I once had to write “I will not spit on the playground” 100 times on a blackboard for spitting.
I had to write a lot of things 100 times. Frigging nuns were out to get me.
He was a piker.
You had to write the same word down the column and then write the next in the row down the column.
Bart wrote the whole sentence out each time. That’s how noobs do it.
Teachers at my school didn’t seem to take “supervision” too seriously. As long as the same number of kids came back in as went outside, they figured, “Mission accomplished.”
Things you learned in the schoolyard: …
I learned from Julio.
… and the Queen of Corona
I learned to stay away from Corona.
I triple dog dare ya.
Things you learned in the schoolyard: …
blacktop hurts when you fall on it.
…Gravity is a cruel mistress… on the monkey bars…
Got my first 3 stitches from the m-bars in kindergarten. Nobody got sued, life went on.
Scars are just tattoos with better stories.
… Oxford wingtips are hard to run and cut in…
Always carry cootie spray.
… when the bully “chooses you off”, get in the first and last blows, and as many in the middle as you can manage…
Avoid shorts on a metal slide on a hot day.
gum stuck to playground equipment is not free candy
… always stand behind someone when you mouth off to the teacher…
Schoolyards in Virginia and Maryland had grass. Acres of grass. In D.C. it was all asphalt.
In D.C., I was the minority student.
I learned that I was always going to be the quiet kid wherever I was, even when the fight started. Quiet then straight to Tasmanian Devil cartoon.
Also, a punch to the jaw makes you stupid and food hard to chew.
Flagpoles can freeze saliva quickly.
I had to learn two more words to the pledge of allegiance in the 2nd grade.
Play ball? No, that’s the Star Spangled Banner.
The proper way to fold the American flag.
Gum left on the monkey bars is easier to chew in the summer.
Always know who the weakest kid on the playground is. If you don’t know, you better start running…
… if you can’t spot the weakest kid on the playground you are the weakest kid on the playground.
Spitting is mandatory. Even for the girls.
I once had to write “I will not spit on the playground” 100 times on a blackboard for spitting.
I had to write a lot of things 100 times. Frigging nuns were out to get me.
Way to go Bart.
He was a piker.
You had to write the same word down the column and then write the next in the row down the column.
Bart wrote the whole sentence out each time. That’s how noobs do it.
They didn’t call that red metal merry-go-round “The Hurler” for nothing.
I learned that the gym teacher had a HUGE penis.
This begs the question…were you male or female at the time?
Was the gym teacher male or female at the time?
Kinda where I was going with that…
Mrs. Robinson was the. Hottest. Teacher. Ever.
Was she the gym teacher?
This seemed popular yesterday, thought I’d recycle them with a few minor edits…
Sandlot rules, my friend. It’s the quick and the dead out there.
It’s a dog-eat-dog world out there, just gotta figure out who is wearing the Milkbone underwear today.
“Do we not crush our enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentations of their women!” (as screamed from the top of the jungle gym)
(Doors open to the playground, and with one voice…) “CRY HAVOC! AND LET SLIP THE DOGS OF WAR!!!”
There’s always room for one more stormtrooper when playing Star Wars.
The neighbors walk their dogs on the schoolyard after dark.
Ewwwwwww…
Things I learned in the schoolyard: …
Don’t play mumbly-peg with Lefty.
I admire the trust-level of a teacher that would allow knife based games in the schoolyard.
Teachers at my school didn’t seem to take “supervision” too seriously. As long as the same number of kids came back in as went outside, they figured, “Mission accomplished.”
Things I learned in the schoolyard: …
Yes, tether balls, in the proper situation, can be an effective weapon.
Things I learned in the schoolyard: …
When you hold enough of a size advantage, rock does beat paper.
Sometimes violence does solve problems.
If you have a rock stuck in your nose or ear, a comical flop onto the ground will usually knock them free before the nurse gets back.
That paddle over the principals door was just for show, but that phone call to dad was for real.
Things you learned in the schoolyard:
From zero to puberty in one instant hard-on.
Hoping against hope that the teacher wouldn’t call on me when Woody had already made his presence known.