one cares if you demean like an Irishman or something.

I will not buy Dixie Chicks music while they still perform under that name. Or any other.

“Abolishing the police is a serious thing that could actually happen. To prove it, here is my almost workable plan to replace police for one of the five hundred things we rely on them for.”

I’ve learned some interesting stuff teaching the Bible to my kids: Some of those stories, even though they’re like a thousand years old, are relevant to what we’re dealing with today!

I think the left is always going on about the “right side of history,” because when don’t believe in God or anything, that’s their best conception of some sort of outside judgment righting wrongs.
I wonder what would happen if they found some time transported history book that labeled them as a bunch of angry weirdos? I’m guessing they’d have some unshakeable faith that even further future historians would put those historians on the wrong side of history.

It’s starting to feel very Soviet. No one’s opinions are being changed, they’re just getting scared to express them and always hoping there’s some bigger target the mob will go after rather than them.

What’s offensive is having to spend hours searching for something to be offended by so you have an excuse to attack.

I’d trade Labor Day to make Juneteenth a federal holiday. I still have no idea what I’m supposed to be celebrating on Labor Day.

People say they’re “anti-hate,” but they seem to mainly want to redirect the hate and call it a virtue.

To all the losers and the haters, I wish you eternal joy beyond what the human mind could ever comprehend.

If I were forced to choose, I’d rather just whip myself publicly than read a book titled “White Fragility.”

“That’s for your white privilege.”
whips self
“That’s for… um… bad things other white people did that you benefit from.”
whips self
“And that’s for structural… um… systematic… you know, the bad stuff.”
whips self
“Okay. Lesson learned. Back to watching Netflix.”

Every modern movie should come with the warning: “This movie reflects the values of a broken society and will eventually look abhorrent in the face of eternity.”

I don’t know the correct way to talk about race, but I’m pretty sure you’re all doing it wrong.

“Let he who is without bad tweets cast the first stone.”

My baby son grabbed a pair of my boxers from the folded laundry and started playing peekaboo with them, and for a moment it felt like the sum total of the universe was in that unbridled joy.

I’ll consider a path to citizenship, but my one demand is you stop calling them “Dreamers.” That just makes me want to slap them and you.

Seeing Confederate and other statues torn down tends to give a lot of people a feeling of dread not because the Confederates aren’t terrible but because the people doing the tearing down are terrible and are only getting more encouraged.

Juneteenth is a holiday I had never heard of until a year or two ago, but it does seem like a more important thing to celebrate than a lot of our other holidays.

The New York Times is named after “time” which gnaws iron, bites steel, grinds hard stones to meal, slays king, ruins town, and beats high mountain down. I think it’s “time” to get rid of this horrible tribute.

You’re all such terrible people. Before you tear statues down, tear yourselves down first.

Whenever I put on a mask before going into a store, I pretend I’m Arthur Morgan about to rob a stagecoach.

The Last of Us Part II was very brutal to play through — almost agonizing — but it really reinforced the important message that it’s wrong to stomp puppies to death in front of orphans.

No one is trying to persuade people anymore. They only hope they can get their mob bigger and angrier than the other mob.

Jelly Belly jellybeans are like the opposite of insects as bright colors on insects warn you away while dull colors on jellybeans warn you it’s disgusting.

I keep teaching my kids not to whine. It’s like I’m trying to handicap them for modern society.

I’m all for making Juneteenth a big official holiday, but we need to come up with some standards ways to celebrate it. Right now the main thing seems to be white people lecturing other white people, and I think there has to be something better than that.

I don’t care if I wear a mask, but I want everyone else to wear one.

“How dare you do this on Juneteenth, this most revered holiday that I just found out about three days ago.” —white people

White guilt just seems like an odd form of white supremacy where some white people try to take racism and make it all about themselves and their feelings.

I think a big misconception of today’s mob youths is thinking they’re morally better than racists.

It’s not hard to understand why a lot of people thought slavery was okay when there are still people who think Communism is a good idea. People will grab on to a few aspects of a terrible idea and excuse all others.

We have a lot of people tearing things down but very few making a positive argument for something to build.

I guess we’re lucky already 100% of people are against slavery because otherwise I’d be worried that Nikole Hannah-Jones’s arguments are so dumb they could be hurting the anti-slavery cause.

I can see people grudgingly voting for either Trump or Biden, but getting excited for either seems a bit crazy.

Not having a father is an unfortunately common disability.

On Father’s Day, my 4yo said “Happy Valentine’s Day!” and gave me a drawing of hearts. I guess it’s the thought that counts.

It has to be a relief to get canceled these days. No more worrying; you’re finally free!

So Chris Pratt and I nearly the same age. He’s probably more famous, though.

Spent Father’s Day letting the kids swim in my mom’s pool. Keeping track of four young kids in a pool isn’t exactly relaxing, but such is the burden of fathers.

Remember when the Taliban were blowing up statues? Those guys were like ahead of their time.

If your response to CHAZ was anything to the left of “What a bunch of dummies; this is going to go poorly,” you contributed to the inevitable violence.

If you encourage angry mobs, you have no moral standing to criticize racists. You know what you’re for will lead to very bad things, and you choose not to care.

I only remember one episode of 30 Rock with blackface, where Tracy was done up like a white woman and Jenna as a black man so they could see who had it harder and the joke was they both looked absolutely bizarre (and Jenna offensive).
It was funny, with part of the joke being Jenna was too obtuse to understand how offensive she was. Should I have not found it funny?
I don’t really understand the rules anymore. It feels like Calvinball.

I’m a little confused; exactly what sort of statues need to be knocked down so cops don’t kneel on someone’s neck for nine minutes?

Hate crimes that perfectly fit the narrative are apparently extremely rare, and that’s a good thing.

When I first heard about the NASCAR noose thing, my reaction was “Who in the world would do such an awful thing?” Luckily, once again the answer was “No one.”
You feel like a jerk doubting these stories because what if it really happened this time — there are psychopaths out there. Still, the smart thing is to assume they’re not true until there is a lot of corroborating evidence.
Really important to note that this isn’t another Jussie Smollet. Bubba was just told about the “noose” and didn’t see it himself, and perhaps the whole thing was just an honest mistake and not a hoax.

Been trying to get my kids to watch Clone Wars and Rebels as I didn’t realize that was all canon and all the stuff from it is going to keep coming up in Star Wars TV shows and video games.

In Jedi Fallen Order SPOILERS Darth Vader makes an appearance, and I was curious if there’s like a Vader guy they use to voice him when James Earl Jones would be too busy/expensive. Ends up, one guy has been voicing Vader in video games all the way back to Tie Fighter in 1994.
And man, video game credits for AAA games are like 20 minutes long and completely uninteresting to me until they get to listing the open-source libraries they used at the very end.
I saw a clip from the cartoon Rebels where there is a fight with Vader, but I didn’t think the Vader sounded very good in it and I was wondering why they didn’t the video game Vader guy as he does a really good Vader voice. I looked it up, and Rebels used James Earl Jones.