Last week we explored Hard Truths ™. This week, we discuss confronting Inner Demons.
If you have Inner Demons, don’t confront them, as this will only irritate them. And they have excellent ways to strike back at you.
Also, don’t tell us about them. We honestly don’t want to know. We prefer to think of you as this fairly compatible person who we can share some space/time with, without running shrieking into the night.
Your Inner Demons may have been revealed in your choice of Halloween costume one year, or in your choice of dates, or the template you chose for your checkbook. The point here is that you never know what will reveal your Inner Demons to the outside world. Happily for the outside world, it is very judgmental and can spot these lapses in an instant.
In sum: suppress them, sublimate them, squash them, and don’t let any waitress or stewardess see them. The world will be a better place. (But I think they prefer to be called Flight Attendants.)
And if you’re sitting in a window seat above the wing at night, DO NOT open the shade unless the flight attendant is there to also witness your inner demon appearing outside the window! DON’T DO IT!
And miss out on the opportunity to watch the sunset at 30,000 feet?
Inner demons can easily ruin a round of golf.
I thought it was my terrible slice off the tee that ruined my golf game.
Aw, Inner demons are Tight!
Any time I feel like I have inner demons, I just watch some Annie Elise videos on YouTube. Then I feel like I just have some rude inner voices and maybe some poor dietary choices.
Breasts. Was she talking?
For the next hour, sit quietly and we will control all that you see and hear. We repeat: There is nothing wrong with your computer monitor. You are about to participate in a great adventure. You are about to experience the awe and mystery which reaches from your Inner Demon to… Your Outer Kraken Monster!!
(And now a word from our sponsor…. Aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrr!!!)
Joe Strummer:
Well I’ll tell you one thing that I know
You don’t face your demons down
You gotta grapple ’em Jack
And pin ’em to the ground
“If you have Inner Demons, don’t confront them, as this will only irritate them. And they have excellent ways to strike back at you.”
Can confirm.
Unrelated:
There’s this hot looking, young kind of “flirty” chick where I work, who wears a black hoodie with a pentagram on the back & underneath the star it says “love me like my demons do” … so you’re probably saying I shouldn’t hit on that. And I ‘spose you’d be right …
In the words of Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter:
“Danger, Danger, Danger!”
My inner demon has information that will lead to the arrest of Hillary Clinton.
Danger, Danger, Danger!
Your inner demon will probably end up in the bottom of the East River.
I’m never concerned about my inner demons…my outer demons on the other hand are a huge problem.