Toy for the Elites: Cadillac’s $300,000 Electric ‘Celestiq’ Gets Just 300 Miles per Charge
Breitbart | 10/18/2022 | Alana MastrangeloGeneral Motors announced that its new $300,000 Cadillac Celestiq, an electric vehicle, will get just 300 miles of range per charge.
Straight Line of the Day: If I’m getting a $300,000 car, it’d better…
… generate its own power without fuel or charging…
Not have to wind it up with a big cartoon like key
… double as a residence, for tax purposes…
… be completely Emu-proof…
Good luck.
…not need me to make vroom vroom noises as I go down the road
… come with a house.
…. get free unlimited car washes at that Duck place.
Have a good short term resale value.
…come with a really long extension cord.
…come with a free bowl of soup.
…give me a ‘happy ending’ every time I park.
A rear-ending?
Not that there’s anything wrong with that…
…come with 4 snow tires… made by the DeLorean Motor Company.
. . . not be from GM
….Be a HOVER CAR! Oh, man, that would be
so COOL!!
I saw a Hoover Car once, it was a ufo, but I called it the Hoover Car because it looked like cylindrical vacuum cleaner…going near the speed of light and now I have permanent stiff neck trying to track it.
….have spare underwear and a hammer in the tool kit.
I can’t spare any underwear, I’m almost all out of clean ones…
…require less than 1.21 Gigawatts to get going.
…provide a a celestial body as a riding companion.
… be because the $500,000 car is in the shop…
Better come with a couple t-shirts and a ballcap with their logo so I can look like a hero saving the planet…while I walk to the nearest phone or civilization, to get a AAA tow ordered..
Twin .50 cal. Brownings behind the headlights.
Come with it’s own driver. Like the one in Men In Black.
Have a young Christy Brinkley type in the passenger seat who regularly rests her head in my lap.
..get fire insurance and keep it parked away from the house..
At least make me a sandwich…
…come with a pit crew.