Raiding Arizona
American Thinker | 11 Dec, 2022 | Clarice FeldmanA few weeks ago, Julie Kelly tweeted that FBI director Christopher Wray has scheduled a “bureau-wide call with all 36,000+ FBI employees” this month.
Straight Line of the Day: At the big FBI staff meeting, it will be announced…
… that, like all the rest of the social media sites, FBI must trim staff…
… that subpoenas are on the way, so better get some legal counsel, quick…
… the assignments for the first all-trans investigation unit…
At the big FBI staff meeting, it will be announced…
Cry havoc and release the dogs of war!
…that every single one of you must apologize to Trump and his family or no Xmas bonus this year.
… that, in the future, all FBI-paid travel will be limited to one carry-on, and two carry-off pieces of luggage…
Unless you run the spent nuclear waste division.
Most FBI agents don’t have such a keen eye for fashion…
Liz Cheney will be the head of the TDS division
At the Big FBI Staff Meeting, It Will Be Announced…
a life size bronze of Mark Felt will be commissioned for the break room.
. . . that decades ago, J. Edgar Hoover himself destroyed the missing evidence from the Kelner case
and was responsible for all that missing luggage from the female agents.
. . . they have invented a new class action subpoena for everyone who ever voted for someone with an “R” after his name. They feel that will be a huge time saver.
“This call will be secretly recorded the ensure absolute harrumph compliance.”
Next year is their Centennial and the theme will be J. Edgar Hoover’s love of crossdressing…FBI..always ahead of the times..
Well if it’s like any other Government All hands I’ve heard it’ll go something like this:
Safety: It’s the Holidays! Enjoy time with your family Celebrate safely (socially distanced and preferably outside). Remember that fentanyl we let in is some deadly stuff. Stick to the blow. And of course, don’t get caught drinking and driving.
Workforce: I want to thank you for all the hard work you do (pause for laughter). No really, that social media thing, great. It’s all out now, and because of your hard work, nobody cares! Win.
Future: Next year is another new year, marking the beginning of another 2 years on offense! We’ve still got the ball, so let’s keep running hard (right over the peoples rights). If we do this correctly, we’ll never be on defense again.
…to release the Kraken.
…or the Karen!
…that it’s time to crackdown on dogs and cats living together.
…The Vicious Chicken of Bristol has been added to the Ten Most Wanted list
The 36000 on one meeting site will crash. , a failed proof of concept..so travel by small business jet by Wray will still be mandatory and required..
It will also proves Director Wray isn’t a team player..he will never utter the words..”Put me in coach..”
At the big FBI staff meeting, it will be announced…
…the cat is out of the bag and he’s pissed.
At the big FBI staff meeting, it will be announced…
Pivot to DeSantis.
. . . at the request of the White House, Corn Pop will be featured on a future episode of America’s Most Wanted.
. . . Elon Musk has a treasure trove of evidence against Hillary.
…We must abolish and stamp out redundancy.
Our chief weapon is fear, fear and surprise.
Our two chief weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency…
Our three chief weapons are fear and surprise and ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical dedication to the deep state…
Our four chief weapons are… wait, let me come in again.
They will announce their own social media platform, friendly to their views of law enforcement. Helping the “good” citizens that have left Twitter in search of the ” truth” they can all believe in..
It will be known as..”TWATTER”…
FBI members will be empowered to go on the social media and report daily how many TWATS they assisted..the number of TWATS that seem suspicious etc. Members will be encouraged to include the new FBI social media’s pronouns ” TWIT/ TWAT ” next to their badge number and name in all communications…no joke
Tony Stark: We have a Hulk.
FBI: We have a Hillary.
Hey, our bad. Turns out two wrongs make a right.
Your name, followed by a D, presumes your innocence. Your D, followed by a onald Trump, presumes your guilt.