I like shrimp at holidays — to me they almost epitomize holidays. I’m planning to have some for New Year’s. So here are shrimp, rated worst to best:
- Shrimp …. raw. Uncooked.
- Cooked shrimp found on sidewalk.
- Shrimp … if you are allergic to seafood.
- Shrimp with both complete shell and legs attached. Peel and work for your morsel, slave!
- Shrimp with legs attached. (Tied: shrimp that the government funds to put on treadmills to see how fast they run.)
- Shrimp with either shell and/or legs, and no receptacle provided for their disposal. In your pants pocket is nasty.
- Shrimp scampi is nice, but you end up with a surplus of scampi — and again, scampi in your pants is nasty.
- They try to hide a morsel of shrimp in too much baked batter. Don’t order the fried shrimp. Or CornPop shrimp. That’s bad, dudes.
- Stuffed shrimp is very good, since they usually get the ratios right, and they use those Fred Flintstone–size shrimp.
- Shrimp cocktail. The very best. James Bond–level shrimp.
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Honorable(?) Mention:
Kamala Harris yells out ‘shrimp and grits’ as reporter shouts out question about Hamas ceasefire deal in Gaza as she exits Detroit restaurant
Daily Mail | 5/06/24 | Charlie Spiering
Dishonorable Mention:
Endless Shrimp Is Financially Ruining Red Lobster
Food and Wine | Stacey Leasca | 12/6/23Not every deal is a good deal.
Yes, you can, in fact, have too much of a good thing. And it appears Red Lobster is learning that the hard way.
In an earnings report call in early November, Ludovic Regis Henri Garnier, the CFO of Thai Union Group, which owns Red Lobster, announced that its Ultimate Endless Shrimp deal, which is normally a limited-time offer but was added to the daily menu in June, was exceedingly popular — so popular that it caused the restaurant chain to post an operating loss of more than $11 million in the third quarter of 2023.
“We knew the price was cheap, but the idea was to bring more traffic in the restaurants,” Garnier told investors, according to Restaurant Business. “So we wanted to boost our traffic, and it didn’t work.”
For you Hunter gatherers:
Prawn to be wild: cocaine found in all shrimp tested in rural UK county
The Guardian | 1 May 2019
You’ve hardly scratched the surface…
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H1nA1wanH2s
Brit shrimps on coke. I’m leaving this planet.
… Scrooge: “I’ll retire to Bedlam.”
I didn’t know shrimp were native to rural Kentucky.
Bourbon Shrimp
Wutsamadda wit popcone shrimp?
Bubba Blue:
“Popcone shrimp is nuttin but rooster testicles. Stay clear of em. Believe me cause I know everthang they is to know about shrimp.”
And ladies, that goes double for you! Them’s high-power avian testosterones in those irresistible bites! They’ll grow hair on your chest!
I once ate endless Snow Crab @ Red Lobster and woke up the very next morning with my left elbow bone somewhat deformed due to gout.
No one ever told me shellfish has the power to do that and we were in the early days of Google and I just didn’t think to Google it to see what the consequences of eating about 4 pounds of the stuff would be. (true story jack, no joke)
Your word as a Biden?
Over in England on vacation, I bought a bag of shrimp-flavored Walker’s potato chips (crisps). They tasted like something, but not like shrimp.
Those Cock-eyed Cockneys are a hoot mate!
Just remember: If the pepper on that shrimp starts to move, it’s sat out too long.