Beach Safety Reminders:
Lifeguards are no longer on duty.
Rip currents, undertows, and shore breaks are hazardous.
Be aware that sharks hunt for seals in shallow water.
Avoid areas where seals are present.
Do not dress up like a seal.
Stay close to shore.
Swim, paddle, kayak, and surf with others—never alone.
And not with a seal. Have you been paying any attention?
Avoid murky or low-visibility water.
Did you cause it? You probably saw a shark coming at you.
Bring plenty of Alka-Seltzer– seagulls are notorious for indigestion.
My helpful tip would be to just stay out of the water. I recently read that aborormaly high human feces levels, due to raw sewage, is being detected along the whole East Coast. Maybe Biden’s poopin in the water at that little ole beach of his?
Just invite Seal along – his entourage will crowd you right out of the water and provide an alternative target for shark attacks, guaranteeing your safety…
Henry Olusegun Olumide Adeola Samuel respectfully declines your offer to serve as shark ambassador.
Gummy Bears and beach sand DO NOT mix … ever!
Helpful Tips for September Beach-Going…
…go to the mountains.