Say you wish to remain silent and ask for a lawyer immediately. Don’t give any explanations or excuses. Don’t say anything, sign anything, or make any decisions without a lawyer. If you have been arrested by police, you have the right to make a local phone call.
I am seeking asylum from a State ruled by Democrats. They were trying to force me into a camp for indoctrination and to receive an AOC tattoo. Please help get me to a Republican sanctuary..or a titty bar..whatever is closest..
“I’m sorry, officer. I just couldn’t leave California fast enough.”
“I WANT ASYLUM, NOW!!!”
Say you wish to remain silent and ask for a lawyer immediately. Don’t give any explanations or excuses. Don’t say anything, sign anything, or make any decisions without a lawyer. If you have been arrested by police, you have the right to make a local phone call.
“Hey, I found a border y’all actually do patrol.”
“Do I know how fast I was going? You mean you don’t?”
“Do I know how fast I was going? Not as fast as you just were.”
“Citizen’s arrest! Citizen’s arrest!”
“Let me introduce you to my friend, Ben…”
Things you might say to a state trooper as you speed into his state from yours
The Emu’s loose, the Emu’s loose. AIEEEE!!!!!!!!
….if this weren’t the buckeye state you wouldn’t have any nuts at all.
Except for Connecticut.
“I’m a scientist, and I’m just testing out my new flux capacitor, do you mind?”
“I was just rushing to deliver these fresh doughnuts to your precinct. Here you go. Thank you for saving me the trip.”
Things you might say to a state trooper as you speed into his state from yours
I knew l should’ve brought bear spray.
I am seeking asylum from a State ruled by Democrats. They were trying to force me into a camp for indoctrination and to receive an AOC tattoo. Please help get me to a Republican sanctuary..or a titty bar..whatever is closest..
Hey, Dis ain’t Pismo Beach… I must’ve taken a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
“I’m driving a Chevette. Good luck proving in court that I was speeding.”
“I heard banjos.”
Your state’s welcoming committee could use a refresher course on hospitality.
Yeah, so I wuz doin’ 85. Greetings from Montana, smokey!
A la Lloyd Bridges in “Joe vs the Volcano”:
“Got any whiskey?”